Anyone Else With PTSD?

Posted by Parus @parus, Jul 21, 2017

Curious

@parus

For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me…I did not file the charges against this therapist.

Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life…I live in fear for my family too. I don’t know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping…I find it hard to trust.

I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.

Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal…now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.

I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system…I don’t think there is help there or anywhere.

That was negative and also true.

Jump to this post

Yup, she has a Doctorate of Divinity which she had when she was playing games with me…just not sure which divinity…could have meant fudge. Also illegal to call herself doctor. BTW, there was nothing she was not qualified for in her mind (?). I am being downright snide!! I best stop with my inappropriateness. Never know where that pervert may be lurking. Not here as fb is more her speed.

Thing is as an alternative counselor she cannot bill insurance companies…yet. I am not making fun, but the whole thing was ludicrous and these are the kind that make a mockery of the mental health system and Chritianity— until it hit the OAG…now those were professionals. They wanted her OUT!!!

Still asking self-“why me?” Thanks for asking.

REPLY
@parus

For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me…I did not file the charges against this therapist.

Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life…I live in fear for my family too. I don’t know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping…I find it hard to trust.

I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.

Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal…now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.

I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system…I don’t think there is help there or anywhere.

That was negative and also true.

Jump to this post

@parus

Of course, those DD’s can be purchased online and by mail for a price. Fudge – good one!

I don’t know what OAG is. I’m sure that any legit organization would want her out.

“Why me?” is an oft asked question, though usually has no good answer, so the next question becomes “Where do I go from here?”.

It looks from your avatar that you like horses.

Jim

Liked by Parus, magspierce

REPLY
@parus

For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me…I did not file the charges against this therapist.

Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life…I live in fear for my family too. I don’t know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping…I find it hard to trust.

I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.

Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal…now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.

I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system…I don’t think there is help there or anywhere.

That was negative and also true.

Jump to this post

@jimhd OAG = Office of Attorney General…The Professional Licensing Agency making up the panel were a most impressive group.

As to where to I go? I know I do not want to go to testify at the OAG as a resident of the state…I was not nervous or scared as I was not the one in trouble. Why me-Why not? I had a job to do and her ship was sunk by her own words and the fact that she lied under oath at the 1st hearing.

My avatar is a detail of one of my watercolors. I do like horses although I can no longer ride and after being a wrangler for 2.00 head in WY I am spoiled. Lived my dream for a few years.

Off the topic of PTSD. I stay a way from things I know can trigger it. There are times I do get blind-sided. A doctor suggested I see a therapist-OOPS!

I have gotten to where I can pretty much ground myself-mostly I am a loner. Not seeking pity.

For now I am here. Thanks to those here for allowing me to share some about what my PTSD is about. The other things I cannot mention as I don’t want to go there.

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

@blindeyepug I am sorry for your abuse.

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

@parus. Thank you. I am very sorry for all you have been through.

REPLY

yes. mine is from living with a mother and a father who were mentally ill and beating and verbally abusing me and allowing my 3 sisters to also beat and verbally abuse me. my story is a horrible one but somehow i have done well. but still at times suffer from dreams and memories that i try to kick out of my mind. it is easy to feel sorry for myself. if depression hits me, i turn on music, dance to the music, television, go outside and garden, do puzzles or wash the floor. not to enjoyable but eventually it works. my life story goes deep. would like to write a book. very interesting and quite unbelievable.

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

yes, you are right. my mother was so abusive to me. when she was dying of ovarian cancer at age 90 i realized that she was mentally ill and so many years age there were not many treatments or diagnosis of mental illness. i sat with my mother near the end and told her of my love for her. she smiled and said the same. if you knew the whole story it was a “wonder” and a beautiful thing that this happened.

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

Hello @peach414144

Thank you for sharing your very profound story of love and forgiveness. I understand how difficult it is to have a parent with undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. It can make life very confusing unless you have a strong support network on your side.

Would you be comfortable sharing how you reached this point in your relationship with your mother?

Teresa

REPLY
@parus

For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me…I did not file the charges against this therapist.

Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life…I live in fear for my family too. I don’t know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping…I find it hard to trust.

I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.

Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal…now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.

I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system…I don’t think there is help there or anywhere.

That was negative and also true.

Jump to this post

@parus

I know about not baring my soul to whomever. There are a few things that are between me and God, and things that are between me and God and my wife and my therapist. I don’t think Mayo has groups for those things, anyway.

Jim

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

yes, i would like to share with you and whomever. but, it will be a very, very long responce. i will ave to omit some things to make it short. (we could write a book). both my parents were mentally ill. beatings, and mental abuse. one example: my father would break dinner dishes over my head many times. my mother would grab the hair on my head and lift me off the floor and then throw me. they used the belt buckle first and beat me, and on and on. they allowed my sisters to do the same, and all this with much mental abuse over and over again. i thought i was a nothing and that something was wrong with me. and much, much more. NOW: here is the answer you are looking for. it all came to a head when i received a telephone call from a representative of an abuse center for seniors. i was asked “what do i know about my mother being abused.” .now, i did not live near my sisters and my mother. what i found out was when she (mom) wound up at the emergency room and after being treated, my sisters would send her home alone with no one to care for her.after they beat her black and blue and purple. to make this story shorter i got durable power of attorney and brought her up here where i live. i had her placed into a hospice care home HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE A 90 YEAR OLD WOMAN DYING OF CERVICAL CANCER WHO CANNOT EVEN LIFT HER HEAD OFF THE PILLOW AND BEAT HER BLACK AND BLUE? you would think that i would be the last one in this family to save her from this horror of abuse. my heart was bleeding. i spoke with her in between the morphine. read to her, and we both spoke of LOVE. there was a smile on her face. and when her time came hopefully she went in a better way mentally. i think it all boils down to FORGIVENESS. and now i am crying, but it is a good cry.

REPLY
@blindeyepug

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

Jump to this post

this is peach again. i forgot: yes i do have ptsd.

REPLY

I enjoy writing and “if” I were to write a book it would be a happy book with happy paintings-something to bring a smile to the faces of others and not about the darkness and abuse that are so prevalent in the media. I would write a book for my grand children. This will not happen as I live w/ chronic pain and other labels as well.

REPLY

Laughter, I like laughter!!!! And that was 200 head (bodies included) of horses. Guldern neuropathy!! Can assure you, I will not bare my soul to anyone but God and since He has gotten me thus far…up to Him about how much farther.

Liked by blindeyepug

REPLY

@parus Understand.

Teresa

REPLY
@parus

I enjoy writing and “if” I were to write a book it would be a happy book with happy paintings-something to bring a smile to the faces of others and not about the darkness and abuse that are so prevalent in the media. I would write a book for my grand children. This will not happen as I live w/ chronic pain and other labels as well.

Jump to this post

@parus

Hmmm, a children’s book would fit the picture of what you describe. Beautiful pictures and funny stories. I’m thinking of something like Robert McCloskey’s, Blueberries for Sal, or Dr. Seuss type books.

Just a thought: Perhaps you could dictate the book and then have someone else type it for you?

Teresa

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.