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Bettering myself or isolation?
I’ve been trying this thing lately. No social media. Little to no contact with friends or maybe I’ll talk to for a bit but it’s surface level. I try my best not to talk about my mental health or anything bad I’m feeling because it’s draining for them and I know how I get when I start to talk about it. It’s all i ever talk about. Or at least that’s how it feels. I feel a bit clear headed but I just feel so lonely and I don’t know how to make it go away without breaking the rules I have set for myself currently. I’ve been telling myself it’s apart of the process and I’ll get over it but it’s been almost three weeks. I still feel lonely and I still feel depressed to some extent.
I have my therapists number but I don’t want to worry her. I don’t really want to talk to anyone about the way I’m feeling and the things I’m thinking. I’ve told everyone nothing but good things about how I’m doing and I’ve been more present and happy lately as I’ve been unable to the past few months. But I just feel extremely lonely. And I don’t want to bother anyone with my sadness. My best friends say I’m sad all the time and I seem like a shell of myself and they miss me before my depression. Although it’s true and I miss how I used to be too, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. I’m trying to find myself again but I can’t. I’m afraid everyone will eventually leave me because of my mental health and then I’ll truly be alone then. Maybe I’m going the wrong way about this. I don’t know if I’m just isolating myself or if this is just a rough patch in getting better.
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@justagirlwhoyaps here at Mayo Clinic Connect you will find many people to “talk” with on any number of subjects because there is a discussion group for every illness, as well as a group if you “just want to talk” (I believe that is the name of the group) and there is also a group to share jokes. So … you are at the right place and you need not feel so lonely. You can “socialize” here as and when you want, in any space, at your pace.
As for your best friends … if they truly are your best friends they still will be there when you are ready to socialize in person. If they are gone, they weren’t your true friends anyway.
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3 ReactionsIt is totally understandable that when your mind is constantly preoccupied with mental health struggles, that is all you really want to talk about. Because it really is all consuming. However if it feels like you’re over-engaging in it, maybe try to find a point of connection that is not related to mental health, rather than avoiding or sugar coating the topic.
For example, can you see a movie with your friends and go for ice cream afterwards- natural way to discuss the movie or other movies.
Can you attend some kind of sporting event, professional or at school, and that is a good way to talk about that sports, previous fun games you’ve attended, future games you’d like to see.
A book club where the whole purpose is to discuss the book.
This way you are out engaging with people - not isolating - and you have plenty of things to talk about. It’s not about avoiding big topics but not every convo has to be deep, it’s totally good and normal to discuss silly stuff even when you’re down. And connecting over silly stuff like who dips their hot dog in a slushie, makes it easier to open up over the tough stuff when you really need that support.
Connecting with people is such a difficult task, even more so when you are not feeling well. I hope you will try to keep connecting with those around you. You never know, maybe your openness will inspire someone else who feels the same way to open up to you.
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