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To move near family or stay put
we have been living in a retirement community for 21 years, and our children are encouraging us to move back to our previous community and be near them. We have long-term care insurance which could cover us in either place should we have the need?
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@joanland Toure so welcome and it sounds like you’re well on your way to a good checklist.
I’ll tell you, at first I saw my move as a failure. I “couldn’t make it” in the town I’d chosen to retire in. It really changed when I started thinking of it as an adventure and thought about all the things I’ll be able to do once I move. The icing on the cake - or maybe the cake itself - is that I get to live just a short drive from my “baby” sister, my best friend.
I wish you all the luck and much happiness in whatever you choose.
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3 Reactions(Darn it. You’re so welcome)
@joanland you did the right thing for yourself, too. Hopefully your son and his wife - or at least your son - will reconcile at some point.
@beckboop13 I agree with @celia16.
@beckboop13 I agree with @celia16 - stay where you are happiest. Go with your gut feeling.
My husband insisted on moving here three years ago to be close to our son and his family, because he hated driving the two hours the few times a year we visited them. I don’t drive. He was 70 and I was 76 at the time. It was a very stressful move for me and it has not worked out well for me either. I feel very isolated where we are living.
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3 ReactionsAs I contemplate my future residence…….I think about practical needs. Now, I drive anywhere I want. But, I am considering down the road and what if I’m not able to hop in the car and run to the grocery store, post office, doctor’s office, restaurants, the gym, etc. I am very social so my priority would be easy access to all the places I go and enjoy. I love to be able to walk to the movies, dining, park, etc. So living near these places is my ideal situation. I want to avoid being in an isolated area.
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6 Reactions@gloaming a woman feels more stress during a move because she feels responsible for taking care of all the details that entails.
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2 Reactions@hraka13 (Area, not sees)
@celia16 Great point. I never have had a drivers license so an adequate public transportation is a must when I look to move, it’s why I choose the larger city near my sister instead of the unincorporated town she lives in. If I lived in her city, it would lake me 20-25 minutes to walk to the bus. Now it’s downhill, as is the post office, local grocery store, library, city hall, coffee shop. Well, you get my idea.
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3 Reactions@rashida I don't think so. As I said, as a military guy, I have moved at least eight times in my career. Each time, my wife and I bore down and got to work....as a team. We mapped out our several obligations and challenges, coordinated with each other as to what had to be done in sequence, with or without each other's help, and we came together with the inspection of the trucks' contents and it leaving the curbside on its way to the next posting. We divided the work, each according to his/her abilities and time, and we high-fived as a couple for our successes, time after time. Neither of us felt a stronger responsibility or onus for what had been apportioned to us.
This is not to say that all partnerships are like mine. Perhaps what you say is true for some, and that is unfortunate. I did have one move where my wife had to do almost all of it because I was 3000 km away on a career course and was due to be posted so that the Canadian Forces could benefit from my new training and knowledge. I regret that, but she did everything, and did it very well. In that one case, it would have been very trying and daunting.
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