How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Supposedly these are real Doctor's notes but I have not heard of anybody verifying that any one of them is real.

Actual Notes From Doctors' Patient Charts...
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
She is numb from her toes down.

Supposedly these are real Doctor's notes but I have not heard of anybody verifying that any one of them is real.

Actual Notes From Doctors' Patient Charts...
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
She is numb from her toes down.

ENGLISH IS HARD
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not obiect to the obiect.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

When I was teaching non-native speakers of English, how to read English, this type of discussion was always so difficult. And it wasn't any easier for those who grew up speaking English, but were now learning to read English!

There, their, they're
Bear [animal] and bear [carry]
Read [present tense], reed, read [past tense]
Ginger

Bare?
Forbear and hunting for bear.
Red

Anyone have some jokes to add, obviously they don’t have to be good jokes.

@jakedduck1
Do you know the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a unicycle? 🚲

Attire 🛞