OCD and Major Depression

I want to feel close to my younger sister. Her husband has untreated OCD so she's got her hands full but thought she'd understand. She has no interest in sharing anything with me. I'm the weird one. That will always be. Nobody cares I'm even alive. Maria.

I suggest that you discuss your medications with your doctor. It seems to me that they need adjusted. Perhaps a sleeping pill would help. I am a Roman Catholic. I pray my Rosary at night and meditate on scenes from Jesus' life until I fall asleep. I find that calms my racing mind. About six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a rare incurable disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. It is extremely painful and severely limits my quality of life. At first I was in shock. A couple of weeks later, the anxiety set in, and I felt myself standing on the precipice of that dark well of depression. I knew that if I fell in, I would have a very difficult time climbing out. I realized that my choice of thoughts was now critical. First, I reminded myself that I am God's child, and it is His job to take care of me, especially now that I almost cannot take care of myself. I have a terrific therapist, and she was able to help me considerably. It is a mistake to look to other people for love and support. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. We also have to remember that God loves us first and foremost. Instead of talking to other people, I bring all my hurts and fears to God who strengthens me. Our mental health issues are for Him to take care of. We can change our negative thoughts to positive ones. Other people will ALWAYS let us down. God won't. I have placed my life in God's hands, so He cares for me. My life still has purpose and meaning in His eyes, even though I was beginning to think I was worthless. WRONG! There are still things I can do, like pray for and support people in this group. Every life has value in God's eyes, and He loves us so much!!! I recall my mother asking, "What is wrong with you?" I could hear the shame in her voice. We need to remember that we suffer from a mental illness and that still carries a stigma in today's society, although it is much better than it was when I was a child in the 50's. Yes, it would be nice if our families were kind and understanding with us, but sometimes they are just incapable of it. Family often fear that they may succumb to the same condition, and some individuals actually think that mental illness is contagious!. The best advice I can give anyone suffering from depression is: 1. Faithfully take the medication your doctor has prescribed. Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right combo, so be patient; 2. Find a good therapist that you can trust and relate to; 3. Give your life to God as you know Him/Her. Pray a lot. Meditate on how much you are loved. Ask God to bring the right people into your life. Trust Him/Her; 4. Be grateful for even the little things; 5. Get your mind off yourself and find someone else to help. This worked for me, and I hope it helps all of you! Thanksgiving Blessings to all!!!

@mariajean03
Maria, you say "Nobody cares" but you also have faith in God. I just want to tell you what I realized a long time ago: It's wonderful if we can share with and be supported by others in this world. But here is the truth: we are ALL alone ultimately. Nobody accompanies you into this world and when you leave you will leave alone. But, God was with you before you got here, he's on this crazy ride with you now, and he will be with you when you leave. In other words, worldly relationships are temporary. Don't get too hung up on who likes/cares about you or doesn't. If you try to keep this in mind maybe you will feel better about your situation. (I know, it's much easier to say what is true than to make yourself believe it on a deep level. But it's good to try nonetheless.) Best, Hank

I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray for me. I fractured a bone in my neck and my neck is giving me fits and my head hurts--also, I feel dizzy! A lot of prayers would be appreciated from people. I appreciate your prayers! God bless you from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. woogie.

@mariajean03
Maria, you say "Nobody cares" but you also have faith in God. I just want to tell you what I realized a long time ago: It's wonderful if we can share with and be supported by others in this world. But here is the truth: we are ALL alone ultimately. Nobody accompanies you into this world and when you leave you will leave alone. But, God was with you before you got here, he's on this crazy ride with you now, and he will be with you when you leave. In other words, worldly relationships are temporary. Don't get too hung up on who likes/cares about you or doesn't. If you try to keep this in mind maybe you will feel better about your situation. (I know, it's much easier to say what is true than to make yourself believe it on a deep level. But it's good to try nonetheless.) Best, Hank

@woogie Sending prayers and blessings 🙏

@woogie Sending prayers and blessings 🙏

@mariajean03
Maria, in my family, pain is an alien term. Most of my 6 siblings and my parents have never been very sick and none have ever dealt with any long term pain. They also don't relate to unhappiness. They only relate to keeping things light, don't be too serious, don't be deep. Most do not know how to show any sort of deep affection either. They act like they care, in a superficial way and will show concern, as long as you don't demand too much of their time listening to some tale of woe. It's a funny bunch. Not bad people at all, just no experience of much bad in their lives and not much interest in unhappy or uncomfortable topics. Unlike your siblings, mine do not drink much, or have any addictions per se.

My wife is probably the sickest most pain-ridden person connected to my family. They make sure to sound caring and I know they intend to show compassion, just not to the point of dwelling on it too long. Because of this I often find it difficult to relate to some people in my family. I still love all of them, but I just know not to expect too much of them or more than is realistic.

I tell you this just to convey to you that it is probably not that uncommon for someone with a lot of health issues to not receive much caring and compassion from within their family circle. It might be good to just accept them for what they are and for what they have to offer and leave it at that. The way it sounds, you probably will get more emotional support and understanding on Mayo Connect than you will from your siblings.

But if I am in any way missing the mark as it applies to you, please feel free to discount this as you see fit. Best to you, Hank