Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing

He is 82. Not young.
Thanks for asking
Civvy

Oh, Dear People, I usually write when my mood is more positive. In already stressed lives, I try not to dump my sadness. But when I opened this string of remarks this morning, my mood was already compromised by the relentlessness of taking care of details of home and health that are mine alone. It sounds like most of you are in the early stages of dementia where we try to read meaning into every nuance of behavior change. Although, on occasions, my husband becomes what I call snippy, our situation is not dire in that respect. But, my age (86) and built-in longevity for him (94) find me focusing on a destiny that does not look sunny. It is late morning here, and I have just sent him off to the TV after he has completed the chores that are his morning routine. Those morning chores must be delivered one at a time because he is confused if his jobs are meted out in groupings of two or more. Along the way, there are many instructions like no left, or just above where you are looking. I have become calibrated to his movements and hesitations in a variation of the old joke. --How do you get to Carnegie Hall; Practice, Practice, Practice. By the time he is ready for the TV, I am ready to go back to bed. But, it keeps him involved and helps me track if big changes in his cognitive abilities are happening. Somehow, we have to find the silver lining in what we must do for those we love. Today, as he watches a hockey game rerun or a Sunday golf tournament replay, I will be busily organizing the explosion of unused and unwanted objects in our garage. Hopefully, the challenge of physical activity (I use a walker) will bring a boost of wellness, and this cloud of doom over my head will dissipate. This forum is so important to all of us whether it is to pass on information or just to let someone who gets it know we are tired. GloRo

GloRo
Sometimes there is no “silver lining “ and I have come to believe that that is ok.
You have been dealt a really bad hand as have many who come here to visit. I for one am glad that you feel you can “dump your sadness” here. Dump on!!
There are days when I am so overwhelmed. I keep a photo of my husband close by and then I turn to it at those times. I know he would be doing for me the same thing I am doing for him if the tables were turned.
He is ill . I am not. For that I thank my lucky stars. We can hold multiple feelings at the same time. Problem is that it gets exhausting to do so

Civvy, thanks for the response. Funny that I have looked at this situation every which way and have missed the exhaustion from boomeranging emotions. It seems I go between being the energized bunny and a complete slug. And lately, that slug has been more insistent. Today, I am wondering why in the heck I put a few tomato plants on the deck and flowers in containers in the front of the house. Then, I remember I did it to hold onto his interest in such things. However, now he cannot remember what the hoses only a few feet away are for, and he wanders around the kitchen looking for the watering can, which, if I haven't told him to leave on the kitchen counter, he puts only God knows where. It is like daily plowing the same field, knowing full well there will never be a crop to show for your effort. I guess I have earned this feeling of fatigue. Next year, the planters will stay empty. At least I won't do that to myself again. Your response has gone a long way toward keeping me in the game. GloRo

Connection with our loved one changes throughout the phases of the disease as it robs the functioning of the brain. Yet there are moments with joy, a laugh, a smile, even better yet-a hug. We transition from living with an eye on the future to taking in & trying to deal with each moment. My goal is to have as many good moments as possible!! Take photos, write notes, store away these memories; these are 'the good old days.'

Dearest ladies, (and gentlemen), wherever you are on this journey, stop and give yourself an inner hug as you are a wonderful person who has the strength of Vikings conquering the world! When I look at the mounds of untackled tasks that now surround me I remind myself of my mother’s words saying that dust will wait but a baby won’t be a baby for long so hold your baby before you bother with housework. I must remind myself that this man I love more than I can express is only here for a short time longer and I must take a deep breathe then love him NOW. God Bless you all and be kind to yourselves, spend your last dime on help, and know that you are loved!

WOW ! Powerful words. Thank you.
My husband is still in the early stages so I know I have a long journey ahead.
I am so grateful for this site……for the
wisdom and experience of those who have been travelling this road ahead of me
God bless you all.

Yes! Enjoy the moments now. My husband was in the early stages and I like to tell myself he still is but every day there is a little more slip. And a lot more reason to make every day count.
We just took a weekend away to Maysville, Kentucky, just 90 minutes from home but far enough to enjoy a mini vacation. I think we will do more of these.

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2019, but I noticed changes in his cognitive abilities and willingness to be sociable two years before. He still functions pretty well around the house, but doesn't drive. I take care of everything: house and car maintenance, finances, health care, etc.
A week ago, my husband fell while we were out walking. His cane tip got stuck in a crack in the sidewalk and he lost his balance. He fell face forward into the street, had a bloodied knee and other bruises, but no major damage done.
He stayed in bed, sleeping mainly, for three days after the fall. He seemed a little more confused, but got up for meals. I attributed this to the trauma he experienced from the fall. Although he's not high maintenance at this point, and taking care of him is relatively easy, I still marveled at the peacefulness I experienced from his three days in bed. I didn't have to answer questions, or constantly keep an eye out to see what he was up to, and I enjoyed my solitude.
Now he's recovered and has started working on some jigsaw puzzles on his own, which he wouldn't do before. I bought some children's puzzles, 60 - 100 pieces rather than the "senior" puzzles, 16 -35 pieces. They're not babyish or mawkish, but vibrantly colored images of dinosaurs, aquatic life, etc. that keep his attention. He actually sits down, concentrates, and works until he completes a puzzle. Then he has a great sense of accomplishment. Maybe the three days in bed recharged his brain.

I think three days in bed would do a lot of people a world of good.

In my case, I haven't had a single decent night's sleep since my stroke, 5-1/2 years ago.

...Where did you say this sidewalk was?