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Your gratitude changes because of organ failure...
Have you noticed that your gratitude has changed both pre and post transplant? I watched a fellow transplant recipient walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding last weekend and I was overcome by the beauty of the moment. I struggled a second time not to cry when the bride made a special toast to the living donor who saved her Dad's life.
Both the process of becoming very sick and knowing how blessed I am to have gotten a transplant have made me more grateful. I find myself stopping more often and feeling more deeply the little moments in life that I have gotten the pleasure to witness. I don't think I was this emotional before being sick.
Is it just me? Have you had an experience where you feel more emotional because of this crazy journey? Are we all just more aware and grateful than we were before or is it just the meds talking?
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The holiday seasons can be fraught with roller-coaster emotions, whether we are chronic illness sufferers, transplant recipients, or dealing with mental health issues. Pausing to acknowledge those who have allowed us to be here today by their gifts have become part of my traditions.
@gaylea1 Your donor family might very well be pleased to know you are doing so good, and that is in itself a celebration of their loved one, don't you think? To know that their grief is tempered because another person gets to celebrate this year, would be a comfort to them. Letting them know how you are giving back to your community and family would mean a lot to them, while allowing you to feel the gift you received fully.
Ginger
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1 Reaction@gaylea1 I don't think it's ever too late to show your gratitude. I was told to wait a while until their grief was not as raw, and I did. I too knew nothing before writing a letter, my surgeon wouldn't even tell me the gender of my donor! I wrote to them and received a letter back, almost a year after my letter. They were very open in their letter, signing their names and telling me the name of their daughter.
How is your situation different? Maybe we can offer some suggestions if we knew more. If I can find the guideline given to me by the local UNOS group I will scan it in and attach it if that would help you. That is, if I can find it.
JK
@contentandwell ..after reading your reply I guess my situation isn't really all that different. Did you write a letter and give it to the doctor in did you send an email with your letter attached? Thanks for sharing with me.
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1 Reaction@gingerw thank you Ginger. You are absolutely right.
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1 Reaction@gaylea1 here are 2 other discussions on Connect that you might find helpful. @contentandwell shares more of her experience and tips in these 2 discussions:
- Writing to Your Donor's Family https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/writing-to-your-donors-family/
- Letter to donor family: I'm not sure how to start https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/letter-to-donor-family/
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1 Reaction@sallycurrier, I want to welcome you to Connect. I am happy to meet you and I thank you for sharing your awesome gratitude experience. Organ donation is a gift that gives much more than a renewed healthy life. In fact I have a t-shirt that reads: "Organ Donation is a gift for life". Nice, but doesn't begin to express what it is like to wake up from that surgery, does it?
I have read several members tell about their need to convince their loved to allow them to be tested as living donor. How long ago was your transplant? Do you remember if that was what you had to do? Or, was it the other way around where your friend had to convince you to accept their offer? If you are comfortable doing so, please tell us about the 'beginning' of your journey?
@sallycurrier, Have you had a chance to look thru the Transplant Discussion Group? As a member, you can join in anywhere at any time. Here are a few that I have selected as a starting point.
-Living Donor Process
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/living-donor-process/
-Sweats after a kidney transplant
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/sweats-after-a-kidney-transplant/
-What do you do when your temperature goes Up, Up,..?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-do-you-do-when-youir-temperature-goes-up-up-d/
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1 ReactionHi @rosemarya
Nice to hear from you... I’ll try to answer briefly.
My medical Centre, UCSD, sent information, to names I provided, regarding donating a kidney for me. I didn’t do it personally. My kidney came from a friend who told me she was gonna give me a kidney because she knew she was a match. She was! Even better than my brother. And yes, I kept refusing, but she won. (Well she won that battle but was one of very few ‘bleeders’ and laparoscopy became major surgery.) It was very touchy but she is great still today, 17.5 years later! She’s amazing!
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3 Reactions@gaylea1 before I was discharged I was given a packet with an address to send it to, and a sample letter to give the patient some ideas for the letter. I was told to not include more than my first name. Those letters are always sent to a third party to maintain anonymity. If your transplant center didn’t give you a packet like that, give them a call. It must have somehow gotten overlooked.
JK
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1 Reaction@contentandwell I will definitely ask them. Thank You!
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2 Reactions@gaylea1 if you refer to the response from @colleenyoung further back a little bit, she provided two links. One is a conversation I started, and the second is one that someone started about writing to the donor’s family. In that link I included a picture of the guideline I received, and the name of the organization that I sent the letter to. I think you will find both links very helpful. I had forgotten that I had put a picture of that document in there.
JK