How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Jake my friend I know you are watching this discussion and I'm thinking this might tickle your funny bone.

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that Helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 Years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’

A married man is shopping in a mall for a christmas present for
his wife because he had forgotten to buy it until the day
arrived.
He walks into a pet store to get a unique and unusual
present for his wife. He looks through the categories of
animals, but can’t find anything, so he asks an assistant if
there is anything unique in the store because he needs to find
something quick.
The assistant thinks for awhile then says,”yes,
we have a parrot that can sing christmas carols.” The man
becomes ecstatic about this and asks the assistant to show him
the parrot.
As he is shown the parrot, the assistant tells him
that the parrot’s name is Chet and the parrot will only sing if
you warm up his feet with a match. So the assistant pulls out a
match and lights it, he then puts it under the parrots foot.
This causes the parrot to sing “Jingle bells”, and the man say,”
Wow, i’ve never seen anything like this.” The man then asks if
the parrot can sing anything else. The assistant puts the match
under Chet’s left foot. Chet then sings “silent night”. The man
is amazed and buys Chet.
He takes Chet home and shows his wife
everything that it can do, and she’s amazed. The wife asks what
would happen if they put the match between Chet’s legs. He
replies,” I don’t know, lets try it.” Without saying more they
light a match and put it between Chet’s legs. Then Chet clears
his throat and starts singing, Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire…

@loribmt Sooo funny Lori. An African Grey parrot owned me for many years so I can really relate to that story. He/she had a vocabulary of 500+ words or phrases but alas, could only whistle the main theme from Phantom of the Opera or sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. No Christmas carols. Lol. He/she also whistled a perfect rendition of the theme from TV's Two and a Half Men. We had to watch what we said around him. No swear words. One time when I was hospitalized and my sister had to care for him, he gave her puritan reputation away when I got home and he was constantly repeating his newly acquired reprimand of "Little bugger!" (can I say that on Mayo Connect?) in a very scolding kind of way.

😂😂 Oh my gosh, @artist01 I can so relate to this story of your parrot. We had a cantankerous African Grey parrot named Poe for over 35+ years! Also a huge vocabulary that he absolutely understood!! He’d mimic our baby daughter cries so I thought there were twins on either end of the house. I’d run to check to see and he’d go “ha ha ha” knowing he fooled me again! LOL.
He’d imitate squeaks in our old floors to make it sound like someone was walking around in the house. He’d sweet talk people into coming over closer to talk by saying, “My name is Poe! I can talk, can you fly?” He’d toss in a “Scratch my head”. Then when they’d get to him he’d yell, “Back off bucko! Then laugh!!! He was hilarious. Told us when it was time to go to bed, he’d sing songs, hum, mimic the beeps from the microwave, keys jingling, zippers on jackets, doors opening, my husband saying, Bye, See ya later! Never a dull moment!
We had friends babysit too. Amazing the stuff these birds bring home with them. LOL. Birds aren’t good at keeping secrets!! 😅

Jake my friend I know you are watching this discussion and I'm thinking this might tickle your funny bone.

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that Helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 Years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’

I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles!
No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen!

I finally did it! Bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles!
No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen!