Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing

Posted by civvy @civvy, Mar 7 8:26pm

Spouse diagnosed with MCI and he is in denial that there is any problem. In spite of his forgetting appointments and getting lost
He has had major changes in his personality and is often irritable and hostile.

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@boppi

I learned carrying address and phone numbers when my father was going to daytime adult care in our home city and one day just wanted to go home so he sneakily slipped out without notice and then got lost on what he thought was the way home. A nice young man found him wandering looked in his wallet and brought him to his home where they called us because we had our number but not our home address (don’t ask why, but we never dreamed this would happen)! 25 years later, I will never forget that experience and how thankful I was that there was a nice young man sent by an angel to guard my dad!

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After thought: we had business cards made for dad with his name, address and ALL of our numbers after that experience. It said he was The Chairman of the Board of his company (which he had been) and so it was not embarrassing for him.

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A couple of things I find helpful at home but would be very helpful while traveling.

My husband’s emergency contact on his phone is my name, phone number and address. Anyone can access it if my husband gets lost or hurt.
We also have LIFE360 apps on our Apple phones as long as he has his phone with him, I can see a map of exactly where he and his phone are. It’s helpful if he misplaces it also.

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@trishaanderson

A couple of things I find helpful at home but would be very helpful while traveling.

My husband’s emergency contact on his phone is my name, phone number and address. Anyone can access it if my husband gets lost or hurt.
We also have LIFE360 apps on our Apple phones as long as he has his phone with him, I can see a map of exactly where he and his phone are. It’s helpful if he misplaces it also.

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I looked up Life360 and there are several saying in purchases? Which specific one do you use?

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@boppi

I looked up Life360 and there are several saying in purchases? Which specific one do you use?

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Life360: Find Friends & Family
I'm not sure maybe Gold.
We've had it for years and I haven't really done any changes or research on it. My husband doesn't drive so it's just finding him in our neighborhood.

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@trishaanderson

Life360: Find Friends & Family
I'm not sure maybe Gold.
We've had it for years and I haven't really done any changes or research on it. My husband doesn't drive so it's just finding him in our neighborhood.

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Thanks, mine doesn’t carry his phone very often but always takes his wallet when he leaves the house, haha

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Anosognosia is a symptom that some people with dementia exhibit. It is not that the person is in denial of their diagnosis or the deficits that accompany their condition. They lack awareness or insight into their deficits even as the condition progresses. Although it was more difficult and presented many challenges for me to keep my husband safe, I now view his anosognosia more positively as he does not seem to truly comprehend all that he has lost in mental, physical, and functional ability.

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@boppi

Thanks, mine doesn’t carry his phone very often but always takes his wallet when he leaves the house, haha

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That's sweet, my husband always has his wallet and money clip.
When he gets dress, I say make sure you have your phone in case I need you.
I've also tried the Apple Air Tags; you could put it in his wallet or clip it on his belt loop or belt. They are not that effective on our area, but people put them in their luggage before checking them for travel.

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@scupper

We have a Viking cruise scheduled for next Sept. I go back and forth between canceling or just taking a chance to continue with plans. His dr tells me not to cancel and that if things get worse next fall he will document for us so we can get refunds However, I am nervous about managing the travel to Amsterdam, 2 days alone there and then boarding the boat. He will be fine on the boat because it is a confined space...but he gets confused during transitions...wonder if this long awaited trip is worth it all. Some days and weeks we go along calmly without any particular issues. then, another week will bring big memory issues, angry outburst, confusion...right now I am just postponing a decision. Advice?

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@scupper A Viking cruise would be just wonderful, but maybe too early. We’re been on 2 trips and the confusion is overwhelming at times. Maybe you could plan a trip here in the US so you and he would be able to practice everything. Airports, cabs, getting your bags, eating in strange places, new faces, etc.
Would something like this be doable? Where do you think you could go?

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AQ My Voyages has been perfect for river cruises in the US. The staff is very friendly and accommodating, food and entertainment our age level and they have a hop on hop off bus in every port that takes you from the boat in a continuous circuit to see the sights in the area of each port included in the trip price. It is hard to get lost (as long as you are together). We are from New Orleans and took one on the Mississippi to areas we had already been but the American Queen steamboat was really lovely and a calm, relaxing trip. Look for regular specials they run.

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@boppi

AQ My Voyages has been perfect for river cruises in the US. The staff is very friendly and accommodating, food and entertainment our age level and they have a hop on hop off bus in every port that takes you from the boat in a continuous circuit to see the sights in the area of each port included in the trip price. It is hard to get lost (as long as you are together). We are from New Orleans and took one on the Mississippi to areas we had already been but the American Queen steamboat was really lovely and a calm, relaxing trip. Look for regular specials they run.

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Thanks for this. I was thinking of going on a Viking River cruise but leaving the country would be more stressful than a domestic trip. And keep in mind there are ways to travel the States on guided tours at all price ranges

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