I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.

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@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger

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@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

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One slap That ended my first marriage right away

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I married at 16 Bad idea Found my true love when I was 20 Howard Great guy Gone miss him so much RIP 2010

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I was married twice, how stupid, and they were both abusive. I discovered that they had some similar characteristics.

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I was married twice, how stupid, and they were both abusive. I discovered that they had some similar characteristics.

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@smilie Sometimes we do not see how someone is until we get close to them. Sometimes they feel they have us "over a barrel" after marriage or commitment, so they can treat us however they want. It is up to us to stop the abuse. I'm not saying it is easy, it isn't. But for our sanity and safety, we have to, by whatever means.
Ginger

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Hi Ginger, I’m almost broke because of my ex husband, he kept taking away money from me and to this day I don’t know how, plus, are you ready for this and are you sitting down, we had no sex life for 12 years. Can you figure that one out?

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Hi, this is my third marriage, 2 physically, verbally abusive, now 2 people in 1 body. always needed love and to be Validated. Too late now.

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Hi, this is my third marriage, 2 physically, verbally abusive, now 2 people in 1 body. always needed love and to be Validated. Too late now.

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I’m sorry for your loss! May I ask why you got married so young?

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I had a nice inheritance. Father, brother, NO joint account. I felt guilty not having a joint account in quite a few areas. Took interest without me knowing. I always paid the bills, stopped. WHAT A FOOL I AM. I go to back one account, Empty!!!!! I was so, I don't know, started crying in the bank. Manager told me, no joint account. I changed everything. TRUST, I was warned. I needed my father and brother they died 2 yrs a part. Also, he is not in my Will.

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