How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 24 7:58am

In reply to @kamama94 "Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives, of course." + (show)

Noah was a fan of The Bard:

"Two bees, or not two bees, O' Lord?"

samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 24 8:51am

In reply to @itchyd "I hear that Joyzee cops are now required to perform cavity searches during all routine arrests..." + (show)

True Tales from New Jersey

My friend Bob is completely smashed, driving home.

Pulls up toward a red light and makes a whoopsie...hits the car in front of him.

And...it's a cop car.

So, .....they arrest him.

They put him in the backseat and go back to do some paperwork.

When they return, Bob is in the backseat, drunk as a fish, handcuffed...and completely laughing his head off.

The cop looks at Bob and goes, "just what the heck are you laughing at?"

Bob: (Laughing) "I can't believe I hit a cop car!!!"

++++

more tales from NJ. Man gets angry. Man loses it. Man drives his car into the lobby of the police station, with "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses blasting from his speakers.

All caught on tape:

Man crashes vehicle into police station while blasting Guns N' Roses, police say:

shirleyrawlins | @shirleyrawlins | Apr 24 2:12pm

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

covidstinks2023 | @covidstinks2023 | Apr 24 7:37pm

How about a laugh...hopefully. You have got to laugh at yourself. Please, no offense to be taken at this if you wear hearing aids.

I got hearing aids a few months ago. They are wonderful...but, a booger to get use too!!

My hearing aids will squeal when someone hugs me, so I had an adjustment done.

I was in the laundry room and I was hearing a "tweeting" sound. I thought, "Oh, my word, now my hearing aids are tweeting!".

Wait for it.....My cat was bringing me his little bird that tweets and dropped it at my feet.

I laughed until I cried at my silly self and was glad it was the cat and not my hearing aids.

The older I get, the more I have to laugh at myself! I hope all you precious folks will do the same.

Blessings & Prayers to All.....

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Apr 25 4:13am

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Apr 25 6:10am

In reply to @shirleyrawlins "Problems that are overblown: --quicksand --people offering me drugs --getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle Problems..." + (show)

😅 Though I actually did have a run-in with quicksand a couple years ago while walking along a beach in Florida. Sunk down to my bum! All the childhood memories of watching Roy Rogers with episodes of someone getting sucked down in the mire, only to have Trigger come to the rescue came flooding back! I did remember Roy yelling in the tv show, not to move!! I didn’t move and I didn’t panic. But for me, there was no Trigger or rope!

Thankfully my husband was on firmer footing next to me. He only sunk to mid calf and was able to then slowly work me out of the sand. The force of the suction of the quicksand was incredible! I’ve never had anything pull me that hard from both directions. It took a couple minutes to finally get free! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I have to admit I was getting a little anxious. There were other people on the beach running to the rescue but stopped short of helping because my husband’s efforts were working.

While trying to extricate me, my husband, either trying to reassure me or himself, told me, ‘No one dies on the beach from quicksand.” Small comfort to read later that, indeed, people DO disappear completely in some of these episodes. I was then instructed to “wear a hat” next time I’m at the beach so people know where I went down! 😂. True story!