Anxiety and Depression

Posted by tmf0 @tmf0, Nov 24, 2018

For the last 10 weeks my anxiety and depression have been at a level that I’ve never experienced. My life has completely changed in such a short period of time. I am constantly nauseated, I hardly get out of bed, I have no desire to see or speak to anyone, my mind is continuously spinning with irrational thoughts, I even canceled Thanksgiving and I can go on & on. I just dont know how anyone can live like this. I’m not living but merely existing. It’s a battle every minute of every day. I just want to feel normal again.

@tdib

I have had depression also since my mid 20's, I'm about your age . I think I've been on every antidepressant with little relief. And was also using Amblify it may have helped some but the weight I gained, 70lbs. I don't know if it was worth it. I was recently put on a new one , Latuda that I think was making a difference for me but it is so expensive I can't afford it on my monthly disability check, but the psy. Doc. kept me on samples for 4 mo. Long enough to see it helped and I could not stay on it. It is a big disappointment for me . But i you have the means it might be worth a try. Cost of $ 1250 before insurance . Best wishes to you.

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@tdib, @beebz Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm so sorry that you both have been depressed for such a long time. Many of us on this post can tell you that they have too. I think that I became depressed in my teens, when I felt totally inept because of my mother's comments to me and my strict upbringing. I have heard that doctors are beginning to take the amount of people who can't take medicines due to cost more seriously now. Things are starting to change, subtly.
Other than medicine have either of you been in therapy at all? If not and your insurance can cover it then I suggest this very strongly. I have started to use a seasonal light and it works! I would look into this. Yes, I have been angry and sad since I have started to use it but not the deep deep depression that I have had. It's worth a try and they aren't that expensive. I take Zoloft and Wellbutrin and I exercise.
@tdib,- In order for me to try and help you more I'd like to ask what your disability is from because this can be a large contributor to depression.
@beebz – I had a hysterectomy about your age too. However I was instantly put on hormones to stop premature menopause. Were you given any hormones? What has your doctor said about your medications not working?
Getting out of the house and exercising and helping others are the elixir's for pulling yourself out of depression. I'm in my early 70's so I know that life can be good again!

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@lisalucier

Hi, @beebz, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. That would be very hard to have this depression worsening with no medicines helping much to date.

I would like to introduce you to @guener @parus @annedodrill44 @merpreb @stressedmesseddepressed, who may have some ideas on relieving the depression.

Have you tried any other therapies beyond medication thus far, @beebz?

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I am currently starting therapy to try to help.

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@merpreb

@tdib, @beebz Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm so sorry that you both have been depressed for such a long time. Many of us on this post can tell you that they have too. I think that I became depressed in my teens, when I felt totally inept because of my mother's comments to me and my strict upbringing. I have heard that doctors are beginning to take the amount of people who can't take medicines due to cost more seriously now. Things are starting to change, subtly.
Other than medicine have either of you been in therapy at all? If not and your insurance can cover it then I suggest this very strongly. I have started to use a seasonal light and it works! I would look into this. Yes, I have been angry and sad since I have started to use it but not the deep deep depression that I have had. It's worth a try and they aren't that expensive. I take Zoloft and Wellbutrin and I exercise.
@tdib,- In order for me to try and help you more I'd like to ask what your disability is from because this can be a large contributor to depression.
@beebz – I had a hysterectomy about your age too. However I was instantly put on hormones to stop premature menopause. Were you given any hormones? What has your doctor said about your medications not working?
Getting out of the house and exercising and helping others are the elixir's for pulling yourself out of depression. I'm in my early 70's so I know that life can be good again!

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My doctor says I have treatment resistant depression. I was put on hormones immmediately after my hysterectomy. I tried several medications along with ect treatments. The ect treatments messed up my memory which I was upset about because I was told it would not do it. I am currently on abilify, prozac, and modafinil. I also take klonopin for anxiety as needed.

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@beebz– Good morning. Good for you! My last therapy really helped me. I also have found that when I didn't follow the suggestions for getting myself out of depression nothing would happen. But when I finally did as suggested, no matter how difficult, and impossible it seemed, I kept having better and better days. Here is a link about treatment resistant depression. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/treatment-resistant-depression/art-20044324.
I hope that you stay here with us and continue to share your experiences.

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I have been a member here at connect for a while. The more I read the more I begin to wonder if there are any success stories? Mostly what I have been reading is others wanting to stop antidepressants and anti anxiety medications that have caused more harm than good.
I know these type of medications were not for me as the depression I experience is drug resistant. I have had shock treatments and would not do thus again. Anti anxiety medications did help make life easier. They are no longer recommended for various reasons.
When it comes to depression and anxiety I find I am chasing my own tail. I eat healthy, I have my own exercise routine which isn't good enough for the ortho doc so was sent to PT and now have been down and unable to do what I was doing. I have failed again.
I see these people that don't take care of themselves getting help and I can't because I do try!
I get myself stabilized only to end up feeling worse for asking for options with pain management. Apparently there are no options.
Of course my anxiety and depression are worse and it is up to me to fix it again.
I am exhausted. I tell myself the fibromyalgia is all in my head too. I know not to even mention it.

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@parus

I have been a member here at connect for a while. The more I read the more I begin to wonder if there are any success stories? Mostly what I have been reading is others wanting to stop antidepressants and anti anxiety medications that have caused more harm than good.
I know these type of medications were not for me as the depression I experience is drug resistant. I have had shock treatments and would not do thus again. Anti anxiety medications did help make life easier. They are no longer recommended for various reasons.
When it comes to depression and anxiety I find I am chasing my own tail. I eat healthy, I have my own exercise routine which isn't good enough for the ortho doc so was sent to PT and now have been down and unable to do what I was doing. I have failed again.
I see these people that don't take care of themselves getting help and I can't because I do try!
I get myself stabilized only to end up feeling worse for asking for options with pain management. Apparently there are no options.
Of course my anxiety and depression are worse and it is up to me to fix it again.
I am exhausted. I tell myself the fibromyalgia is all in my head too. I know not to even mention it.

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I’m so sorry you are going through all this. And yeah, when people are feeling great, I do t expect them to reach out on sites like this :). So I agree, it does seem like it’s all folks who aren’t getting any better. But just know that fibromyalgia is NOT all in your head.

As far as exercise, when you do it, don’t listen to music or anything. Exercise could (and should) be good for your mind and body. Like a walk. If able, force yourself to walk for an hour everyday. Get a long route. Reason I suggest this is because it’s meditative. Meditation literally changes your brain structure just like antidepressants or ECT. (SP). I’m in the struggle too. Zero “Joy of Life”. And I hate myself for this! Because I have a lot going for me!

Maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like. 🙁

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@parus

I have been a member here at connect for a while. The more I read the more I begin to wonder if there are any success stories? Mostly what I have been reading is others wanting to stop antidepressants and anti anxiety medications that have caused more harm than good.
I know these type of medications were not for me as the depression I experience is drug resistant. I have had shock treatments and would not do thus again. Anti anxiety medications did help make life easier. They are no longer recommended for various reasons.
When it comes to depression and anxiety I find I am chasing my own tail. I eat healthy, I have my own exercise routine which isn't good enough for the ortho doc so was sent to PT and now have been down and unable to do what I was doing. I have failed again.
I see these people that don't take care of themselves getting help and I can't because I do try!
I get myself stabilized only to end up feeling worse for asking for options with pain management. Apparently there are no options.
Of course my anxiety and depression are worse and it is up to me to fix it again.
I am exhausted. I tell myself the fibromyalgia is all in my head too. I know not to even mention it.

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@parus

I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in a bad place today. As I have known you, online, for quite some time now, I really do see you as a success story. Sometimes it is hard to reflect on where you've been and how much progress you've made. I realize that was true for me as well. Recovery is often one (or two) steps forward and them steps some backward. (Unfortunately, it is not always an upward straight line.) Trust me on this, however, you have made some remarkable steps forward.

Chronic pain does have a way to cloud the emotional picture of who we are. You are valuable to your grandson, your family, and the Connect community!

Thanks for being with us.

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@parus

I have been a member here at connect for a while. The more I read the more I begin to wonder if there are any success stories? Mostly what I have been reading is others wanting to stop antidepressants and anti anxiety medications that have caused more harm than good.
I know these type of medications were not for me as the depression I experience is drug resistant. I have had shock treatments and would not do thus again. Anti anxiety medications did help make life easier. They are no longer recommended for various reasons.
When it comes to depression and anxiety I find I am chasing my own tail. I eat healthy, I have my own exercise routine which isn't good enough for the ortho doc so was sent to PT and now have been down and unable to do what I was doing. I have failed again.
I see these people that don't take care of themselves getting help and I can't because I do try!
I get myself stabilized only to end up feeling worse for asking for options with pain management. Apparently there are no options.
Of course my anxiety and depression are worse and it is up to me to fix it again.
I am exhausted. I tell myself the fibromyalgia is all in my head too. I know not to even mention it.

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@parus– Good morning. I think that you might be feeling overwhelmed right now. Pain has a way of telling us that we'll never be without feeling well. And sometimes that does happen. But can you honestly say that you haven't improved at all since you've been on here? @secretwhitepop has made a great point. A lot of people do not stay with Connect after they feel well. It would certainly be better if they did hang around.
As you know I have always felt like a failure and no matter what was my "fault" or not, I was blamed or blamed myself, even as an adult. I remember I was getting back into the car with my mom, after a luncheon thingie, and went to start the car and the brake pedal just went straight to the floor. It was broken. My mom gave me that eye look that blamed me, even if she was told that I couldn't have broken it. It turned out that a cable had broken. But she never ever apologized. It was such an emotional thing for me that it clouded my mind into avoiding reality. The reality being that I wasn't to blame. "What the hell, what are you talking about mom? How did I do this? Come on." I put so much energy into feeling guilty and shame and that I was a failure that I couldn't see the road ahead. I was sabotaging my own efforts. It was a vicious circle.
I'm still very tough on myself, which makes me pay more attention to details and helps me excel, so something positive came out of it. Don't you think that it's time for you? Break this cycle. You aren't failing @parus, you are telling yourself that you have. But it's not real, because you haven't.

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@parus

I have been a member here at connect for a while. The more I read the more I begin to wonder if there are any success stories? Mostly what I have been reading is others wanting to stop antidepressants and anti anxiety medications that have caused more harm than good.
I know these type of medications were not for me as the depression I experience is drug resistant. I have had shock treatments and would not do thus again. Anti anxiety medications did help make life easier. They are no longer recommended for various reasons.
When it comes to depression and anxiety I find I am chasing my own tail. I eat healthy, I have my own exercise routine which isn't good enough for the ortho doc so was sent to PT and now have been down and unable to do what I was doing. I have failed again.
I see these people that don't take care of themselves getting help and I can't because I do try!
I get myself stabilized only to end up feeling worse for asking for options with pain management. Apparently there are no options.
Of course my anxiety and depression are worse and it is up to me to fix it again.
I am exhausted. I tell myself the fibromyalgia is all in my head too. I know not to even mention it.

Jump to this post

@parus Don't even think that fibro is in your head it is a real disease even though most Dr.s don't think so l The P.T. I had started mine to go awry ? You know if your trigger points are touched and you go through the roof . Your rheumatologist is your safest Dr. for fibro . All those fibro meds didn't help me at all so you have to do your own research and see what works for you as Dr.,s really don't know . Be your own advocate you know your body better then anyone ,don't listen to the nay sayers they are not in your shoes. You are a wonderful caring person but you need to be kind to yourself and cant do it all . Its just something we all have to accept. I know P.T. stirs up my fibro so I tell the therapist I cant do something. I really don't care if they don't like it Its my body not theres . So just know yourselve and do what helps you . Don't worry about what others say .

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Physical pain has my mind clouded. I keep trying and end up feeling guilty because I failed again. The doctor wants me back in PT. I canceled. The terror of going back was too much. I left in tears having failed in getting help again. I was too filled with fear of seeing that PT therapist again. I have a very arthritic neck that cannot tolerate the stress the therapist was putting on my neck and the ortho doc wanted me to go back!! Are these therapists not informed about the condition of the patient prior to treating the patient?? I am not brave enough to be hurt like that again!! The 1st one was helping and I was optimistic. It will take me sometime to get my pain under tolerable control again. Forget asking for help!!

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@merpreb

@parus– Good morning. I think that you might be feeling overwhelmed right now. Pain has a way of telling us that we'll never be without feeling well. And sometimes that does happen. But can you honestly say that you haven't improved at all since you've been on here? @secretwhitepop has made a great point. A lot of people do not stay with Connect after they feel well. It would certainly be better if they did hang around.
As you know I have always felt like a failure and no matter what was my "fault" or not, I was blamed or blamed myself, even as an adult. I remember I was getting back into the car with my mom, after a luncheon thingie, and went to start the car and the brake pedal just went straight to the floor. It was broken. My mom gave me that eye look that blamed me, even if she was told that I couldn't have broken it. It turned out that a cable had broken. But she never ever apologized. It was such an emotional thing for me that it clouded my mind into avoiding reality. The reality being that I wasn't to blame. "What the hell, what are you talking about mom? How did I do this? Come on." I put so much energy into feeling guilty and shame and that I was a failure that I couldn't see the road ahead. I was sabotaging my own efforts. It was a vicious circle.
I'm still very tough on myself, which makes me pay more attention to details and helps me excel, so something positive came out of it. Don't you think that it's time for you? Break this cycle. You aren't failing @parus, you are telling yourself that you have. But it's not real, because you haven't.

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@merpreb I had been staying here at connect because I was improving. I had stopped posting as much because I wanted to be encouraging and not back in the same dark hole again. People can and do get better. I am sorry to have failed again. It helps no one to see someone progress and be unable to maintain.

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@lioness

@parus Don't even think that fibro is in your head it is a real disease even though most Dr.s don't think so l The P.T. I had started mine to go awry ? You know if your trigger points are touched and you go through the roof . Your rheumatologist is your safest Dr. for fibro . All those fibro meds didn't help me at all so you have to do your own research and see what works for you as Dr.,s really don't know . Be your own advocate you know your body better then anyone ,don't listen to the nay sayers they are not in your shoes. You are a wonderful caring person but you need to be kind to yourself and cant do it all . Its just something we all have to accept. I know P.T. stirs up my fibro so I tell the therapist I cant do something. I really don't care if they don't like it Its my body not theres . So just know yourselve and do what helps you . Don't worry about what others say .

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@lioness Thanks. Not I don’t feel so guilty for canceling PT. I know not to even mention fibro. I have never seen a rheumatologist as the fibro mess we’re terrible for me. I was even told I don’t have fibromyalgia because the meds didn’t help.

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