How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@2011panc

Little Billy brought his Christmas art project home from school. Of course a big deal was made of it by all the relatives over the holiday gatherings. At every gathering he had to answer questions about his picture for what he thought were endless hours. By the time Grandmother and Grandfather came he was fed up. So, when Mother (again) brought his picture he jumped in and said, "Okay! We were told to draw a picture of what Christmas meant to us and every one we remember that should be in the picture. So I drew a manger with Joseph, Mary and Jesus in the manger. I added a cow, donkey, camel and straw. Then I added a bright star in the sky, the three wise men and their gifts, and angels singing above the stable. I added Round John, and that was all I could remember to put on. My teacher said I did a very good job but thought I should not have added Round John. Every time I have to explain this I get told I should have left Round John out, but I know he was there from the song that goes: 'Round John Virgen Mother and Child'."

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@2011panc

Love it! Reminds me of the kids singing “star strangled banana” in our national anthem.

FL Mary

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@imallears

@2011panc

Love it! Reminds me of the kids singing “star strangled banana” in our national anthem.

FL Mary

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@2011panc I was just talking to my husband, and asking him about going to some of the community events in the next few days in this new-to-us little town. Tomorrow night is The Unofficial Christmas parade with the the water tender from the rural Fire Department being strung with lights, and leading Santa Claus in to town at 6 p.m. . It may or may not be raining then, but it seems like everyone comes out for it! At least it won't be snow until a few days from now. I love to watch little ones as they belt out the holiday carols
Ginger

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@becsbuddy

Where do you all find these jokes?!

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@becsbuddy I listen, always have. I identify with all the stages of birth order, but among my siblings I was the entertainer. Two siblings were great workers but horrible students. Two were good in sports but mean-spirited. One was a diva and took credit whenever possible for my accomplishments,

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@becsbuddy

Where do you all find these jokes?!

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@becsbuddy I got a lot from on here but we have a jokester where I live and got a lot from him also I don't remember jokes so have to write them all down

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It's the Christmas season and I was feeling charitable last night as I was returning from Mother's Christmas party at the nursing home. This guy was just standing outside our house with only a scarf on. I know it was 40 degrees during the day, but nights get cold. So I brought him in and gave him a place to rest and warm up in our family room. I gave him something to eat too. He was kind of portly through his trunk, but his arms were like sticks. This morning I got up early to make sure he got some hot foot and coffee to start the day, but he was gone! And how rude of him to leave a mess in the family room. He must have been too afraid to use our bathroom, because he apparently peed all over the floor. He even left his scarf! I was so mad! I grumbled all the time I spent cleaning up after this guy. I'm thinking . . . never again, but I know I might cave.

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Hi All

For those of you who like to laugh (or wish you did), I listened to this TED talk and I think you will all enjoy it as well. Take a listen,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2qM1I-JCEQ&t=3s

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Mama Bull, Papa Bull and Baby Bull were all in the pasture on a pleasant spring day. Mama and Papa Bull were munching contentedly on the spring clover while Baby Bull ran around jumping, turning and kicking between bites of the tender spring clover. Soon enough Baby Bull fell down and started crying. Who went to take care of him?

Papa Bull.

Why?

There is no such thing as a Mama Bull. Bulls are male.

Liked by lioness, Leonard

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@2011panc

Mama Bull, Papa Bull and Baby Bull were all in the pasture on a pleasant spring day. Mama and Papa Bull were munching contentedly on the spring clover while Baby Bull ran around jumping, turning and kicking between bites of the tender spring clover. Soon enough Baby Bull fell down and started crying. Who went to take care of him?

Papa Bull.

Why?

There is no such thing as a Mama Bull. Bulls are male.

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2011panc I like that one LOL

Liked by Leonard

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Toby, the vegetable vender and Mary, the melon vender had places near each other at the fair each weekend. As was the custom in that town, near the end of the day the vendors would swap their remaining products among themselves. Throughout the summer Toby and Mary became friendly with each other and visited between customers. On the last day of the summer fair Toby took a basket of vegetables that he knew her family liked over to Mary's table. Mary also had put together a basket of melons for Toby that she knew his family liked.
Toby offered first, picking up a bunch of handpicked greens he held them out and said, "Lettuce, Mary?"
Mary responded by offering a large melon and saying, "Cantaloupe, Toby!"

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@2011panc

Toby, the vegetable vender and Mary, the melon vender had places near each other at the fair each weekend. As was the custom in that town, near the end of the day the vendors would swap their remaining products among themselves. Throughout the summer Toby and Mary became friendly with each other and visited between customers. On the last day of the summer fair Toby took a basket of vegetables that he knew her family liked over to Mary's table. Mary also had put together a basket of melons for Toby that she knew his family liked.
Toby offered first, picking up a bunch of handpicked greens he held them out and said, "Lettuce, Mary?"
Mary responded by offering a large melon and saying, "Cantaloupe, Toby!"

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@2011panc Very good! I had to read the last line twice before I got it.

Liked by lioness, Leonard

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a frog?

A bunny ribbit.

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After the prom, Tom and Sue were walking home. It was so late/early that the dew was starting to show on the grass. Tom was so smitten he could barely think of anything to say. Finally he looked up and said, "Some sky." Sue also looked up and replied, "Yes, some sky." A little later Tom looked around and said, "Some night." Sue also looked around and replied, "Yes, some night." They were nearing Sue's house when Tom looked down, kicked at the lawn and said, "Some dew." Sue quickly responded, "I don't!"

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@2011panc

After the prom, Tom and Sue were walking home. It was so late/early that the dew was starting to show on the grass. Tom was so smitten he could barely think of anything to say. Finally he looked up and said, "Some sky." Sue also looked up and replied, "Yes, some sky." A little later Tom looked around and said, "Some night." Sue also looked around and replied, "Yes, some night." They were nearing Sue's house when Tom looked down, kicked at the lawn and said, "Some dew." Sue quickly responded, "I don't!"

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Thanks @201panc that was a good one. I couldn’t quite get the veggie vendor joke.
Jake

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@jakedduck1

Thanks @201panc that was a good one. I couldn’t quite get the veggie vendor joke.
Jake

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@jakeduck1

Hi Leonard, The vegetable vendor joke….Toby was asking Mary to marry him when he held out a bunch of greens (in lieu of flowers) and said Let us Mary? (Lettuce) Mary said I can’t elope (cantaloupe).

Someone correct me if I’m wrong.

Florida Mary the vegetable lover.

Liked by lioness, Leonard

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@2011panc

Toby, the vegetable vender and Mary, the melon vender had places near each other at the fair each weekend. As was the custom in that town, near the end of the day the vendors would swap their remaining products among themselves. Throughout the summer Toby and Mary became friendly with each other and visited between customers. On the last day of the summer fair Toby took a basket of vegetables that he knew her family liked over to Mary's table. Mary also had put together a basket of melons for Toby that she knew his family liked.
Toby offered first, picking up a bunch of handpicked greens he held them out and said, "Lettuce, Mary?"
Mary responded by offering a large melon and saying, "Cantaloupe, Toby!"

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@2011panc Love it!!!

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