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Activities to do with your loved one: Share your tips

Posted by Becky, Volunteer Mentor @becsbuddy, Sep 8, 2019

Have you ever found yourself in a position of just not knowing what to do? How to keep someone busy or distracted or entertained or anything?! @debbraw gave me a list that her caregivers group put together and suggested that I share it with you.

Here is @debbraw ‘s list:
- Take an after dinner drive
- Tour the countryside
- Go out for ice cream. Try different locations
- Go to the Farmers Market
- Visit a dog park
- Visit a county, state, or national park
- Have a meal out. Take some friends along
- Bird watch and identify them and keep a list
- Collect leaves in the Fall
- Ask a neighbor to visit
- Watch the children at a playground
- Attend free music events at the library
- Visit a garden center
- Go to a book store that has a coffee bar
- Watch old Saturday morning cowboy shows or find old DVDs at the library
- Have a contest with Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy
- Board games or card games
- Fold laundry
- Play croquet

Do you have any hobbies or games or books that have worked for you? Please share!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

Teri | @tsc | Mar 8 2:40pm
In reply to @ejgroninger "My husband has gotten really engaged with jigsaw puzzles. He often spends most of the day..." + (show)
@ejgroninger

My husband has gotten really engaged with jigsaw puzzles. He often spends most of the day working on them. It's an accomplishment he can feel good about and show others how far he has gotten on a puzzle and then later the finished product.
I'm interested to hear what the geriatrician said about sleeping more. My husband was always the first one up and went at a nonstop pace. Now, I often let him sleep until 9. but unfortunately need to wake him up by then because he has diabetes and needs to have his insulin with food first. I also have found that if I can talk him into going outside now that the weather is improving, he does look around and think about the surroundings and occasionally will stop and chat with someone. I have been fortunate to find a lovely woman who comes a few hours a week as a "companion" so he has someone different to talk with and I can feel comfortable to leave for a bit to do errands.

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Hi@ejgroninger, the geritrician likened the brain to a battery that loses power throughout the day and needs to be recharged. That's all she really said.
I'm careful to avoid situations that are overstimulating. Too much sensory input can have a detrimental effect on an overtaxed brain.
We've had a very rainy winter here and it depresses my husband. He wants to sit up in bed in a dark room, and not walk, even if there's a break in the rain outside. He did fall on his back once on a slippery sidewalk. His knee was quite bloody, no injury other than that, but maybe he still remembers.
I can leave my husband for a few hours to do errands. He stays in the house when I'm out. I know that will end and I will have to get someone to stay with him.
The hardest thing I found was learning to accept the changes that come with this disorder.
The geritrician also told me that much of the person with dementia's demeanor is based on the behavior of the caregiver. I try to stay as calm as possible, and sometimes it's difficult!
Our puzzles are 16 - 35 pieces with an occasional 100 piece.
I wish you the best.

REPLY
heymama | @heymama | Mar 10 3:47pm
In reply to @lanieg "My wife is in intractable pain 24/7. She is unable to walk and is terribly depressed...." + (show)
@lanieg

My wife is in intractable pain 24/7. She is unable to walk and is terribly depressed. We do inside things but she is very limited. She also resents it if I do something alone that we used to do together or visit a friend alone. We live in an independent living community that has a lot of support but she won't take advantage of it. She totally depends on me. How do I get some time for myself?

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My husband has had chronic cluster headaches for the past 25 years. He gets 4 to 6 a day every day. The neurologist said that they are about 100 times worse than a migraine. He takes oxycondone for the pain. Now he has significant memory loss and aphasia. He is depressed and ready to give up. He doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything except watch TV. I’m overwhelmed

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Mar 10 8:40pm
In reply to @heymama "My husband has had chronic cluster headaches for the past 25 years. He gets 4 to..." + (show)
@heymama

My husband has had chronic cluster headaches for the past 25 years. He gets 4 to 6 a day every day. The neurologist said that they are about 100 times worse than a migraine. He takes oxycondone for the pain. Now he has significant memory loss and aphasia. He is depressed and ready to give up. He doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything except watch TV. I’m overwhelmed

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@heymama Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! We’re glad you found the group. The headaches sound truly awful for your husband! And you, too. And he’s had these for 28 years? Oh, my goodness. A neurologist has evaluated your husband but can offer nothing but oxycodone?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/cluster-headaches-1/
Here is a discussion on cluster headaches (in the Brain and Nervous System support group). You might try and explain your dilemma in that group and see what they might suggest.
Would your husband be open to trying something new? What would you like to see for him?

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kayraymat | @kayraymat | 1 day ago

Yes, I understand. My husband has trouble walking also, so walks & such which are GREAT
are something we don't do anymore. I did get him a "transfer chair" & he made me take it back, saying "I don't want you to have to push me around." So of course I said, " I have been waiting for years to push you around?" He got the joke but still doesn't want the chair.
Has she tried reading or listening to books on tape? He will do that, but I know socialization is most important so now I am looking for those opportunities. Good luck.

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