Husband refuses to move closer to our family!

Posted by debbiest @debbiest, May 2 2:51pm

Hello. My husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2024, although I saw symptoms several years before that. He has become extremely withdrawn, forgetful, easily agitated, unable to complete familiar tasks. He just can’t seem to “connect the dots”. Can’t keep his appointments straight. He depends on me for so much. He doesn’t use a cell phone or computer, has difficulty navigating the tv streaming. He food shops and comes home with so much that we don’t need or already have.
We moved to Florida from Vermont in 2014. Immediately after moving here, our grown children began to have children. I quickly began to regret the move. He has refused to move back. He says he loves it here in Florida and will never live there again.When I try to talk to him about it, he yells (screams) and tells me to move and he’ll file for divorce ( we’ve been together over 50 years). We do go there every summer for 3 months and rent a place, which has gotten very expensive. I’m so frustrated. He really shouldn’t be on his own, but I feel so trapped and angry. He’s 80 and I’m 74. We belong near our family.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

We go back every summer for 3 months. The first 10 years we drove up in an RV that we would park at our children’s places. The rv is gone ( thank goodness) and we rented an apartment last summer and are doing the same this summer. It’s expensive. Our sons suggest putting up a tiny house or cabin on one of their properties, but I don’t think I could adjust to living in something that small.
Buying something that could be rented out when we’re not there might be a solution for now. I’m finding the trek up north every year harder and harder. Packing up and leaving our home for 3 months is difficult.
We’re not wealthy people, but maybe renting out a place up north while we’re not there would make it doable. Then when it’s time to move permanently, we’d have a place. Thank you for putting the idea in my head and good luck to you!

REPLY
Profile picture for pml @pml

Karla,
I'm so sorry your husband is ill and you have no one to help you care for him. I know it's hard because I had the same situation when I cared for my husband who died of lung cancer in 2024. His children were from another marriage and never visited him before he died. He was 83 whwen he died so all family members were already gone as were close friends. What really helped was prayer. We prayed everyday and God was there for us. My husband lived 14 years with stage 4 cancer. I am so glad that we had those last years together! I miss him terribly but God is here for me. Just ask God for help and you and your husband can get through this difficult time. I'll say a prayer for both of you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

Jump to this post

@pml thank you, Yes, the power of God, in helping us sort through life's complexities. I reach out to him every day. Thank you for your kind, sharing post. Best, Karla

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.