How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

@scottrl

Bigfoot bagged, on cover of Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine!

Jump to this post

That's Bigfoot bagged, with a twist!

REPLY

To be told, "The Earth was created in just 7 days, or only one week!",
is to be tautologically taught illogically.

REPLY
@kamama94

A policeman called a station on his radio and said, "I'm investigating a case where a woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

The announcer asked, "Have you arrested her?"

"Not yet," the cop answered. "The floor's still wet."

Jump to this post

This joke is beyond the pail .... and just doesn't wring true.

... but, it floored me!

Good one, kamama!

REPLY
@scottrl

Bigfoot bagged, on cover of Texas Parks & Wildlife magazine!

Jump to this post

I originally gave you a " Liked" and a "Hugged", but I'm taking the "Hugged" back, because I asked for paper and you gave me plastic.

Sorry, Scott.

REPLY

Doctor Joke:

Elisabeth Kubler Ross and Socrates were having a drink and she tried explaining her concept that the dying experience their emotional suffering in five distinct stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance.

He said, "I ain't buying it, lady. It's ALL grief, to me."

Then, she said, "You mean "Greek"".

He said, "No ... I mean grief."

Then, she said, "But, don't you mean that it's all Greek to you?"

And, he said, "No, what I mean is that it's all ... uh, ... its all ..... Oh, whatever, Liz. It's all good."

And she said, "It's all good? What does that mean? Grief's good?

And he said, "Oh, GOOD GRIEF!"

This went on 'til after bar time.

REPLY

Doctor Joke:

Q: What's the difference between the Starship Enterprise and a sheet of toilet paper?

A: Nothing. They both circle Uranus, searching for Klingons.

(It might be a stretch, but, because "Bones" McCoy was on board, I consider this a doctor joke.)

REPLY
In reply to @kamama94 "Hilarious!" + (show)
@kamama94

Hilarious!

Jump to this post

Glad you had fun with them! Have a nice day!

REPLY

a few more doctor Jokes:

A woman calling Massachusetts General Hospital says, “Hello, I want to know if there’s any sign that a patient is improving at all.”

The receptionist asks, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”

“Of course,” the woman replied, “Sarah Finkel, Room 304.”

The receptionist responds by saying, “Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, if her blood pressure continues to improve like it is then Dr. Cohen is looking to send her home on Tuesday!”

“That’s fantastic,” the woman replied, “oh, I’m so thrilled!”

“From your enthusiasm, I figure you must be a close family member?”

The woman replied, “I’m Sarah Finkel in 302! Dr. Cohen doesn’t tell me a word.”

++++

Patient: "What's my life expectancy?"

Doctor: "120."

Patient: "120 what? Days? Weeks? Months?"

Doctor: "119..."

++++

A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”

“Oh no, honey, are you OK? What happened?”

“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”

++++

How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?

That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance.

++++

Why do surgeons wear masks?

So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake.

++++

Patient: “Doctor, are the test results ready yet? I’m dying of curiosity!”

Doctor: “uh… Not from curiosity.”

+++

Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”

Jimmy: “That’s great!”

Doctor: “well…..A horse with kidney stones.”

REPLY

Don't know if there are any other old-fart techies out there that might appreciate this, but here goes:

One of my favorite cracks came from an instrumentation technician that I used to work with. We'd occasionally compare notes about our humor preferences and, in one, he said that Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor were the most foul-mouthed standups, but he considered Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield to be the baudiest. I was thinking to myself, "What's the difference?" and was getting ready to call him out on his spelling when I finally got his joke (In the telecommunications trade, baud is a unit of transmission speed, measured in
bits-per-second).

REPLY

Read in another group.
What did one toilet say to the other??? You looked flushed!!!

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.