Aging and Changing

Posted by bakerwise @bakerwise, Oct 16, 2018

Discussion Group for people frustrated by eating out in public or feeling as if behavior with a diagnosed but not “solved” problem could result in exclusion from their family’s dinner table. Examples: Spontaneous urination and laughter during dinner or tremor that causes food to be pushed off a plate.

@grandmar

@jshdma
Good Morning!
That doctor is something else!
I believe there is a difference between accepting getting older and giving in to getting older.
I accept that I am getting older but I am not giving into it.
I am fighting as hard as possible without going over the edge and doing things that can be harmful to me or others.
Giving into things is not always a bad thing.
Your break a leg and you need to rest your leg. The rest of your body feels great and you want to go out.
You need to give into the fact that if you don't rest your leg, you can develop more issues before doing things before your leg is ready.

Ronnie
GRANDMAr

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@grandmar– Yes and No to the need for rest a broken leg. My mother broke her leg and rested– and rested– and rested, until all her bones got soft that she almost lost the leg. Tragically, although a great doctor saved her leg, she spent the rest of her life resting in bed. Even one resting in bed (for a short time) should be exercising in other ways. Endless rest is death.

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I identify with "gracious harvesting" because I've lived it. In 2007 my daughter, mother of my twin grandkids, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later the twins' father died from the injuries he received in another crash. The court appointed my husband and me as the twins' guardians, and we did this for seven years. We got them through high school and college. Both of the twins graduated with honors and Phi Beta Kappa. Today, my grandson is a junior at The Mayo Clinic School of Medicine. My granddaughter is married to a minister, an independent photographer, and participant in the foster children program. For me, their achievements are gracious harvesting.

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@jshdma

@parus Hah! Emily Post wrote a (famous?) book on etiquette / good manners a long time ago, in an age that valued such things. (nothing personal– obviously public manners are completely degraded). I just meant that serious work has little to do with the superficial.

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@jshdma Oh!! I do eat with a knife, fork and spoon. Now I “get” where you are coming from. Hope you don’t mind my getting a delightful chuckle out of the Emily Post comparison now. I must have missed that best seller as I was surrounded by Vanderbilt wanna be’s. This is hysterical. Excuse I am the visual type. Thank you and admire your spunk!!

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@harriethodgson1

I identify with "gracious harvesting" because I've lived it. In 2007 my daughter, mother of my twin grandkids, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later the twins' father died from the injuries he received in another crash. The court appointed my husband and me as the twins' guardians, and we did this for seven years. We got them through high school and college. Both of the twins graduated with honors and Phi Beta Kappa. Today, my grandson is a junior at The Mayo Clinic School of Medicine. My granddaughter is married to a minister, an independent photographer, and participant in the foster children program. For me, their achievements are gracious harvesting.

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@harriethodgson1 Wow! That sounds more like a whole new career than gracious harvesting (of past dreams or achievements). You deserve a lot of credit.

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Well, sometimes life doesn't give you choices, and you have to do the best with the hand you're dealt.

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Thanks for the like.

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Thanks for the like Colleen.

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I am fortunate to have been a caregiver for my parents, and my wife’s parents. I am now past 70, married to a good woman, and a childless only child. No major issues save a struggle with blood pressure and weight. I suffer from major depressive episodes, and medication over the last 30 years is a contributor to the weight issues. I am fortunate to not have many physically debilitating issues, but I’m so fearful of the future. We don’t have funds for assisted living, and my hope we can age in place. The depression just adds. Guess life is one day at a time…any suggestions?

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@elwooodsdad

I am fortunate to have been a caregiver for my parents, and my wife’s parents. I am now past 70, married to a good woman, and a childless only child. No major issues save a struggle with blood pressure and weight. I suffer from major depressive episodes, and medication over the last 30 years is a contributor to the weight issues. I am fortunate to not have many physically debilitating issues, but I’m so fearful of the future. We don’t have funds for assisted living, and my hope we can age in place. The depression just adds. Guess life is one day at a time…any suggestions?

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@elwoodsdad What you say may just be an accurate description of living, a mixture of the good and the bad in different proportions. Your life may be tilted towards difficulties. Everyone needs to have a compelling interest in something outside himself–in that you can (even briefly) look away from your problems and feel your greater value. After a life of so much care-giving, maybe that outside interest should focus on developing your own talents, friendships, or even adventures.

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I certainly did not anticipate being in the condition I am now. I have had to gear way down physically as well as mentally. It has been an adjustment and being limited in what or how much I can do. Endeavoring to keep a positive attitude. Still have struggles with feeling worthless. I know others who are retired and do all kind of things, have lots of friends and family. They travel and have adventures they always wanted to have and go south for the winter. My mind cannot fully grasp how quickly things can change-working on it still.

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@parus Hi it is a big adjustment. I use to be so active but age does this to you when I was 66I moved from Pa to Ca for family Im glad ,I have those memories with my Grandson ,both parents worked so I took care of him now 76 I couldn't do it now Im at a slower pace now You aren't worthless we all have a higher realm in our future concentrate on this when you feel blue Just lately I was at that point but pulled myself together and looked up ,meditation helps took those deep breaths and know Im still alive ,you too!

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@parus

I certainly did not anticipate being in the condition I am now. I have had to gear way down physically as well as mentally. It has been an adjustment and being limited in what or how much I can do. Endeavoring to keep a positive attitude. Still have struggles with feeling worthless. I know others who are retired and do all kind of things, have lots of friends and family. They travel and have adventures they always wanted to have and go south for the winter. My mind cannot fully grasp how quickly things can change-working on it still.

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@parus
Good Morning
I feel your concerns. When I started to read your post, I thought it might have been something I forgot I posted. It sounded so much like something i would write.
I remember being younger and healthier and my hubby telling me I should stop wishing my life away.
I was having such a good time in my personal life that I wished I could retire to have fun all the time.
My hubby was so right. I have been retired 5 years. It's great not having to work not because my life is a blast, but because my health has changed so much that I would have been fired for all the time I would have to take off.
Funny, I had SO much stress with my job, that I couldn't wait until I no longer had to be there. Yet, I think about it all the time and the people I worked with. I dream about it frequently.
After all these years, I am trying to accept and adjust.
I still feel that I'm young and I have to find a way to make the most of my life.
Although I am not where I want to be physically, I have to look at all the ways I am blessed.
I think that is what we have to do in order to make the most of life.

Have a day filled with lots of blessings,
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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