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My mom with dementia moved in with us

Posted by ctracy1027 @ctracy1027, Jul 31 9:08am

We moved my mom, who has dementia, in with us after she had a fall at her own home. We didn't feel that my sister was providing the level of care she needed. Now my mom believes this is her house and that my husband and I should be grateful to her for "helping us out." It's been frustrating, and I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with a similar situation. If so, how did you handle those conversations?

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kjc48 | @kjc48 | 2 days ago
In reply to @judimahoney "@ctracy1027 Hi, not the exact same situation, just advise I keep hearing from the dementia pros:..." + (show)
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@ctracy1027
Hi, not the exact same situation, just advise I keep hearing from the dementia pros: meet them where they are at in their fantasy world. Their brains are working so hard to make sense of this world and everything is jumbled.
So now your home is her home in her mind, so you may want to thank her for letting you live with her. Perhaps compliment her on her color scheme or choice of curtains, whatever just anything to keep the peace since you can't reason with them when they get an idea in their heads; it's real to them.
Hopefully her fantasies are tame and easy to go along with when they happen.
All the best to you. 🌺

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@judimahoney Judi, Ah, leave it to you for that sage suggestion: "Meet them where they are in their fantasy world" and even thank her for the color scheme or choice of curtains. This gave me a chuckle this morning. Wow, now that's adaptability, for sure, with embracing the ups and downs of this disease.
Best, Karla

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annie1946 | @annie1946 | 1 day ago

I am having a lot of trouble with my own anger and impatience with my spouse (MCI). So much repetition. So much forgetfulness. It seems to be worsening. I’m very worried. She is 88 and I am nearly 80. Yet often she is perfectly fine. Mornings are better. Dinner and a movie is better. Visits with friends are better. Lots of people don’t even notice.

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judimahoney | @judimahoney | 1 day ago
In reply to @annie1946 "I am having a lot of trouble with my own anger and impatience with my spouse..." + (show)
Profile picture for annie1946 @annie1946

I am having a lot of trouble with my own anger and impatience with my spouse (MCI). So much repetition. So much forgetfulness. It seems to be worsening. I’m very worried. She is 88 and I am nearly 80. Yet often she is perfectly fine. Mornings are better. Dinner and a movie is better. Visits with friends are better. Lots of people don’t even notice.

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@annie1946
Greetings: I also struggle with my emotions, and have a hard time stopping my own behaviors when I see how I'm responding to my husband's behaviors. When I felt like hitting him one day I decided it was time to start seeing a therapist. This is all so very hard; we need support in all forms. 💔

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annie1946 | @annie1946 | 1 day ago
In reply to @judimahoney "@annie1946 Greetings: I also struggle with my emotions, and have a hard time stopping my own..." + (show)
Profile picture for judimahoney @judimahoney

@annie1946
Greetings: I also struggle with my emotions, and have a hard time stopping my own behaviors when I see how I'm responding to my husband's behaviors. When I felt like hitting him one day I decided it was time to start seeing a therapist. This is all so very hard; we need support in all forms. 💔

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@judimahoney Thanks. I may do that as well. It helps a little just to write it out on this forum. I know this sounds strange, but I would rather she had a physical affliction than this.

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