1. < Transplants

Your gratitude changes because of organ failure...

Posted by jolinda @jolinda, Nov 27, 2019

Have you noticed that your gratitude has changed both pre and post transplant? I watched a fellow transplant recipient walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding last weekend and I was overcome by the beauty of the moment. I struggled a second time not to cry when the bride made a special toast to the living donor who saved her Dad's life.

Both the process of becoming very sick and knowing how blessed I am to have gotten a transplant have made me more grateful. I find myself stopping more often and feeling more deeply the little moments in life that I have gotten the pleasure to witness. I don't think I was this emotional before being sick.

Is it just me? Have you had an experience where you feel more emotional because of this crazy journey? Are we all just more aware and grateful than we were before or is it just the meds talking?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Transplants Support Group.

gaylea1 | @gaylea1 | Dec 2, 2019
In reply to @contentandwell "@gaylea1 if you refer to the response from @colleenyoung further back a little bit, she provided..." + (show)
@contentandwell

@gaylea1 if you refer to the response from @colleenyoung further back a little bit, she provided two links. One is a conversation I started, and the second is one that someone started about writing to the donor’s family. In that link I included a picture of the guideline I received, and the name of the organization that I sent the letter to. I think you will find both links very helpful. I had forgotten that I had put a picture of that document in there.
JK

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Thank you!

REPLY
gaylea1 | @gaylea1 | Dec 5, 2019

@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted it to my transplant coordinator.for mailing. Here it is:

Hello Dear Family,
On November 28th 2018 two very important events occurred changing both our family's lives dramatically.
You lost a loved one and I was extended another lease on life.
My family and I send you our deepest sympathy. It must have been very difficult losing a loved one especially at that time of the year.
For my family it was the opposite. As you were saying goodbye we were rejoicing with the special gift of a life saving organ.
I was very ill the previous three years.
I am the mother of two children, a sister a daughter an aunt and a wife. We had much to celebrate as I could now live to see grandchildren and spend more time with my family.
Because of the liver transplant I am now regaining my health and hope to live a long and happy life.
That day I received the greatest gift a person could ever wish for - life.
We can not thank you enough for your loved one's selfless act.
A part of your loved one resides in me and I will cherish it and never forget the wonderful person who gave me the gift of life.
Most Sincerly,
Your organ donor recipient.

I hope that they get at last a little solace with this.

REPLY
3 replies
skipmarsliver | @skipmarsliver | Dec 5, 2019
In reply to @gaylea1 "@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted it to my transplant coordinator.for mailing. Here it is:

Hello Dear Family,
On November 28th 2018 two very important events occurred changing both our family's lives dramatically.
You lost a loved one and I was extended another lease on life.
My family and I send you our deepest sympathy. It must have been very difficult losing a loved one especially at that time of the year.
For my family it was the opposite. As you were saying goodbye we were rejoicing with the special gift of a life saving organ.
I was very ill the previous three years.
I am the mother of two children, a sister a daughter an aunt and a wife. We had much to celebrate as I could now live to see grandchildren and spend more time with my family.
Because of the liver transplant I am now regaining my health and hope to live a long and happy life.
That day I received the greatest gift a person could ever wish for - life.
We can not thank you enough for your loved one's selfless act.
A part of your loved one resides in me and I will cherish it and never forget the wonderful person who gave me the gift of life.
Most Sincerly,
Your organ donor recipient.

I hope that they get at last a little solace with this.

Jump to this post

I’m quite a wait until I received a transplant (my MELD is not high enough for Duke to place me on their list). I have long thought about the person and family who will be suffering the loss. Your note is quite well written, and I am sure with great sincerity. I’m glad to have this as a model for me in the future. By the way, I celebrated my 70th with my family this Thanksgiving. Congratulations on your anniversary.

REPLY
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 5, 2019
In reply to @gaylea1 "@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted it to my transplant coordinator.for mailing. Here it is:

Hello Dear Family,
On November 28th 2018 two very important events occurred changing both our family's lives dramatically.
You lost a loved one and I was extended another lease on life.
My family and I send you our deepest sympathy. It must have been very difficult losing a loved one especially at that time of the year.
For my family it was the opposite. As you were saying goodbye we were rejoicing with the special gift of a life saving organ.
I was very ill the previous three years.
I am the mother of two children, a sister a daughter an aunt and a wife. We had much to celebrate as I could now live to see grandchildren and spend more time with my family.
Because of the liver transplant I am now regaining my health and hope to live a long and happy life.
That day I received the greatest gift a person could ever wish for - life.
We can not thank you enough for your loved one's selfless act.
A part of your loved one resides in me and I will cherish it and never forget the wonderful person who gave me the gift of life.
Most Sincerly,
Your organ donor recipient.

I hope that they get at last a little solace with this.

