1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 25 11:21am
In reply to @itchyd "I'm really hoping that "NCIS: Drunk and Disorderly in Bayonne" gets picked up for another season." + (show)
@itchyd

I'm really hoping that "NCIS: Drunk and Disorderly in Bayonne" gets picked up for another season.

Jump to this post

I'm a consultant for that show. I will let you know....

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 11:36am
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@nathandavid I think some people are determined to get insulted. I just like finding the humor..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@nathandavid
I think some people are determined to get insulted.
I just like finding the humor in a joke. Even Epilepsy (which I have) jokes.

What do you do when an Epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty clothes.

I posted the following joke on a neighborhood website and got all sorts of flack,

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knive on a date.

Here's another joke I like,

A lady went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist, for some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to kill my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Take care,
Jake

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They busted the epileptic I caught in my tool shed the other night for unreasonable search and seizure.

In explaining to the judge what he was doing there, he pretty much twisted himself into knots.

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samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 25 11:43am
In reply to @nathandavid "This country is just getting more full of human trash." + (show)
@nathandavid

This country is just getting more full of human trash.

Jump to this post

The lunatics have always been around...and in large numbers.

When archeologists were working on the pyramids, they literally found graffiti from some of the building crews.

And, you know, with disgusting jokes...just like today's crowd of Neanderthals.

Nothing has changed. Same old thing. And I don't think the percentages change much.

I think as we get older and learn more, we just realized how many cavemen have always been around.

I think some psych study found that fully 5% of US CEOs qualify as sociopaths.

Makes sense, with the kind of greed they have and the mindless, heartless, vicious decisions they make. Yet some folks still live under the delusion that some of these folks are American heroes or something...when they are actually just con men grifters...at a high level.

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1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 11:59am
In reply to @samcal9977zz "The lunatics have always been around...and in large numbers. When archeologists were working on the pyramids,..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

The lunatics have always been around...and in large numbers.

When archeologists were working on the pyramids, they literally found graffiti from some of the building crews.

And, you know, with disgusting jokes...just like today's crowd of Neanderthals.

Nothing has changed. Same old thing. And I don't think the percentages change much.

I think as we get older and learn more, we just realized how many cavemen have always been around.

I think some psych study found that fully 5% of US CEOs qualify as sociopaths.

Makes sense, with the kind of greed they have and the mindless, heartless, vicious decisions they make. Yet some folks still live under the delusion that some of these folks are American heroes or something...when they are actually just con men grifters...at a high level.

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Before we met, my wife got around and admits she dated her fair share of Neanderthals. She says she didn't mind, as long as they were Neanderthal, dark and handsome.

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1 reply
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 25 12:05pm
In reply to @itchyd "Before we met, my wife got around and admits she dated her fair share of Neanderthals...." + (show)
@itchyd

Before we met, my wife got around and admits she dated her fair share of Neanderthals. She says she didn't mind, as long as they were Neanderthal, dark and handsome.

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I am a former stand-up comedian.

I have to say, that line, "Neanderthal, dark and handsome'

Not joking at all..... That is fully professional comedy there. Fully.

If you can produce stuff like that regularly, you can get work as a comedy writer.

Not joking. I was offered to write comedy for a major Hollywood animated film...not too too long ago. So, while I may not be the best comedian out there, I can recognize top level stuff. And that line is top line stuff.

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2 replies
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 12:25pm
In reply to @samcal9977zz "I am a former stand-up comedian. I have to say, that line, "Neanderthal, dark and handsome'..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

I am a former stand-up comedian.

I have to say, that line, "Neanderthal, dark and handsome'

Not joking at all..... That is fully professional comedy there. Fully.

If you can produce stuff like that regularly, you can get work as a comedy writer.

Not joking. I was offered to write comedy for a major Hollywood animated film...not too too long ago. So, while I may not be the best comedian out there, I can recognize top level stuff. And that line is top line stuff.

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Thanks for your kind words, Jake.

I showed them to my wife and she said to ask you to not encourage me.

Regards.

Itchy

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 25 12:32pm
In reply to @samcal9977zz "I am a former stand-up comedian. I have to say, that line, "Neanderthal, dark and handsome'..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

I am a former stand-up comedian.

I have to say, that line, "Neanderthal, dark and handsome'

Not joking at all..... That is fully professional comedy there. Fully.

If you can produce stuff like that regularly, you can get work as a comedy writer.

Not joking. I was offered to write comedy for a major Hollywood animated film...not too too long ago. So, while I may not be the best comedian out there, I can recognize top level stuff. And that line is top line stuff.

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Apologies for calling you Jake, Samcal.

Been up for better part of two days now ( hitting some mid-air turbulence whilst weaning off of me psych meds).

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1 reply
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 25 1:54pm
In reply to @itchyd "Apologies for calling you Jake, Samcal. Been up for better part of two days now (..." + (show)
@itchyd

Apologies for calling you Jake, Samcal.

Been up for better part of two days now ( hitting some mid-air turbulence whilst weaning off of me psych meds).

Jump to this post

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tim1028 | @tim1028 | Apr 25 11:13pm

Patient: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Patient: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Therapist: Oh, I see!
Patient: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Therapist: Are you ok?

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2 replies
joni1 | @joni1 | Apr 26 10:57am
In reply to @loribmt "😅 Though I actually did have a run-in with quicksand a couple years ago while walking..." + (show)
@loribmt

😅 Though I actually did have a run-in with quicksand a couple years ago while walking along a beach in Florida. Sunk down to my bum! All the childhood memories of watching Roy Rogers with episodes of someone getting sucked down in the mire, only to have Trigger come to the rescue came flooding back! I did remember Roy yelling in the tv show, not to move!! I didn’t move and I didn’t panic. But for me, there was no Trigger or rope!

Thankfully my husband was on firmer footing next to me. He only sunk to mid calf and was able to then slowly work me out of the sand. The force of the suction of the quicksand was incredible! I’ve never had anything pull me that hard from both directions. It took a couple minutes to finally get free! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I have to admit I was getting a little anxious. There were other people on the beach running to the rescue but stopped short of helping because my husband’s efforts were working.

While trying to extricate me, my husband, either trying to reassure me or himself, told me, ‘No one dies on the beach from quicksand.” Small comfort to read later that, indeed, people DO disappear completely in some of these episodes. I was then instructed to “wear a hat” next time I’m at the beach so people know where I went down! 😂. True story!

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Thank God you stayed in place and your Hubby was right there to get you out.

That certainly would be scary.

So glad you’re ok.

Joni

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