How You Experience Autism

Posted by Ginger, Volunteer Mentor @gingerw, Jan 8, 2020

I came across this article today, posted on The Mighty. I “get” it, as it is familiar to me. How do you react to her vision of the manifestation in her life?
https://themighty.com/2016/04/what-does-autism-feel-like/
Ginger

@mamacita

@auntieoakley, I'm at a loss at how to respond. Today was a long day. I drove my daughter to turn in some paperwork.

She is very ill with so many different, chronic conditions. She will have to go to a nursing home. It takes more than three people to take care of her.

So, I'm not 100% right at the moment. A little tired. Wishing things did not have to be this way.

Thamk you for your input and your support. We are so glad you are here.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita It's a tough decision, and shows your strength indeed. And shows how much you care for the well-being of your daughter, her son, your family, and yourself. There may be those who cannot understand this move. We are here for you, cup of tea or coffee ready to hand you, a cozy blanket to wrap up in.
Ginger

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@mamacita – also thinking of you and your daughter. Have you come to any further decisions on your daughter and her future care?

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@lisalucier

@mamacita – also thinking of you and your daughter. Have you come to any further decisions on your daughter and her future care?

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Happy Sunday, everyone! From Gatlinburg , Tennessee.
Our Wild Women Sisterhood trip to the American Smokies began Friday morning. I am the only Autistic here in our cabin. One Momfriend is a writer. And a mental health advocate.

My daughter is here. The one from Georgia. We have had a ball. We are right on the edge of a little mountain and there are bears here.

My daughter who is,disabled is safely ensconsed in her very own handicap accesible apartment, surrounded by lots of windows streaming sunlight.

She forgot I was in Tennessee and has texted me for things she needs help with. She was provided with a fridge full of food Thursday evening. Flavored water, coffee.

I have had a few moments of not understanding the unspoken rules. It didnt hurt as bad as it did in the early years.

I believe I am quite possibly becoming more resilient. The hurts of the past are not as painful.
I have moved on in so many ways.

So good to see @sirgalahad here!

Welcome everyone. We are glad you are here. And to the Autism Mom at the gas station on the way up here…welcome, friend. We are here for you. You were my checker for a reason. You are not alone. You have power. Your child has mandated rights.

And we are better together.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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this is similar to my life as an autistic .including the physical and emotional and verbal abuse by my father and uncle to cure me and to control me from the view children are seen and never ever heard from being English. I was also buggared by my uncle or sexually abused .i was isolated mocked belittled and retreated to my studies and be a really good student friends were very hard to acquire and even at uni .i was always looking in from the outside and in a song, all my life is a circle .i agree with position we arent a disease and cant be cured by vaccines we are a neurological condition and the comorbidities that form with the extra synapses neurone s change s in biochemistry and constant flooding of the hippocampus and by the adrenal gland hormone epinephrine when we are in constant flight or fright programme

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@sirgalahad

this is similar to my life as an autistic .including the physical and emotional and verbal abuse by my father and uncle to cure me and to control me from the view children are seen and never ever heard from being English. I was also buggared by my uncle or sexually abused .i was isolated mocked belittled and retreated to my studies and be a really good student friends were very hard to acquire and even at uni .i was always looking in from the outside and in a song, all my life is a circle .i agree with position we arent a disease and cant be cured by vaccines we are a neurological condition and the comorbidities that form with the extra synapses neurone s change s in biochemistry and constant flooding of the hippocampus and by the adrenal gland hormone epinephrine when we are in constant flight or fright programme

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My heart goes out to you, understanding many of us have these childhood events in common.

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@as a child, I did not know I was on the Autism Spectrum.

But I cried every time I returned from the home of a certain relative.

I was too sensitive and she was very demanding of me.

She was unaware of how her simple requests tormented me.

She was an older cousin with her own family. My Father must have felt her instructions were good for me.

But when I would stay there for a week in the summer, I would call home and they would come and get me. My Father respected my boundaries. My Mother did not understand. But she stood up for me

Complicated. Musunderstood. Sensitive. Gifted. Kind. But lacking in understanding of unwritten social skills.

My life as an Autie. To this day I cringe if criticized. It hurts me deeply. I can feel and have felt like an utter failure.

