My friend and support person "quit" me

If I am reading this correctly it sounds like your friend made it clear that she did not want to talk about M's MCI but you really did not want to accept her decision. You said it's your choice but......
You probably meant a lot to her for a long time, but she decided that she wanted to stop talking about it so much. Please don't be angry. We all have to deal with our challenges in the best way that we know how. My husband has Alzheimer's so I understand how difficult things can get. Please forgive your friend and understand that she is trying to cope in the best way that she knows how. Do you know if there is a support group that you could get involved with? Maybe you could make some new friendships.
I am so sorry that you are hurt. It is hard to lose someone that you have been so close to.

@katrina123 You are missing the point. Besides the fact that she lied about not wanting earlier advice, what about the fact that she was also MY support person? I go to a support group, but it's not the same as having someone close to you that you can lean on. I think I have the right to have bad feeling about how she dumped me.

Respect for others decisions is the point.

@ret2tus Losing a close friend hurts. Especially one who you’ve been happy to be there for and to have them be there for you.

Bottom line is you can’t force someone to stay in your life if they don’t want to be in it, especially when you have conflicting views around her husband’s MCI. You’re no longer on the same page and you don’t sound like you have a friendship outside MCI.

I’m so sorry you’re hurt and angry she’s withdrawn from all roles in your life. Unfortunately it sounds like you have to gracefully accept that and be grateful for the times you spent together.

I hope you can find others to support you. Sending you a big hug and wishing you strength to accept this set back and to keep going supporting your husband ❤️‍🩹

It's sure hard, isn't it? It feels like an especially big loss to you, because we all need as much support as we can get.
I had a family member quit me, and I can't stop thinking about it and feeling bad, since it's affecting my relationship with my sister. I know for my own mental health I need to move on, and stop obsessing about why this family member did what he did, and not take it personally.
I had a hippie friend in college and her advice when someone did you wrong was to, 'shine them on'.
So, be your shiny self and seek support elsewhere and know that your friend has their own stuff going on so you have to let them move on.
Take care. 🌹

@judimahoney Thank you so much for understanding. I'm sorry the same thing happened to you and that you're hurting. It does help me that I and my husband have literally moved farther away from my friend. So I am making some new friends and am trying to "shine on" as you suggested

Friendships are complex especially when they are predicated around medical issues for both husbands, etc. First of all, I AM SORRY, that you feel the way you do, and that for whatever reason, she has now decided to stay at arm's length. That's painful, and very personal. And hurtful. About the only thing you can do, because it's obvious her friendship is important to you, is send her a letter, and let her know how YOU feel without having her as a friend. Thank her for the time you've had with her. Who knows, she may circle back, when she has more clarity in what's happening with her own husband. Who knows, maybe the CCRC scared her, maybe the intensity of two friends sharing "too much" information, especially where you are the one further along, and know things "she may not want to hear." If you send her a letter, just share with her how you feel, with her no longer in your life. You formed a friendship, a bond, and tell her how much it meant to YOU to have her in your life. Put no pressure on her. Obviously, the intensity of what was being discussed may have put both her and her husband in denial, but you will never know. If she doesn't circle back, don't be disappointed. That says, she was nothing more than a friend of MCI circumstance, and although helpful at the time, good friendships extend themselves much further than that. Just move on, and know your help didn't fall on deaf ears - she will remember - even though it played out the way it did. Hope this helps.

@isadora2021 You offer good advice that I will have to follow to get past this. However, it is very hard to deal with as she and I had many, many things in common and enjoyed socializing well before our husbands' health issues. So it is a big loss to me in many respects. She has obviously moved on, and I am trying to do that. I do have other friends--just not anyone yet who is as close as she and I once were.

@kjc48 THANK YOU! I may try the letter idea at a later date, I did try telling her via email how much her support meant to me, and I wanted to meet in person to reconcile. But she wasn't ready for that and may never be. But perhaps many months from now, I can write to her and tell her how much I miss her in my life.

I'm 78 and our generation when you're trying to fix something broken, is to send a letter. No email, no text. That doesn't mean your email wasn't good, it just means it gives you the right to follow it up sooner than later with a heartfelt letter. So you could say (and you can tell I'm a mom and grandma, and someone who knows because for 9 years my son, his wife, and i were fractured. I worked hard to figure out the communications and they are back in my life.

This letter is about how you feel, don't use the YOU word on them, use I" - That's about you, and your feelings. So, here's how it could read: Dear so so, I was very hurt when our friendship suddlenly fractured, as you became a very good friend to me, through all of this, and part of my precious support structure. This disease - isn't easy - and with good buddies by our side, you certainly helped to ease my pain. If there is anything I can do for you down the road, please know I'm here for you and would love to have you back in my life.
Always.

Love, etc. Make your letter short, sweet and intentional. And handwrite it don't type it. Yikes I'm showing my age.