Longest Stint as Caregiver

To every caregiver, I will send kind thoughts your way. I was the caregiver for my wife who had Alzheimers Disease for 10 years, 8 years in my home and 2 years in a care center. For Judy and I, it was a very different chapter in our life, not what we had planned, but it was not all bad.
We had lots of help from friends, neighbors, and family. We were prepared before hand when they asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Usually it wasn't just a rhetorical question, they really did want to help. I would suggest when we would appreciate them to visit Judy and be a companion with her while I had appointments or went grocery shopping or other things.
Our town had a local office called Family Caregiver Support Program. I provided good information to me about community resources that were very helpful.
I also made good use of the Visiting Angels visits. Sabrina became a loving caregiver once a week. She called Judy "The Queen" and gave her a "spa treatment" ( a shower with a lotion and special care).
Susie, our next door neighbor, came over once a week for a few hours to be a companion with Judy. They both enjoyed watching "The Great British Baking Show" or other shows.
I benefitted from joining a Caregivers Support Group that met once a month for lunch. At first I got help when I had a new issue that I was dealing with and the group would come up with many ideas of how they had dealt with a similar situation. Often one of the ideas would be of real help to me. Later I was able to help new members of the group because of the years of experience I had had.
I also took advantage of every class for caregivers offered by the local Alzheimers Association office. One session was called "Powerful Tools for Caregivers" and used a book with that title that you can buy from a bookstore or Amazon.
Judy and I had many moments of joy after reading Jolene Brackley's book Creating Moments of Joy. We both enjoyed sitting on the deck, watching the cumulus clouds float by, Canadian geese flying by over the irrigation canal, dogs chasing squirrels, and just enjoying being outside. We enjoyed listening to our favorite music. Sometimes we enjoyed just going our for a ride in the country.
I wish for the best for each of you. Take good care of yourself!

@pchap, just checking in. How are you doing?

You mentioned social isolation. I know talking on a forum might be a poor subsitute. However there are several discussions in the Just Want To Talk forum (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/other/) that offer some social connection depending on your interests. There are discussions about art, books, jokes, favorite sayings. Here are a few examples:
- What's outside of your picture window today?https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/whats-outside-of-your-picture-window-today/
- Share a book or a poem that is especially meaningful to you. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/share-a-book-or-a-poem-that-is-especially-meaningful-to-you/
- How about a laugh, (hopefully) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-about-a-laugh-hopefully/

There are many more and most of them have been active for years. Do you have any interests that you'd like to share with other people? (I know it's hard to have interests and be a full time caregiver.)

@fwentz I read your post, and it's joyful, in the midst of difficult caregiving and this disease. I too am trying to find the good things. you sound like you have more support from friends, than I have at this time. But hopefully, once I move out of the rental, I can land somewhere and it's far more peaceful than it's been. I appreciate your walking us through, the things you took advantage of and did. Helpful for me to know what I don't know. The Moments of Joy you talk about, I'm finding the same with my husband. I love him, and want him to be as happy as he can be for as long as it can be. Thanks for mentioning the powerful tools for caregivers. I will have to look into that. Thanks,

@kjc48 I'm glad my comments were of help to you! I wish the best for you and your husband. Frank