life after being a caregiver

As i read some of the post i can certainly relate to the frustration, anxiety, guilt, etc... I was a caregiver for my husband who had pancreatic cancer and lived for only 9 months. What makes me upset is people telling me how i should act/feel. I have secluded myself from them, because i didn't want to hear it. People often think they are helping but, i would rather they say nothing. I will never be the same my life is in total turmoil. Being a caregiver was the hardest job i ever had to do, and i would do it all again, through all the mood changes, anger, every time i did something he didn't like i would tell him im sorry and he would say sorry is not good enough. My children kept telling me that's not dad, he doesn't realize what he is saying. I pray often and rely on my faith but my heart is broken and who knows if it will ever heal. Thanks for listening.