Do you feel lonely because of social restraint?

Posted by Merry, Volunteer Mentor @merpreb, Sat, Jan 26 10:20am

I was just thinking of topics for this group and I got an email from Cure Magazine. This title is "Loneliness, Social Constraints"
BY Brielle Benyon
PUBLISHED January 23, 2019

I have recently been soul searching for reasons why, at times, I have felt isolated and lonely during my lung cancer journey. Is this imposed on me due to society's constraints or because of my preconceived notions about lung cancer, treatments, physicians, hospitals, medicine?
I felt very very embarrassed that I had lung cancer back in the late 1900's. People didn't hesitate to speak out in a negative, rather than supportive manner.
Have you felt like this at all? What have your experiences been? Has your family been supportive or have they expressed unrealistic expectations from the medical field? What have your expectations been that didn't turn out the way you wanted?

This is not about health insurance or legal problems.

Merry, I've been fortunate that no one has reacted in a negative manner. I do think there have been some who have done the avoidance thing, but I know I've been that way with people because I've been unsure what to say. I actually think everyone's habit of texting has helped, because it has made it a bit less uncomfortable for people to check in that way when they're unsure. (And, once the ice is broken it's easier for one or the other to say "I'll call you now.") But, if you're feeling isolated do you have the access/ability to get to something like the Livestrong programs offered at some YMCAs (or, if not, maybe a nearby SilverSneakers program? ) I've found the structure along with the good-naturedness of the people who attend classes like this to be very uplifting, even if I don't exchange more than a few pleasantries with a neighboring participant before or after. When I was recuperating from surgery my regular instructor suggested the Silver Sneakers classes and only the instructor knew why I was attending. Once my surgery healed and then I wrapped up chemo my PA at Mayo said cardio was the best thing I could do for my lungs, so I got more conscientious about finding classes. For the first time in my life instead of looking for reasons to not go I'm depending on them for both the physical and mental lift, and the break from responsibilities and sometimes life's aggravations (both self-inflicted and otherwise).

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The pulmonary rehab classes I go to has a number of lung cancer patients and survivors. I feel they are happy to be able to discuss their disease with people who understand and care. You might talk to your pulmonologist about getting into a class (if you can). I have COPD and have met a number of great people there.

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@annhd1420 , @bluelagoon– I wasn't try and garner sympathy but start a discussion about what constraints that society places on us that can make us feel lonely. I've edited a bit, does it make more sense or should I take it down?

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I fully understand where you are coming from. I was just suggesting a place where I found support and help.

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@merpreb

@annhd1420 , @bluelagoon– I wasn't try and garner sympathy but start a discussion about what constraints that society places on us that can make us feel lonely. I've edited a bit, does it make more sense or should I take it down?

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@merpreb @annhd1420 I believe I was in the same zone as Ann. I didn't think you were looking for sympathy at all. But, when I got to thinking through it I realized the group exercise outlet really kept me from even giving thought to the people I hadn't heard from or irritated me along the way. I'm thinking that's partly because of the physical aspect and partly because the people in class are, in a sense, neutral parties/fellow journeyers. So, I might have skipped over the constraints aspects but hopefully this will help someone else who wasn't aware of these outlets.

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@annhd1420

I fully understand where you are coming from. I was just suggesting a place where I found support and help.

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@annhd1420– Great- I have done pulmonary rehab and still use the gym!

Liked by annhd1420

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