How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Jake @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Profile picture for Lori, Volunteer Mentor @loribmt

😅 Though I actually did have a run-in with quicksand a couple years ago while walking along a beach in Florida. Sunk down to my bum! All the childhood memories of watching Roy Rogers with episodes of someone getting sucked down in the mire, only to have Trigger come to the rescue came flooding back! I did remember Roy yelling in the tv show, not to move!! I didn’t move and I didn’t panic. But for me, there was no Trigger or rope!

Thankfully my husband was on firmer footing next to me. He only sunk to mid calf and was able to then slowly work me out of the sand. The force of the suction of the quicksand was incredible! I’ve never had anything pull me that hard from both directions. It took a couple minutes to finally get free! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I have to admit I was getting a little anxious. There were other people on the beach running to the rescue but stopped short of helping because my husband’s efforts were working.

While trying to extricate me, my husband, either trying to reassure me or himself, told me, ‘No one dies on the beach from quicksand.” Small comfort to read later that, indeed, people DO disappear completely in some of these episodes. I was then instructed to “wear a hat” next time I’m at the beach so people know where I went down! 😂. True story!

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Maybe you should start carrying an avalanche beacon when you sunbathe.

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Profile picture for itchyd @itchyd

Fun fact:

Roy Rogers had PTSD, so Dale Evans got him a new horse to stop the Trigger-ing events.

But, as it happened, it didn't a-mount to a cure.

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Whoa, there! Time to rein in some of those puns!! LOL.

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Profile picture for shirleyrawlins @shirleyrawlins

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

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I save on the cost of baked goods by buying the day-old stuff.

Some folks say that I suffer from existential bread.

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Profile picture for Lori, Volunteer Mentor @loribmt

Whoa, there! Time to rein in some of those puns!! LOL.

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Scott loves horse jokes, and if we don't keep them coming, equines about it.

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Profile picture for Jake @jakedduck1

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

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Jake:

From the way it's written, I think Covidstinks' kitty has a toy that tweets.

If not, I have the same question. Did the tweet-tweet live to retweet?

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Profile picture for samcal9977zz @samcal9977zz

I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard Oil, but they keep changing their name to avoid prosecution.

Did you hear?

The economy is so bad that the Mafia just fired three judges in Jersey City.

++++

By the way, speaking of NJ...Santa just got arrested, again, drunk and disorderly in Bayonne, NJ

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I'm really hoping that "NCIS: Drunk and Disorderly in Bayonne" gets picked up for another season.

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Profile picture for shirleyrawlins @shirleyrawlins

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

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Problems that are overblown:

Cowlicks, TNT, spitty old harmonicas.

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Profile picture for Jake @jakedduck1

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

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Yes! It was his toy bird that "tweets". Sorry, I didn't make that clear Jake. Blessings...

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Folks who buy their concert pianos at IKEA are
self-aggrandizing.

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Profile picture for Jake @jakedduck1

@nathandavid
I think some people are determined to get insulted.
I just like finding the humor in a joke. Even Epilepsy (which I have) jokes.

What do you do when an Epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty clothes.

I posted the following joke on a neighborhood website and got all sorts of flack,

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knive on a date.

Here's another joke I like,

A lady went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist, for some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to kill my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Take care,
Jake

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Not sure if I replied already but that Pharmacy joke is PERFECT!!! Thanks.

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