Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Actually our daughter and her husband have done almost everything. I believe the problem is my total loss of control and how quickly things are happening. I always knew something like this would happen, however all this has occurred since Nov 1st and we be moved by 16 Jan. Not leaving the house in condition to sell, just a lot of details I would like to handle myself and being given no chance to do so. I know they are doing what they believe best but it has kind of thrown me for a loop since we are leveling an area we retired to 32 years ago. Not sure how I will handle all this.

Thanks for more fully explaining this issue. We all react when we feel we have lost control in our lives and tend to cling to the known past, instead of look toward the unknown future.

I’m hoping that your preferences were considered when your new home was chosen. If so, my plan would be to focus, as much as possible, on what I like about my new home and what modifications I could make and possessions I would bring to make it home.

Change is hard and unsettling. I wish you well and believe that you can do this successfully.

I’m very sorry you feel such loss of control! Have you spoken to your daughter about how their decisions make you feel?

My husband and don’t need that kind of level of care at this point, but I am already talking with my daughter about our wishes for the future. I really hope she and my sons will honor them and we will be able to make those necessary decisions together.

Llnd2sey-
Above all, what do you need to recreate a home that will support your most important everyday ways of living, of taking care of your daily needs? These will give you strength of identity in your new location.
Is there someone (your therapist?) who can come to your home now and help you make these decisions?
This is a very difficult situation, and I hope you can get some immediate help.
Ed

Thank you.

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I’m 72 and my husband is 69. We will be relocating from a warm climate to a colder climate in 2025. This is in order to be near kids. I dread the climate change. Okay with all of it - just not icy sidewalks and cold, grey days.
I fear being trapped indoors.
Thoughts?

Can you choose an apartment or condo complex with common areas and activities? My friend pondered this decision for 10 years and finally made the move, but needed to be sure there were others nearby to chat with, maybe play a card game or work a puzzle.

I know how you feel. Our decision has not been made yet, but basically it comes down to a choice.

Move near our family where they will help us with needs. We love them very much and they make us happy. We would build on to their home, but be independent. We also have long-term care insurance, which could include help at home or assisted living.

The negatives are cold weather, getting in a car for all of our activities, etc.

Where we are now is warm and all the activities can be gotten to by Bicycle, golf cart or car. All level ground.

Opinions, please. I know there is no magic ball.

Regardless of how much money I may have I have lived a minimalist lifestyle for many years and it frees up so much time; time that I spend on the things that really matter to me. I own few possessions but the ones that I do have are of high quality and they give me so much more happiness than rooms full of "stuff", much of which I rarely or never use. The best part? When I need something I just buy it!

And what if you plan to move to live near or with your kids but separately, and they decide they don´t want that much closeness? You cannot predict how things will be in the future. Be very cautious in moving to be near someone because their feelings can change, even after you move.
Been there, done that. One year later I moved back to where I came from.