Mayo Clinic Connect
When it comes to some families the only thing they have in common is DNA.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, blindeyepug
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you would not be surprised to know it is more prevalent than most people will admit. i really do want a family but definetly not the one i have. it is sad, hurtful and a very lonely place to be. these do groups help somewhat.
Liked by blindeyepug
I surely am not alone.
Hi Jim @jimhd
I’m a great believer in the value of support groups. I wasn’t aware that there were support groups specifically for PTSD. How did you find the support group? Was it through NAMI or another organization?
to me, the doctors cannot help us. we need a specifically caring and qualified person in whatever their title is to be able to help us help ourselves. i do not think that a doctor will be paid by the insurance companies for this category. i am not sure about this, but then why will they (the doctors) not do this? why are we kept out of the loop in knowing these regulations? we are paying for this within the charges to us. i think most doctors have not “walked in our shoes” to realize the on going suffering in our lives. there should be a course for the doctors to take on this subject. we need the doctors and they need us. again, another shame for the medical field.
dear blindeyepug: this is in reply to your request. in a short form. born into a family with both mother and father mentally ill. for no reason would regularly beat me with the buckle side of the belt, break dinner dishes over my head, lift me up by the hair on my head and then throw me, plus whatever took their fancy. they allowed my sisters to do the same. and much, much more. if there were more of an awareness of the mental illnesses in the early 1930’s perhaps it would have helped. i thought i was nothing. i would hide in the closed so as not to be seen to be beaten. and much, much more. enough for now. (p.s.food was withheld. ) and much, much more. now i am here. i suppose i am not correct on some of what i write, but i try my best. and you also will be well and do good, you will see. with love, barbara.
@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.
dear blindeyepug,they (my sisters) were taught well.
Liked by blindeyepug, Gail, Alumna Mentor
Hello Barbara @peach414144
I appreciate your sharing your story with us. Your upbringing was certainly tough and that makes you a survivor. As we share our stories, it is encouraging to others to share their story as well. Understanding what we have been through is like a personal history lesson. We begin to learn what made us the way we are and why we have problems with relationships and anxiety and the rest of it.
Liked by Lisa Lucier, Connect Moderator
@peach. We clearly had very similar childhoods. So glad we have both been able to move forward in a positive direction. ❤
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
The group was offered at the Lutheran Community Services, who took over the county mental health service. The depression/anxiety group was more beneficial for me, but they were both ten years ago. I wish there were more resources available, but that’s just one sacrifice for living in a rural community. There may be other groups in the city that’s an hour away. That’s too much driving for my budget.
I did take a peer counseling class a few years ago, sponsored by NAMI. It was interesting.
Dear Jim @jimhd
Peer counseling through NAMI sounds like it would be good – similar perhaps to Stephen Ministry training. When you learn to help others, you invariable help yourself.
I have heard positive things about NAMI-my experience w/ this group in this area was negative. Hope it is more positive elsewhere.
dear blindeyepug. yes, we are alike. i took judo many years ago and have learned to keep a gun safely in check. with a carry permit. now at my age as i look back into the past and realize all the variables that could have happened, i am satisfied as to where i am now. i , i have helped many people and will continue to do so. (pistol packin mama at age 80). and i am sure there are many more people that are good and do good and should be appreciated for what they do..
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, blindeyepug, Lisa Lucier, Connect Moderator
i agree but at the very least the doctors should be respectful to the patient.
Stephens Ministry is a great program.
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