I understand logically that this is not how others want me to feel when they need to point something out to me.

I understand it logically, but it still makes me feel like a bumbling nincompoop.

I am getting better at that.

I really am.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@gingerw ….
My daughter and I went to what I refer to as a Wild Woman Sisterhood weekend in Gatlinburg, TN.

She told me I should not have talked about a former relative who is active in restorations and preservation in a neighboring town.

It embarrassed me.

I could not understand how my comment was not relevant or interesting.

My bestie had brought up old houses in Ohio. She had shown pictures of several old homes that were restored.

I was proud of our former relative who has also written a book about the history of that town, and many of the old homes there. She goes to elementary schools snd distributes coloring books to the kids. They learn about the history of their city, thanks to her.

I still dont get it.

I am not boring.

At least I dont think so.

I left rhe room and went to my bedroom.

I tried to figure out what I had done wrong.

Shame. Confusion. It comes and goes.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita

@gingerw ….
My daughter and I went to what I refer to as a Wild Woman Sisterhood weekend in Gatlinburg, TN.

She told me I should not have talked about a former relative who is active in restorations and preservation in a neighboring town.

It embarrassed me.

I could not understand how my comment was not relevant or interesting.

My bestie had brought up old houses in Ohio. She had shown pictures of several old homes that were restored.

I was proud of our former relative who has also written a book about the history of that town, and many of the old homes there. She goes to elementary schools snd distributes coloring books to the kids. They learn about the history of their city, thanks to her.

I still dont get it.

I am not boring.

At least I dont think so.

I left rhe room and went to my bedroom.

I tried to figure out what I had done wrong.

Shame. Confusion. It comes and goes.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Sending you a warm hug and shoulder to lean on.
Did you ask your daughter why she felt that way? I can understand your confusion and hurt. Your comment about your relative sounds like it was part of an interesting conversation. It sounds like she is still walking her path, and has not dropped her robes, so speaking of her accomplishments was a good thing.
Sometimes the most innocent things turn out to be so confusing….
Ginger

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@gingerw

@mamacita Sending you a warm hug and shoulder to lean on.
Did you ask your daughter why she felt that way? I can understand your confusion and hurt. Your comment about your relative sounds like it was part of an interesting conversation. It sounds like she is still walking her path, and has not dropped her robes, so speaking of her accomplishments was a good thing.
Sometimes the most innocent things turn out to be so confusing….
Ginger

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@ginger, yes, I did ask her why I shouldnt have said anything.
She said no one would be interested in our family.
After that, I just didnt say much. It still doesn't make much sense.
Other people can talk about whatever they want, but apparently my family, my little bits of information, are not acceptable.

Is it because they dont know them?
I didnt know the people my friend talked about.
It feels like we are there to serve others, make them feel good, laugh at their jokes, but we do not have the same rights.

I honestly dont get it.

I need to move on. And learn more. Maybe I will find some answers.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@gingerw, perhaps it was my tendency to go a bit long in my storytelling.

I don't know.

Any criticism makes me sad. I know better.

I know I should pay attention when someone is trying to help me.

I think it is just that I was verbally abused so much that nothing ever felt good enough.
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita

@gingerw, perhaps it was my tendency to go a bit long in my storytelling.

I don't know.

Any criticism makes me sad. I know better.

I know I should pay attention when someone is trying to help me.

I think it is just that I was verbally abused so much that nothing ever felt good enough.
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita I was thinking about you situation last night, when there is my brain running like a hamster wheel. I was told long ago that as a communication style, men want to hear a report ["just the facts"], where women want a rapport [establish a relationship]. Perhaps in an effort to fit in at your girls' weekend, you were responding to non-verbal cues, and in the effort to be part of the group, you plunged ahead. This may be what your daughter felt was over-sharing. You wanted to be included in the comraderie. Where does this sit in your soul?
Gentle hugs.
Ginger

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Yup. I plunged ahead alright.
@gingerw Plunged into a pool of awkwardness.

I think I will just take it easy. Calm down
Relax.
Chill.
Limit my verbiage to short bursts.

Not monologues. As I am prone .to do.

Love and light
Mamacita Jane

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