.harp player
@amberpep
@amberpep
Posts: 759
Joined: Jul 02, 2012
~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~
I’m 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I’m just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don’t have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there’s not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there’s enough), and my son sends me money each month. I’m sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I’m thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I’d have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they’re all on line now), and legally they’re not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I’m so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby
Liked by lioness, Merry, Volunteer Mentor, mattrix169, melaunie
dianrib
@dianrib
@dianrib
Posts: 187
Joined: Jun 04, 2018
@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger
What No use he is a abuser Will NOT sto-p
Liked by smilie
smilie
@smilie
@smilie
Posts: 134
Joined: Jan 11, 2017
@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger
Hi Ginger, I’m almost broke because of my ex husband, he kept taking away money from me and to this day I don’t know how, plus, are you ready for this and are you sitting down, we had no sex life for 12 years. Can you figure that one out?
smilie
@smilie
@smilie
Posts: 134
Joined: Jan 11, 2017
smilie
@smilie
@smilie
Posts: 134
Joined: Jan 11, 2017
I married at 16 Bad idea Found my true love when I was 20 Howard Great guy Gone miss him so much RIP 2010
I’m sorry for your loss! May I ask why you got married so young?
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
@gingerw
@gingerw
Posts: 3143
Joined: Jul 26, 2018
I was married twice, how stupid, and they were both abusive. I discovered that they had some similar characteristics.
@smilie Sometimes we do not see how someone is until we get close to them. Sometimes they feel they have us "over a barrel" after marriage or commitment, so they can treat us however they want. It is up to us to stop the abuse. I'm not saying it is easy, it isn't. But for our sanity and safety, we have to, by whatever means.
Ginger
Liked by smilie
kimspr3
@kimspr3
@kimspr3
Posts: 278
Joined: Jun 01, 2019
kimspr3
@kimspr3
@kimspr3
Posts: 278
Joined: Jun 01, 2019
@smilie Sometimes we do not see how someone is until we get close to them. Sometimes they feel they have us "over a barrel" after marriage or commitment, so they can treat us however they want. It is up to us to stop the abuse. I'm not saying it is easy, it isn't. But for our sanity and safety, we have to, by whatever means.
Ginger
You are so right, Ginger
Liked by Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
kimspr3
@kimspr3
@kimspr3
Posts: 278
Joined: Jun 01, 2019
Hi Ginger, I’m almost broke because of my ex husband, he kept taking away money from me and to this day I don’t know how, plus, are you ready for this and are you sitting down, we had no sex life for 12 years. Can you figure that one out?
I had a nice inheritance. Father, brother, NO joint account. I felt guilty not having a joint account in quite a few areas. Took interest without me knowing. I always paid the bills, stopped. WHAT A FOOL I AM. I go to back one account, Empty!!!!! I was so, I don't know, started crying in the bank. Manager told me, no joint account. I changed everything. TRUST, I was warned. I needed my father and brother they died 2 yrs a part. Also, he is not in my Will.
Liked by dianrib
smilie
@smilie
@smilie
Posts: 134
Joined: Jan 11, 2017
dianrib
@dianrib
@dianrib
Posts: 187
Joined: Jun 04, 2018
Hi, this is my third marriage, 2 physically, verbally abusive, now 2 people in 1 body. always needed love and to be Validated. Too late now.
many women have that ptoblm Low self esteem ? Who knows Take care
dianrib
@dianrib
@dianrib
Posts: 187
Joined: Jun 04, 2018
I’m sorry for your loss! May I ask why you got married so young?
Pregnant but after all this time I am happy to have my 2 sons They are so good to me
dianrib
@dianrib
@dianrib
Posts: 187
Joined: Jun 04, 2018
I had a nice inheritance. Father, brother, NO joint account. I felt guilty not having a joint account in quite a few areas. Took interest without me knowing. I always paid the bills, stopped. WHAT A FOOL I AM. I go to back one account, Empty!!!!! I was so, I don't know, started crying in the bank. Manager told me, no joint account. I changed everything. TRUST, I was warned. I needed my father and brother they died 2 yrs a part. Also, he is not in my Will.
as u know know Always use a single acct or trust Be carefull who u trust I was lucky my 2 nd hubby was great
Passed 2010 Learned my lesson
dianrib
@dianrib
@dianrib
Posts: 187
Joined: Jun 04, 2018
@dianrib
is that worth the misery ?/ Never allow any KIND of abuse Makes it worse
Liked by smilie