On Grief from a Lost Relationship

Hi @jay_baruch, thank you for being opening up about what you're going through. I've seen many of your posts on Connect before and know that you've tried different therapies and medications yet your depression hasn't fully subsided. As you mentioned, alcohol can complicate things as it is a depressant and can worsen the situation when combined with antidepressants: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/antidepressants-and-alcohol/faq-20058231

Have you tried channeling your anxiety into hobbies? It can sometimes be a positive distraction that aides in the coping process. Here's a list of some other methods in case you haven't tried them: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm

I'm also tagging @jajade, @lilwitch, and @roxie43 who might be able to share their experiences. Never forget that you're not alone, we're here for you.

@aliskahan, thank you for the referrals and for the helpful links. I have been thinking about doing some volunteer work to help build up my self-esteem (hobbies), so I'm glad that you mentioned that as a reminder. I'm trying to get out of my head and into life in a better, more productive way; while it is difficult when one is depressed.

I am not in this group but saw your post and could sesnse your desperation so felt the need to reply. Exercise is also a great way to release good, healthy endorphins which help combat depression and will help you boost your self esteem. Break this cycle to let go of your fear and know you are not alone and NOT a failure. We all have weaknesses and are not perfect but we all have what it takes to change ourselves for the better. #dontgiveup. #staystrong. #youcandothis

@coastalgirl , I thank you very much for your words of relief and recommendations; too, as well, that you sensed my emotional desperation. I am a decent person, but I see too often only my faults. My ex-partner, she told me that we can change, and I know that to be true. It's just very hard work. If I don't see a brighter way, that work just becomes harder, so it's helpful that people like you remind me that it's not easy but it's worth the effort. 🙂

It definitely can be a hard road but if you keep getting up day and having the goal of moving forward, no matter how slowly, and letting go of past failures, you can make a change. Reach out to trusted sources to help you through the rough spots because no man is an island. We all need positive support!! Wishing you smooth sailing ahead.

It is so difficult for me not to think of myself as an Island, because of my circumstances of moving recently: I don't have any friends here, and my friends of the past are so closely tied to my breakup, it's unusual. And when I think of what I did emotionally to a person, that she had to say good-bye, I feel like I should be destroyed. Sigh. I don't know how I can forgive myself, ever.

What a difficult situation. Try and reach out in your new area to support groups, therapist, church, or other groups so you can grow a support network. Do everything you can to stay strong. Each day brings the promise of hope and a chance to get it right. Don't lose hope. Just focus on the future and brighter days and not the past. Once you can forgive yourself you can begin to heal.

You are bright, and I mean that in the sense of light and in of knowing. Thank you for your support.

Hi ... while our situations are not exactly alike, I fully understand what you're feeling. About 8 years ago I was divorced from my husband of 42 years .... this was my last resort. He is a narcissist and would not do anything to change ...... I was "irrational and illogical" .... he was fine. Those were the most painful years of my life. It is only within the passed few years that I feel more adjusted, but it is not easy. But, in your case, it sounds as though you can do something to help yourself. First, get help from a good Psychiatrist ..... next get help for your alcoholism, and get into intense therapy. I can understand your sadness and guilt, but this is a case that you are able to do something about it .... there is help out there ...... go after it!
Good luck, Abby

@amberpep, thank you for the great advice, and I am doing all those things. It's hard working on yourself. Still, I'm pervaded daily with sadness. I have to just keep plodding through this.