Aging and Changing
Discussion Group for people frustrated by eating out in public or feeling as if behavior with a diagnosed but not “solved” problem could result in exclusion from their family’s dinner table. Examples: Spontaneous urination and laughter during dinner or tremor that causes food to be pushed off a plate.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.
@bakerwise, what great topic to explore: Aging and Changing. As we age or experience a health event like stroke or car accident we are sometimes forced to adapt to unexpected changes that can exclude us from activities we love and took for granted. Hand tremors, incontinence, memory loss, speech changes, mobility changes are just a few. There are many more.
How does one adapt? How does one negotiate between acceptance and pushing through? These are questions we constantly ask and re-evaluate. I'd like to bring @hopeful33250 @debbraw @parus @thankful and @harriethodgson1 into this discussion, and hope others will join in as well to share their experiences.
What life change(s) are you facing? What impact has it had on your daily life? What solutions or adaptations have you made? Where are you with acceptance?
Like so many caregivers, I'm aging and changing. I had a bout of tachicardia and it was scary. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. My grandson, a junior at The Mayo Clinic School of Medicine, happened to be delivering groceries to us at the time. He listened to my heart with a stethoscope, took me to the emergency room, and I stayed overnight for observation. Could I continue to be my husband's primary caregiver? That was the question that bothered me all night. Someone on the health care team thought I might need valve repair surgery. I saw a Mayo Clinic heart valve specialist and he prescribed medication instead. We had already paid a deposit at one assisted living community. This incident prompted us to pay a deposit to a second community. Staying in our wheelchair-friendly townhome is the best option for us. However, this option works only as long as my health is good. Right now I feel great.
How fortunate that your grandson came by at the right time @harriethodgson1. I am glad to hear that medication is helpful and that you have been able to avoid surgery. It is so fortunate that you have been able to stay in your townhouse and not make any major moves at this time. We all know that the time might come for more changes, but it is nice to keep things familiar for as long as possible.
Hello @colleenyoung and @bakerwise, I agree that this is a great discussion topic. Adapting to and accepting changes related to aging and chronic health problems can be very difficult but also necessary.
I struggle with heart problems, neurological problems, voice problems and find I'm always dealing with limitations regarding one or the other and sometimes all of them. It can get mind-boggling at times.
I do my best to keep myself in a positive mode of thinking. I work on all of these matters with my doctors. I'm involved in regular exercise and physical therapy to help with movement problems and to keep as strong as I can. I also use speech therapy on a regular basis to help with voice strength and control. In addition, I was fortunate to find a part-time job after my retirement, where I could work from my home. Therefore, having a continued sense of purpose and a little extra income.
I have not always been so upbeat, though. When the realization of all the disorders first came my way, it did seem overwhelming. It just didn't seem fair that my busy and rewarding life could change so dramatically and I was disappointed and discouraged for several years.
Joining support groups has been a big help to me. In person support groups as well as Mayo Connect have helped me to look at my life from the perspective that what is happening to me is not new, but a typical thing at this stage of life. The example of others who take on the struggle of chronic health problems is also an inspiration to me.
So I continue on and find ways to have purpose and meaning in my life.
I am also looking forward to hearing from others that Colleen has tagged in her post and also @lioness, @grandmar and many others from our Connect community.
This is a FANTASTIC topic of discussion! I am 63 yo and I went out on SSI 5 years ago. We moved to Central Florida to escape the cold winter months and the deterioration of my health.
Although I try to keep positive, I can't always. Sadly, my list of ailments are getting longer. I do thank God, however, that non are deadly.
You certainly sound as if you have a handle on dealing. Good for you! My hubby says I am always looking at the glass half empty.
Glad you found this site.
Harriet, I'm glad you have the support of your grandson and that he was able to help you in an important way. Care giving is tough and stressful sometimes. All of that can take a toll on your health. Do you have anyone that can step in for you so you can have a break? I understand how rewarding it is too, to care for someone you love. I spent a couple of years taking care of my disabled parents and during that time, I was developing a spine problem that needed surgery, and I had to be careful not to physically hurt myself. It was the hardest years of my life, and my dad passed away, but it also gave me extra time to spend with him which I cherish. It was just after my dad passed that I could focus on my own healing and I had spine surgery at Mayo. I still look after my mom, but she's doing well on her own and now has some small dogs for companionship. Hopefully you can reach out and ask if you need some help. You don't have to do it all, and it's OK to have help. I'm glad you're doing well.
Thanks for your reply Jennifer. A Visiting Angels caregiver comes to our home every morning, 365 days a year, and stays for two hours to get John up. Their help enables me to continue my writing career.
Its nice you can stay where you are as we age moving becomes not only hard on us physically but being moved out of your surroundings is hard .Can you find respite care for your husband they will give you sometime for yourself Some insurances have this option I see you have Visiting Angels there are agencies that will shop for you if needed ,call office of aging they can help in alot of ways also.
@hopeful33250 We all need to see the glass full you Theresa are a good example of being so positive and helping others is being of good service and balance in our lives With all the problems in my life I as all of us have to adjust I know if I walk to much then my thighs hurt like crazy so Im getting my groceries delivered I cant walk all day like I use to so will just live in my senior building and help others here,I do chair exercises and water aerobics which keep me moving,for this is the key
Thanks for your input, @lioness, you adapt to the needed changes so well. Your participation on Connect is a great way to expand your influence.