The Driver's License Discussion...

I think it is wise to understand that with dementia, you may never convince that person to stop driving. That requires a level of logical thinking that is just not there anymore. What remains is the emotions, disappointment, frustration, thinking that others are out to thwart their desire to keep driving. I try to reflect his feelings " Yes, I can understand how you would feel that way" and reassure him " I will take you anywhere you want to go, anytime you want" redirect him " Hey, I have some ( favorite food, activity, TV program) let's do that.
It doesn't always work for everyone but it can avoid anger and all the behaviors that go with that emotion.

I struggled with this as well with my husband but we finally got past it after about 18 months but I know it's different for everyone. At first the conversations would start with me telling him that his doctor didn't think it was a good idea because of his forgetfulness and nobody wanted him to get in an accident. He would respond that he knows how to drive and he's a good driver, which he was. He was the main driver for us. He never tried to just go for a drive, but to make sure, I secretly took his keys just in case. I was always having to come up with reasons why I didn't want him driving and it wasn't always easy for him to accept. I'm sure it made him feel "less than" and that he was losing his independence. I can only think how this disease makes him feel angry, frustrated, etc because he can't do everything he used to, cuz I know I would feel the same. He finally accepted me telling him that I enjoy driving him around being his chauffeur so that he can enjoy all the sights from the passenger seat and not have to think of anything while out for a ride and he liked that idea. And once in a while he would say " you're a good driver".
I hope you can find a solution soon because I would hate for him to get hurt or anyone else while he's behind the wheel.
Strength, Love and Peace

Before my dad finally took my mom’s keys, whenever we went anywhere I would offer to drive. She always asked why, I learned to respond that I was thinking of getting a new car, and wanted to try hers out:)

I'm curious and found your share very interesting. How did the insurance company know he was diagnosed enough to drop him from the policy? Is that something they search or something that the family communicated to the insurance company? I never thought about him being dropped on the policy for driving if he had MCI. On the radical thoughts, I never thought about divorcing my husband as he progresses, more in tow with helping him at home through any progression and then if it gets so difficult to give him the level of care he needs that I can no longer give him, getting help from a facility that offers assisted to memory care. I just don't know enough about any of it to know right now as we're in the early, mild stages of his diagnosis. But I worry about the driving too. I also worry endlessly about the computer scams with his clicking away, day in and day out. I just saw a video on CareBlazers about that, interesting... I'm sure it's how we got hacked into back in November 2024. What a mess that was, to get resolved with having to change every bank account, password, autopay designations, etc. Someone had actually taken over my husband's computer multiple times, they were changing Microsoft instructions so he wasn't receiving any of his emails; they were. Then going into his bank accounts, charge cards and trying to draw money out of it. Scary stuff..... knowing, that if they forget and don't know, they'll click on something again.