Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

I forgot to mention that I still work full time. So, less time to fill. And, I will still be working after the move.
My husband is retired and good at occupying himself.
I can’t live in a condo as I have dogs and cats and plan to be a beekeeper.
I’m not worried about being lonely or changing my mind about living near kids — or them changing their minds - I’m worried about falling on ice.

We are 91 and are snowbirds and in good health. During the summer we live about an hour sea from our daughter. During the winter we are on the Gulf coast, warm and toasty.
We want to be near our kids for emotional support when we have health issues. Our son has come down when needed. Our daughter has family issues but wants us to come nearer to her.
As you may guesss we are grateful for this plethora of blessings. But we are conflicted as to what to do.

Have been thinking about that too: To move closer to my kids or stay where I am (Am a pretty healthy 84 year old female).
Pretty much decided to stay. Will be in my home, that has been remodeled for older people, as long as I can drive, then think I will move to an independent or dependent living facility here in town.
My grown kids don’t get along, but I will suggest for them to promise me to visit every month, taking turns. They live a 4 hour drive away, are busy with work and pets.
There are positives and negatives of course. Even made myself a list of likes and dislikes in both places, for example: I really like their area, but don’t like their drama.
Have many more positives here, my friends, my church, my doctors, etc.
So far so good.
As I said before, am praying to be able to make the right decisions whenever it becomes necessary. 🙏

Every day I think about my decision that is coming. My husband has had Alzheimer’s for 10 years and now I have been diagnosed at age 82.

My thinking this morning is true. Put my house up for sale and move in to an assisted living place nearby, and we have long-term care insurance that will pay for it. Seems like a no-brainer all of a sudden .opinions?

Applaud you for making your decision, but you probably know that even though you are doing the right thing, it will not be easy.
Sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and go on with it.
I have watched a demented neighbor being moved to a location where I know she wouldn’t want to go, because she waited too long, wanting to stay in her own home.
So I too want to be able to make my own decisions while I can, and not be at the mercy of my kids or those government organizations.
Am glad you have longtime care benefits, that’s a real blessing. I certainly wish you well!

I agree - my dear friend just ..."So I too want to be able to make my own decisions while I can, and not be at the mercy of my kids or those government organizations..."
She is happy with her decision, and just spent her first Thanksgiving and Christmas with her kids in 12 years - but she's not looking forward to the next 4 months of cold - but she chose an apartment in a small town she likes (her kids would have moved her to their city) where she has access to other artists, the library, her old doctor...and no city traffic.
But I miss her so much - we visited every day, painted together, had adventures big and small and laughed a lot - we have plans to visit her in the Spring and she loves to come to our town because we always find new things for her to see and do.

Hi Sue,
I always enjoy your responses, and have a question/suggestion. Can you and your friend chat on zoom? I talk to my sister that way once a week, another friend frequently, and old friends from time to time. It is a really fun way to see the other person. I also do some writing/drawing that way with people--we both get on, hang out, then do some creative work, share. It lessens the distance. Anyway, happy new year!

Actually, yes we can. She has been my painting teacher for 4 years, and 2 friends and I will be doing painting with her this winter (she is MUCH better than we are, but we have a lot of fun.) I just wrote her a note and sent it off with a jigsaw puzzle I had made for her from one of my photos.

We moved into a CCRC while we are still healthy. We love the Freedom it gives us. No more maintenance headaches, we can cook or not, lots of classes and entertainment. But the BEST thing - FREEDOM! We can shut the door and leave. Our mail is collected and held. If we expect something important, they will scan, email, or forward to wherever we are. PLUS we have "staff" the apartment is cleaned, and maintenance even changes lightbulbs! Our dining room is excellent and strives to include everyone's food choices.

We are not rich - we pride ourselves that this is a "working mans" CCRC.

I am only 68, but have 'brothers and sisters' and 'moms and dads' who genuinely care about us, are supportive and are truly amazing people who have led very interesting lives.

May I ask, what is a CCRC? This sounds SO ideal to me. My husband is not yet ready to leave yard work, cutting trees, snowblowing...he still enjoys being active that way. But if something happens to him, it will be up to me to find help with all of that. The CCRC sounds wonderful! Just to be able to go somewhere and not have to worry about anyone breaking in or some malfunction of a furnace, etc...what a blessing. I think you have found the ideal place and I can just "feel" the freedom (from worry for me) you speak about. I hope we can get there someday too. We have no children; we have nieces and nephews that we enjoy holidays with but they have busy lives and limited availability.