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alfromdc

help with dealing with people with personality disorders

Posted by @alfromdc in Mental Health, May 11, 2012

Looking for help with dealing with people with personality disorders. I have two teenage daughters and I believe their mom has a personilty disorder.. going thru a difficult time after a divorce

Tags: mental health

Roxie43 likes this
jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 11, 2012

that is very very tough on everyone involved, and I went thru it at age 4 and believe thats when I develop my personality disorder. I don't know the best solutions but I can maybe help you learn a few dos and don'ts because for a long time my mothers help hurt WAYYYYYY worse, finally she has learned how to approach, but my biggest advice is never make her feel like her thoughts or worries are not important

findingdatruth

Posted by @findingdatruth, May 13, 2012

Walking on eggshells! That is what it's like. I agree bad for all.

Anonymous likes this
lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 13, 2012

I think there is a book called walking on eggshells that is for family/friends of personality disordered people.

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

what a perfect description... my girlfriend was on her way over and I called and said ya, um maybe bad night... She said is it pretty bad, i answered yes, she said Well call if you need me, I will try again in the morning... I hate that I can feel it boiling but so afraid I wont be able to stop from exploding for no reason but I found a girl that knows when I need time alone because I do not like to take anyone down with me

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

Hi It's good that you have someone who understands where you coming from.Are you okay. I.m always here if you need me Piglit

Anonymous likes this
jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

ya well just 7posted the situation on another thread, just got informed of 2 ime the insurance com7pany sending me to, and never had one, just stressed and just don't wanna put myself in a situation that sends me off into the bottomless pit. Its strange the more I have learned the more I can see 7patterns or something but I just am being cautious

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

You know the old saying throw caution to the wind. Just take things slowly don't jump the hurdles before you come to them. It will be okay and everything will work out. By the way how's your little guy going, he will always bring you sunshine Talk soon Piglit

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

that is the issue I am having I believe, since its mothers day our routine changes and I normally have him right now, he is such a awesome kid but I am trying to find more ways to cope I think its unfair of me to rely so much on him

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

Hi you don't rely on him you just love him and miss him when he's not there. Your a great Dad and he'd be thinking of you too. It's fine to feel this way and only natural

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

he was by far the best mistake I ever made, don't know where I would be without him

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

No mistake was made this dear lttle dude has brought joy and love to your world and they are so precious

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

yes you are so right

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

You know there's nothing quite like the bond between a Dad and a son. You are such a great Dad and he know's it. You'll always be his Dad and as he gets older his Dad and his very best friend, cherish this I know that you will

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 17, 2012

I have daughters but a grandson that I adore. Take good care of yourself.
Rox

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

thankyou for the encouragement

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 17, 2012

That is beautiful! Good father ...

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 14, 2012

just very eager/nervous/scared for my 4 hour assessment on Thursday... wonder what he labels me lol

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 14, 2012

Hey he shouldn't label you anything Only natural to feel the way you do. 4 hours is a longtime but it will go quicker than you think once you get started. Ask for a coffee midway through that should break the mood a bit lol

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

Well, it went well, the doctor was really easy to communicate with. I don't get feedback tell his report comes back, he said probably the following Thursday. took about 5 hours, and at the end I took a 587 question personality test, seem very thorough but It was not something I expected or even heard about. I really feel he was thorough enough that I can accept what ever he thinks… just a label anyways but maybe I will be able to figure out what ever I am not doing right to get control. Very Hope-full He gave me a 15 minute break about halfway, great doctor

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

Hi Js really great that it went so well for you and that you got a break as well that makes a difference.Alot of questions. Really proud of you. So glad that he was a great doctor that makes a difference doesn't it Piglit

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

how's your little dude going. Still puts a smile on you face each and everyday

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

well took him to his moms this afternoon, and going to pick him back up tomorrow, 🙂 its probably not common but he doesn't like going to his moms, but going to try and get us some state assistance tommorow morning, should have a long time ago but can't put it off anymore, realized my pride was getting in the way of our best interests... 🙂 dare I say it, I may actually be maturing lol 🙂

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

You know we always have to bite the bullett as the old age saying goes at times.It is a good decision for you and little dude. How's he going, still lighting up your life.

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

Bite the Bullet, thats a great saying that I have not heard in a while. just like "put the pedal to the metal", both of these I will be trying to use more, it throws off the more "mature" or aged people I communicate with... since I shaved my head and facial hair, I at times look about 12 LOL , yes I am easily entertained these days

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

Ther'e great sayings aren't they You know I'm nearly 55 and feel 18 inside, So i go as the title of a re-cyled teenager / At least your entertainment comes cheap lol. By the way how old are you if you don't mind me asking.

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

very true, when the doctor shows a little passion towards their job and really helps you open up, it just has a better chance at successfully figuring out some of my struggles and maybe find a way to make things go a little easier, I am not asking for much, just a little easier would really be helpful 🙂 Thanks for the support

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

you know when you have a dr like this it's so great for you. I'm sure that he will help to make things easier for you. Always here if you need me anytime

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

thank you!! means a lot

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

No worries that's what friends are for

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

How are you doing?? Anything giving you a hard time? 🙂

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 21, 2012

Just a few ups and downs with my leg but back at work tommorrow. Just taking each day as it comes and staying positive. Thanks for caring

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 17, 2012

How did it go? Or have you gone yet?
Take care
Rox

jsparks

Posted by @jsparks, May 21, 2012

Well, it went well, the doctor was really easy to communicate with. I don't get feedback tell his report comes back, he said probably the following Thursday. took about 5 hours, and at the end I took a 587 question personality test, seem very thorough but It was not something I expected or even heard about. I really feel he was thorough enough that I can accept what ever he thinks... just a label anyways but maybe I will be able to figure out what ever I am not doing right to get control. Very Hope-full

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 13, 2012

One of the best methods for dealing with personality disorders is DBT- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This therapy helps the individual learn techniques to cope with stressor's by learning to recognize stimuli that triggers unhealthy responses as well as emotion regulation. Has she been diagnosed with an Axis II or is she just being labeled?
Persons with personality disorders often have a history of trauma. Is she in treatment?
If not, nicely encouraging treatment may help. Also, don't fall into the trap of having your buttons pushed which can be very easy to do. Some fear abandonement an a divorce can feel as such..
Take care,
Rox

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