I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.
I’m sorry you feel this way too. My therapist told me today that I may be suffering with PTSD. Never thought about it. For over 9 years I worked an extremely stressful and verbally abusive job. When I suddenly stopped my body didn’t know how to react. We’re going to start digging through this next week. I’ll let you know how it goes.
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@jimhd As we well know there is not a cure. Rough to realize there is nothing a therapist can do either. Seeing one again was not really helping as I was hearing the same thing…use your skills. The combo of pain and depression are discouraging. I try to be positive when I make a comment. Not there this morning. I am the only one who can help “me” and I don’t have the energy nor desire to keep beating my head against an immovable wall. I have an attitude when it comes to therapist’s that I cannot move past. I am aware of this and if a therapist cannot suggest something I have not already tried why bother? I see no future and only another leech on society. Threw my entire life a way pleasing others. What a waste.
There are times when depression reigns. There are no solutions, there is no hope. When a therapist gives up it is serious. Discouraged, old and useless. Not even in self pity. Know there are no solutions. An abusive past that will not be gone from me. No one wants to hear the same thing all the time. There is no forward at this time. Anyone trying to please others-please stop doing so before there is no future.
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Trying to please others doesn’t work.
I’m still learning how to move forward.
Any pointers would be welcome.
Jim
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You are certainly not the only one. So many of us here feel exactly the same way. I admire you for reaching out and joining us. My oldest daughter started with depression & anxiety her senior year. We sent her to several psychiatrists but never helped. Finally we found out she was suffering from Bi-Polar disease. It took awhile to find the right medication for her but eventually we did. Years later my husband was also diagnosed. I’m like you not wanting to do anything and find it very hard to find joy. I tried Wellbutrin but couldn’t take it. Just today I started Lexapro and Remeron. I’ll let know if it helps. I want you to know we are all here for you. You’re welcome to PM me as well.
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I want to add to what Theresa said about CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I’ve read the research that has shown that this seems to be the therapeutic technique/program that has the best results for those with depression. I have had varying levels of severity of depression (major episodes to dysthymia) since I was a teenager and have been in therapy for many, many, years. I have found that CBT works well mostly for persons with single episode depression and those who do not have complicated psychological histories. For me, it is too simple and doesn’t address the underlying issues that “feed” my depression. There are two other programs that can be used in therapy and independently that I just wanted to mention. One is Schema therapy, which was developed based on CBT, but takes it a step further. They say that this is effective with people who have accompanying personality disorders. I don’t have a “full-blown” personality disorder (I haven’t been diagnosed with one), but I do have longstanding psychological issues stemming from childhood and early adulthood experience, which this therapy addresses.
The other program is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It is used for a variety of problems, including something else I deal with, chronic pain. The focus is on acknowledging one’s struggles/problems, etc., learning ways to accept that they are part of your life, then moving on with learning ways to adapt, cope, etc. There is a lot of literature and many publications about this technique.
For those people who do not receive what they need to get well from CBT, I would suggest looking into the “programs” or therapeutic techniques I mentioned above.
All the best to you on your recovery journey!
Sharon
@sharlynn62 Hello Sharon,
Thanks for adding some new ideas beyond CBT. I am interested in finding out more about Acceptance and Commitement Therapy.
Can you share with us about your experience with ACT?
Teresa
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The commitment and acceptance therapy sounds very much like the Mindfulness training nook I have been working through. Meditation to calm, center, and ground yourself. The point is then to accept what is real, don’t let yourself imagine things being any different, especially worse, than reality. It is helping me with my anxiety and a bit with depression.
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@sharlynn62 Chronic depression coupled with chronic pain is a challenge. There are no answers for either.
@jimhd
@parus @kdo0827
It would be great if a cure for depression were discovered. For now, the cure seems to be illusive, and what works for some – well, they’re lucky it works for them. Most of us trudge along, up and down the mountains and mole hills in our way.
Some days aren’t too bad. Today, the sun is shining and it’s too early to do much yard work, though there are always weeds to be dealt with. Trouble is, I don’t feel like moving. Today’s one of my down days. My wife wants to move furniture. Not happening today.
I know various things I’ve been told to do, and they do help some days. Some days, though, curling up in bed is all I’m up to. Like today. The furniture can stay where it is for now.
Tomorrow might be better after I’ve talked with my therapist. But then he’s taking a week vacation.
Jim
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