Jump to this post

@gaylea1 This was a great submission you sent in. When you were finished, how did you feel? For Bill [my husband] when he wrote his donor family, it was a difficult task, as he is not prone to voice his feelings, but he felt compelled to let the family know his thoughts and gratitude. I am sure the donor's family will be happy to hear from you, even if they decide to not communicate back to you. We never heard from our donor family, unfortunately.
Ginger

REPLY
1 reply
gaylea1 | @gaylea1 | Dec 5, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@gaylea1 This was a great submission you sent in. When you were finished, how did you..." + (show)
@gingerw

@gaylea1 This was a great submission you sent in. When you were finished, how did you feel? For Bill [my husband] when he wrote his donor family, it was a difficult task, as he is not prone to voice his feelings, but he felt compelled to let the family know his thoughts and gratitude. I am sure the donor's family will be happy to hear from you, even if they decide to not communicate back to you. We never heard from our donor family, unfortunately.
Ginger

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@gingerw it has taken me months and months to decide what to say. At first I started out telling them about my journey that led to a transplant but it was just depressing. So, I decided to make it a little more uplifting thanking them and focussing more on my donor. It was cathartic and I feel so much better knowing that I reached out. If I hear back it would be nice but if not at least they know how grateful I am.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 5, 2019
In reply to @gaylea1 "@gingerw it has taken me months and months to decide what to say. At first I..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@gingerw it has taken me months and months to decide what to say. At first I started out telling them about my journey that led to a transplant but it was just depressing. So, I decided to make it a little more uplifting thanking them and focussing more on my donor. It was cathartic and I feel so much better knowing that I reached out. If I hear back it would be nice but if not at least they know how grateful I am.

Jump to this post

@gaylea1 Uplifting was a great decision, as it uplifted you and will them, also. Very proud of you for taking the step to reach out! We have so much to be grateful for.
Ginger

REPLY
JK | @contentandwell | Dec 6, 2019
In reply to @gaylea1 "@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted..." + (show)
@gaylea1

@rosemarya @contentandwell ... I finally wrote my letter of gratitude to my donor family and submitted it to my transplant coordinator.for mailing. Here it is:

Hello Dear Family,
On November 28th 2018 two very important events occurred changing both our family's lives dramatically.
You lost a loved one and I was extended another lease on life.
My family and I send you our deepest sympathy. It must have been very difficult losing a loved one especially at that time of the year.
For my family it was the opposite. As you were saying goodbye we were rejoicing with the special gift of a life saving organ.
I was very ill the previous three years.
I am the mother of two children, a sister a daughter an aunt and a wife. We had much to celebrate as I could now live to see grandchildren and spend more time with my family.
Because of the liver transplant I am now regaining my health and hope to live a long and happy life.
That day I received the greatest gift a person could ever wish for - life.
We can not thank you enough for your loved one's selfless act.
A part of your loved one resides in me and I will cherish it and never forget the wonderful person who gave me the gift of life.
Most Sincerly,
Your organ donor recipient.

I hope that they get at last a little solace with this.

Jump to this post

@gaylea1 That's truly beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. You expressed so well what we all feel.
JK

REPLY
Mentor
Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor | @rosemarya | Mar 1, 2020

I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance - good lab result days, renewed energy to take a longer walk or workout, putting on gloves to do a bit of gardening, when someone says they remember when I was so ill, and when they say that I look good (Who doesn't love a compliment?), or just sleeping all night.
However, there are also some days when my memories on a particular date recall a difficult pretransplant experience. This past week, I was faced with a flood of emotions as I recalled the date in February 2009 when I arrived in Rochester via air transport from ICU in 2009. Our options, presented by my local transplant team, was a short stay in hospice care - or - maybe have a chance to be approved for transplant at Mayo. Today I am overflowing with gratitude !

REPLY
4 replies
JK | @contentandwell | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @rosemarya "I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance..." + (show)
@rosemarya

I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance - good lab result days, renewed energy to take a longer walk or workout, putting on gloves to do a bit of gardening, when someone says they remember when I was so ill, and when they say that I look good (Who doesn't love a compliment?), or just sleeping all night.
However, there are also some days when my memories on a particular date recall a difficult pretransplant experience. This past week, I was faced with a flood of emotions as I recalled the date in February 2009 when I arrived in Rochester via air transport from ICU in 2009. Our options, presented by my local transplant team, was a short stay in hospice care - or - maybe have a chance to be approved for transplant at Mayo. Today I am overflowing with gratitude !

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@rosemarya I too experience gratitude every day but it also hurts my heart when I think of my donor - only 34 and died due to hospital mishandling. She should be thriving like my own daughter of the same age and name. I pray that her widower and father have found peace and acceptance.
JK

REPLY
1 reply
joanaiken | @joanaiken | Mar 1, 2020
In reply to @rosemarya "I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance..." + (show)
@rosemarya

I also experience gratitude every day, and some days I'm more aware than others. For instance - good lab result days, renewed energy to take a longer walk or workout, putting on gloves to do a bit of gardening, when someone says they remember when I was so ill, and when they say that I look good (Who doesn't love a compliment?), or just sleeping all night.
However, there are also some days when my memories on a particular date recall a difficult pretransplant experience. This past week, I was faced with a flood of emotions as I recalled the date in February 2009 when I arrived in Rochester via air transport from ICU in 2009. Our options, presented by my local transplant team, was a short stay in hospice care - or - maybe have a chance to be approved for transplant at Mayo. Today I am overflowing with gratitude !

Jump to this post

Hospice was part of the discussion pre first liver transplant. Not an option, as my son was in HS and I wanted to see him graduate. Since that time, he has graduated from college, has a strong career and just bought a house. He is now 29. So worth everything to witness and be a part of that.

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