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Your gratitude changes because of organ failure...

Posted by jolinda @jolinda, Nov 27, 2019

Have you noticed that your gratitude has changed both pre and post transplant? I watched a fellow transplant recipient walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding last weekend and I was overcome by the beauty of the moment. I struggled a second time not to cry when the bride made a special toast to the living donor who saved her Dad's life.

Both the process of becoming very sick and knowing how blessed I am to have gotten a transplant have made me more grateful. I find myself stopping more often and feeling more deeply the little moments in life that I have gotten the pleasure to witness. I don't think I was this emotional before being sick.

Is it just me? Have you had an experience where you feel more emotional because of this crazy journey? Are we all just more aware and grateful than we were before or is it just the meds talking?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Transplants Support Group.

JK | @contentandwell | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @joanaiken "Hospice was part of the discussion pre first liver transplant. Not an option, as my son..." + (show)
@joanaiken

Hospice was part of the discussion pre first liver transplant. Not an option, as my son was in HS and I wanted to see him graduate. Since that time, he has graduated from college, has a strong career and just bought a house. He is now 29. So worth everything to witness and be a part of that.

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@joanaiken our kids are great motivators, aren’t they?
JK

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gaylea1 | @gaylea1 | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @joanaiken "Yes, indeed !!! The very best." + (show)
@joanaiken

Yes, indeed !!! The very best.

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@joanaiken I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my kids. They spent every night by my side in hospital for 3 weeks. They took turns sleeping while I was debilitated with my worst HE which landed me in a coma. I pulled through and my daughter took me to live with her for 3 months. To this day they monitor how I'm doing. My daughter will be taking me to my ERCP in March.

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1 reply
gaylea1 | @gaylea1 | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @contentandwell "@rosemarya I too experience gratitude every day but it also hurts my heart when I think..." + (show)
@contentandwell

@rosemarya I too experience gratitude every day but it also hurts my heart when I think of my donor - only 34 and died due to hospital mishandling. She should be thriving like my own daughter of the same age and name. I pray that her widower and father have found peace and acceptance.
JK

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@contentandwell I wrote a letter to my donor's family just before Christmas. I haven't heard back get but I think of my donor all the time. I don't know the age, sex, or cirumstances of death. I only hope that they were able to understand my depth if gratitude.

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1 reply
joanaiken | @joanaiken | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @gaylea1 "@joanaiken I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my kids. They spent every night..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@joanaiken I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my kids. They spent every night by my side in hospital for 3 weeks. They took turns sleeping while I was debilitated with my worst HE which landed me in a coma. I pulled through and my daughter took me to live with her for 3 months. To this day they monitor how I'm doing. My daughter will be taking me to my ERCP in March.

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That is wonderful. To this day I believe that my son and I, along with my husband, are closer than ever .

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JK | @contentandwell | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @gaylea1 "@contentandwell I wrote a letter to my donor's family just before Christmas. I haven't heard back..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@contentandwell I wrote a letter to my donor's family just before Christmas. I haven't heard back get but I think of my donor all the time. I don't know the age, sex, or cirumstances of death. I only hope that they were able to understand my depth if gratitude.

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@gaylea1 it was quite a while before I heard back from my donor’s parents, I think almost a year. When they did respond they were very forthcoming with describing their daughter and signed their names. Then there was a lot about her in the news and I recognized the name immediately. The February issue of Reader’s Digest had her story in it, condensed from a long article that had been in the Boston Globe Sunday newspaper magazine a while ago.
JK

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jolinda | @jolinda | Mar 2, 2020
In reply to @rosemarya "I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance..." + (show)
@rosemarya

I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance - good lab result days, renewed energy to take a longer walk or workout, putting on gloves to do a bit of gardening, when someone says they remember when I was so ill, and when they say that I look good (Who doesn't love a compliment?), or just sleeping all night.
However, there are also some days when my memories on a particular date recall a difficult pretransplant experience. This past week, I was faced with a flood of emotions as I recalled the date in February 2009 when I arrived in Rochester via air transport from ICU in 2009. Our options, presented by my local transplant team, was a short stay in hospice care - or - maybe have a chance to be approved for transplant at Mayo. Today I am overflowing with gratitude !

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Rosemary,
Fighting your way back from a path that seemed to be veering sharply toward hospice is no small feat. I am so glad you received your kidney and liver transplants! You've been so uplifting to me as you've expressed your gratitude for your donor, time with your loved ones, hikes in the woods and being surrounded by nature. Thank you for taking time each day to touch base with our online community and share your journey and message of hope. Today I am grateful for you!
Jolinda

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joanaiken | @joanaiken | Mar 2, 2020

I can relate to those small beautiful moments that almost take your breath away. I tend to think it is a result of our journey, possibly influenced by our meds. I know that I had always considered myself to be compassionate and nonjudgmental of others. I see now that I wasn't so much. Seeing though a new lens has brought me more personal gifts that I sure did not expect.

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Mentor
Dana, Volunteer Mentor | @danab | Mar 2, 2020
In reply to @rosemarya "I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance..." + (show)
@rosemarya

I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance - good lab result days, renewed energy to take a longer walk or workout, putting on gloves to do a bit of gardening, when someone says they remember when I was so ill, and when they say that I look good (Who doesn't love a compliment?), or just sleeping all night.
However, there are also some days when my memories on a particular date recall a difficult pretransplant experience. This past week, I was faced with a flood of emotions as I recalled the date in February 2009 when I arrived in Rochester via air transport from ICU in 2009. Our options, presented by my local transplant team, was a short stay in hospice care - or - maybe have a chance to be approved for transplant at Mayo. Today I am overflowing with gratitude !

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@rosemarya yes i can definitely relate. I had a great blood test recently and it was a joy I'm not sure most would understand. That's what i love about connect others besides my wife and i who understand.

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