How about a laugh, (hopefully)

A Minnesota "Lars" Joke

A boy from Duluth, Minnesota named Lars had hear family stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that is father, grandfather and great grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthdays, to the boat club across the lake for their first legal drink.

So when Lars' 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Sven took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Lars stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned. Sven managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Lars went to see his grandmother. "Grandma," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked into Lars' eyes and said, "Because your father, grandfather and great-grandfather were born in January. You were born in July."

Told by President Regan.
The following was written on an Irish tombstone.

Remember me as you pass by,
So as you are so once was I,
But as I am you too will be,
So be content to follow me.
Someone had scratched on the stone
To follow you I am content,
I wish I knew what way you went.

@jakedduck1

Absolutely love that!
And that's no blarney
FL Mary

Two whole days without a post! What's the matter with us, people?
(In case it isn't clear: That's a joke: mock severity.) I hope it's a sign that everybody is happily doing something else, but, selfishly, I want some laughs outta youse !! More accurately, I could really use some laughs now. Just had some stinky days in a row...

I almost posted some "cute" stories about my kids, but, since they aren't really funny to anyone who doesn't know my kids, I went back to Frosty's list of oldies but goodies, and re-posted some of them. They actually are funny. Thanks, Frosty!

16. After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails. [This one is hysterical!]

17. Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor. [Been there, haven't done that either.]

18. For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.
[ I shared #17 at my family Easter party. All of the women laughed and all of the men groaned! ]

19. I just got a present labeled, From Mom and Dad, and you know damn well Dad has no idea what’s inside. [Soooo true!]

I hope that everybody is okay! Have a good weekend!

What do you call a Satanist who only eats low carb pizza?

The Anti Crust.

FL Mary

Grooooooaaaan! Haha THANKS!

Ok, I have to give credit to Miss “Alexa” for these:

What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth?
Answer, a gummy bear

Which baseball player has the shortest commute?
Answer, the catcher, he works from home…

Hi all, I love the levity of this thread and enjoy a good belly laugh with you all. I especially enjoy the plays on words. As requested by members who posted recently, two jokes that teetered on the line were removed. Thank you to those authors for wanting to keep the funnies respectful and inclusive.

Here's my contribution:
- I ordered an egg and a chicken on Amazon. I’ll let you know.

Elephant: That trip on the ark was the worst cruise I've ever been on!
Giraffe: It rained every day!
Zebra: And the walls and ceilings leaked!
Lion: What was he thinking when he invited termites!

The poor bees never got off the boat. They were left in the archives