Mayo Clinic Connect
@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.
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@peach414144 That is an incredibly beautiful story – thanks for sharing your heart with us!
Liked by GailBL, Volunteer Mentor, Lisa Lucier
Laughter, I like laughter!!!! And that was 200 head (bodies included) of horses. Guldern neuropathy!! Can assure you, I will not bare my soul to anyone but God and since He has gotten me thus far…up to Him about how much farther.
dear parus, i want you to know from the bottom of my heart (and from a million of others i am sure) we love and appreciate you as a precious and good person. keep with us, we are with you.
Liked by blindeyepug, GailBL, Volunteer Mentor, Lisa Lucier
i have ptsd i guess i will be working with this forever. but, keep your chin up!
I think that when I accepted that, barring a miracle from God, I would live with a particular issue until I die, I felt more at peace with it, though I’m still learning to make adjustments to my attitude and my lifestyle.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Lisa Lucier, Parus
i am still wondering if i can forgive my sisters. i think they have also inherited some of the mental disease and with the parents allowing them to do what they did certainly did not help.. even with proper medication and counseling some people just like who and what they are will never change. they enjoy their actions. so be it. there are still a million stories in the big city and on this (and other) planets. love yourself first then you can spread it around.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, blindeyepug, GailBL, Volunteer Mentor, Parus
@jimhd Amen to that statement. One of the hardest things is acceptance and I also found a type of peace once I did thus.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, GailBL, Volunteer Mentor
good for you.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
Yes @parus, I too have PTSD. I’ve had it since the mid-1980s. I’ve been in therapy for the last seven years for depression and PTSD, and it has been a tremendous help to me. I’m finally starting to live again, I even got a part-time job as well as working from home (I am a book editor). I wish I could convince my niece to get therapy, she too has PTSD/depression and won’t even consider the notion that she has it or that she needs therapy. Instead, she posts sad messages on Facebook.
I don’t post all that often on here, but if you ever need anything, I hope you’ll come here for support. This is a wonderful community.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, blindeyepug, GailBL, Volunteer Mentor, Lisa Lucier
There are many folks I know that have been in therapy (I once was) that want others to get therapy as it helps them and we are all different. It would take a highly skilled professional to determine if someone has PTSD. Many times PTSD is misdiagnosed and this can turn into a horrific experience.
I know I would “not” diagnose another as even professionals “can” and “do” make mistakes.
If this shoe happens to fit some…I apologize for starting this post on PTSD.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and also for sharing the help that you have received. I’m glad to hear that you are now able to live a more productive life and that you are enjoying some work experiences. I agree that this is a good community for sharing your experiences with others.
Regarding helping your niece, please remember that no matter how much we would like to see people change, the only person we can change is ourselves. Your niece will have to find her own way to peace and productivity.
Liked by GailBL, Volunteer Mentor
yes, you are right. i have tried to help my cousin to help herself but she will not admit her faults and problems. to her it is the other persons fault and not hers. for now i leave alone until she calls me and i will be there for her.
Liked by blindeyepug
dear parus, everyone makes many mistakes. it just happens. i don’t think we mean to hurt. i see a professional and i am lucky that i found him. he does help me also with the medications. he helps me to understand myself and my actions and reactions to my life experiences and the now problems that seem to always exist. my ups and down, mostly downs. try to spoil yourself. do what you enjoy without feeling guilty about it. to me, the problems will always be there i try to get my mind into something that will busy me to the point of forgetting. take care.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, blindeyepug, Lisa Lucier
Hi everyone , I also suffer from drug resistant depression and come from an abusive background. PTSD is a part of my life as well. In your posts I learned that there are other people who suffer from debilitating fatigue as well. It is nice to know that I am not alone . I am new to this forum and I am grateful to have found you here! Thistime of year is very difficult for my due the Seasonal Affective Disorder. For some reason it starts early for me.
Liked by Lisa Lucier
Hello @curly and welcome to Mayo Connect.
We are glad that you found this forum. As you can see, you are not alone with PTSD as well as drug resistant depression. I am sorry to hear that you are entering a difficult time of year for your depression. We hope that you can use this discussion group (as well as other groups) to discuss your feelings and thoughts as you deal with your depression and the daily activities of living.
We would like to get to know your better, if you care to share more about yourself, please let us know how long have you have been dealing with depression and what coping strategies you have found helpful.
@curly Glad to have you join us. I, too, find comfort in knowing I am not alone in my struggles. This is a great forum of very kind and helpful people. There are lots of good suggestions on different ways to cope with and get relief from the various illnesses the groups deal with daily. I pray you find some good ideas and new friends. I note one of your health issues is seasonal affective disorder. Have you tried those natural light lamps or light bulbs? I have heard exposure to them for as little as 20 mins a day can help. Just a thought since I have never personally tried it as I am fortunate enough to get relief for my depression with medication. It must be so frustrating to have depression that does not respond to medication!
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