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The Loneliness
How do you manage the profoundly lonely moments as a caregiver for your loved one with dementia? I’m a person who absolutely enjoys and needs a lot of “alone time”, however this situation somehow makes me feel much more lonely. And sad. Very sad. It’s probably the limited and circular conversations coupled with the loss of social life and work.
Thank you for listening.
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@timber2026 I wanted to also add in my earlier Karla - to - Karla note, when my husband started to get angry and flair up - I told him that I was going to bash his head in, if he continued to talk to me like that. That I loved him, and wanted him calm, and not angry, as when he's angry, he hurtful and he hurts me with his words. I don't know if it was the "bashing" part or the I love you and when you are angry, you hurt me part. It's hard to know what they know, or remember, but I do remember, it did resonate with my husband. He settled down a bit. I suppose it depends what stage they are in. Best, Karla
@kjc48
Karla,
Even though I don't post as regularly as you and others do, please know that I am totally connected to all of you and our mutual journey.
I love how all of you keep the passing the baton going--for we are all on the same relay team.
Thanks so much.
Love,
George's Wife
P.S. No matter how bad things have been or can get, at least none of your loved ones has called "911" to report you as a menace.
A few evenings ago, my darling George--at the advice of his son, who did not even call me first to find out my version of reality or give me the heads-up--called "911" because George was hallucinating and he had an anxiety attack. (He said I was threatening "to strip," and that he did not feel save.) Five police officers showed up at our door.
Trying to find the positive in this horrible experience, I convinced myself that God was testing my ability to forgive--to forgive George, and more to the point, to forgive his son.) God was also giving me this experience so that I can be a poster mom for you folks who never had children and who are wishing that you did--so that you would have theoretical help in sharing the responsibility of caregiving. As I have said many times before, "the calvary is not coming"--but we have each other, the members of this Forum, and our devoted director and mentors.