Connect
How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.
Connect
@rsfcowgirl What a terrible experience you had! The doctor was definitely out-of-line. There are two things you can do: 1. Do nothing or, 2. Report the doctor. Reporting someone is hard, but his behavior gives the whole medical profession a bad name. Good doctors don’t need to defend themselves from bad ones.
I added the link to Medicare’s claims and filing a grievance web page:
https://www.medicare.gov/claims-appeals/file-a-complaint-grievance/filing-complaints-about-a-doctor-hospital-or-provider
Is this something you think you could do?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
11 Reactionsrsfcowgirl:
What an awful experience you went through! Becky is right! This doctor should be reported. I hope you are able to do so. He sounds like he actually could be dangerous towards people and their health care. Well, he was to you! There are a lot of good doctors. I and my family have had many good doctors. However, do keep in mind that it's your body and your money. You don't have to follow any care or pay for it if you don't feel it's right for you.
Good Luck!
PML
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsOh THANK YOU so much. This is perfect. Yes, I can do this. It is necessary also in behalf of other patients too. This Dr was dishonest with Medicare billing. He often added in major serious conditions in the reason for office visit that I had years ago that I didn't have while under his care to get more money. They'll surely object to that alone.
Thank you for giving me a great solution to help me with this out as it should be handled. Blessing!!!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsThanks for responding. Yes, he is a dangerous doctor. That's why I titled this so. And yes, I'm taking Becky's information and using it. What a Godsend she is and this forum is. And you are too. This is one destructive experience I'll address for the good for all. I feel confident I will be at least fairly heard.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsI went to an ER for something unrelated to the issue they found during a routine CT scan. They found an aortic aneurysm with a tear in it so they told me I was being transferred to a trauma hospital for emergency surgery.
Once I got to this trauma hospital they checked and confirmed what the other hospital found. But he said that I would need to go back to the hospital for surgery however it wasn’t bleeding so he said that he felt I was stable enough to discharge me and to contact my cardiovascular surgeon.
I made the appointment for the next day as the hospital had said to see him ASAP.
He was immediately annoyed that I made an appointment with him.
I was due for my annual checkup the following two weeks.
He downplayed the whole encounter and said I had nothing to worry about. The echocardiogram confirmed the aneurysm with the tear but he didn’t tell me the size and I forgot to ask him..
He abruptly said “see you in a year “ and walked out. Before he left I asked him if it could burst ( mostly a quick fatal occurrence). And he nonchalantly said “it could but we have ways to treat that” Hospitals always say ASAP, don’t worry “
No there isn’t. You don’t know it unless it burst and then it’s an emergency where you could bleed to death. He actually laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal!
Maybe it was small and didn’t need surgery right away but knowing how small or big would have given me a benchmark to monitor by.
He rushed the appointment as he had other patients waiting for him and I was interrupting him.
Two different hospital cardiovascular surgeons said I needed surgery but my doctor made light of it and told me to see him the following year.
What a jerk he was. Made me feel like I was being a baby and I shouldn’t have been there. The receptionist was not a happy camper either and rushed me out. I’m thinking of getting another opinion as I don’t trust this guy but I’m reluctant to do so. Any clue?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
8 ReactionsDear @rsfcowgirl ,
first of all, thank you so much for a long email that must have cost you a lot of energy just to write.
It is terrible that you had to experience something so awful. I am sorry it happened to you.
Unfortunately, I believe that there are different nuisances in doctors' behaviors. Although there might not be (I hope!) many around resembling your horrible doctor, I do think there are more bad doctors than kind doctors out there. - Or so is my experience because even though the really mean ones might be few, there is a very high number of indifferent, uninterested doctors who could not care less. I have met a few of them.
What makes it especially bad, is that it is when we are at our most vulnerable and weak level, that we need them the most. And so, whatever wrong they might do, has a much greater impact on us - both physically and mentally, when we are very sick.
I think doctors should be under the supervision of an independent organization that sends someone to check on them (& control how they behave and how they treat their patients) several times a year.
The problem, I believe, is that they feel all too secure and powerful the way it works now. And that alone is enough to make them behave badly because once they have finished medical school and internship, they pretty much are on their own, and can do whatever they please.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsDear @andytheman
please change the doctor because he sounds like a terrible jerk.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsMy situation may not be as life threatening but I stupidly rolled out of bed and fractured my clavicle. ER recommended I be seen quickly by a surgeon and suggested a practice. I got an appointment the next business day. I was waiting and in rolled the doctor, late of course I guess he had his nasty shot. Looked at my X-ray, said no surgery needed just wear a sling for 6-8 weeks. Before I could ask any questions (follow up X-rays, physical therapy out he went. No nurse came as I was preparing to leave.
After about 4 weeks I saw my PCP and was really pi**ed off. He examined my shoulder and said I was developing a frozen shoulder and need to be seen. The first place I tried declined the case, their top doc reviewed and also felt there was a better doctor. They both recommended the same surgeon. That appointment was night and day. He came in showed my X-ray and declared “this won’t heal. He laid out all the options and thoroughly explained the surgery. Had surgery the next week. I had a follow up surgery to remove the hardware 6 months later. He told me that it was required due to the location and displacement of the clavicle. Sat and talked and answered all my questions Amazing! I would definitely use him again if needed. So happy ending even if it took 6 months to get proper care. Bonus points: Besides being a great surgeon he is a hottie!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
8 ReactionsOh sorry I didn’t realize I was rambling!
Dr P is respected amongst his peers. Reviews show that he is one of the best in the State.
But he’s a jerk. Maybe being near the top of the pile he thinks he knows better.
Even if he’s laughing about it I still would like to know what size it is. It could be real small or large but I don’t know that.
There are a lot of vascular surgeons around me to pick from and perhaps I should start “shopping “ for somebody with good bedside manners. Somebody to take me seriously
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions