OCD and Major Depression

mariajean03 Pies are good too! You say that your siblings are "fakey." Are they "fakey" towards you or just in general? I'm just curious if you are the family scapegoat or if this is just how they interact with one another? It's good you found a lady through a church but once a week doesn't seem that often. I'm sure you are grateful for that 1 hour.

COVID-19 has not been easy. Are there any other good suggestions you've received regarding how to connect more often with more people?

I'm over whelmed with all your suggestions! I'm looking into all your advice. And I'm also praying a lot. Thanks to all for caring so much. Maria.

None of them can express any sad feelings. They drink them away. And yes. I'm the scapegoat with all the problems! Thanks. Maria.

@mariajean03
Maria, in my family, pain is an alien term. Most of my 6 siblings and my parents have never been very sick and none have ever dealt with any long term pain. They also don't relate to unhappiness. They only relate to keeping things light, don't be too serious, don't be deep. Most do not know how to show any sort of deep affection either. They act like they care, in a superficial way and will show concern, as long as you don't demand too much of their time listening to some tale of woe. It's a funny bunch. Not bad people at all, just no experience of much bad in their lives and not much interest in unhappy or uncomfortable topics. Unlike your siblings, mine do not drink much, or have any addictions per se.

My wife is probably the sickest most pain-ridden person connected to my family. They make sure to sound caring and I know they intend to show compassion, just not to the point of dwelling on it too long. Because of this I often find it difficult to relate to some people in my family. I still love all of them, but I just know not to expect too much of them or more than is realistic.

I tell you this just to convey to you that it is probably not that uncommon for someone with a lot of health issues to not receive much caring and compassion from within their family circle. It might be good to just accept them for what they are and for what they have to offer and leave it at that. The way it sounds, you probably will get more emotional support and understanding on Mayo Connect than you will from your siblings.

But if I am in any way missing the mark as it applies to you, please feel free to discount this as you see fit. Best to you, Hank

@mariajean03 That's a tough place to be. Do you have any sibling you feel closer to?

its been a while sence my divorce. it played such a significant role in my life I often refer to it as something possitive.i was single for 10 years. I finally went on e harmony and I met my partner 13 years ago. There just wasnt no escaping the losers until I got help! .
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I'm sorry to hear your wife is so sick. Can I ask how she suffers? You're right. My family do not want to hear anything negative. I can't help it, but depression brings that out in me. What has happened to caring about the less fortunate? Thank God He loves me. I am so blessed to still have my faith. Maria.

I want to feel close to my younger sister. Her husband has untreated OCD so she's got her hands full but thought she'd understand. She has no interest in sharing anything with me. I'm the weird one. That will always be. Nobody cares I'm even alive. Maria.

Maria "you" are way to hard on yourself.when you say nobody cares if you're even alive. I use to have a very very low opinion of myself too. I think its because we dont give ourselfs enough credit for the things we do. We have to be our own advocates sometimes and seek out the help we need for ourselfs.No one should have to live in an enviroment that tears down our positivity. I had to learn the hard way with my family. I dont talk to my sisters about my day to day life.We will just share words about how everybodyis doing and here lately its been about trying to avoid getting covid 19.I live in Sellersburg Indiana.Its 12miles north of Louisvilly Ky. Private message me for my phone number. You can call me and dont be surprised to learn how much we have in common.I hate hearing about how much you are going through and I just want to try and help you get your spunk back....marcie
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I suggest that you discuss your medications with your doctor. It seems to me that they need adjusted. Perhaps a sleeping pill would help. I am a Roman Catholic. I pray my Rosary at night and meditate on scenes from Jesus' life until I fall asleep. I find that calms my racing mind. About six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a rare incurable disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. It is extremely painful and severely limits my quality of life. At first I was in shock. A couple of weeks later, the anxiety set in, and I felt myself standing on the precipice of that dark well of depression. I knew that if I fell in, I would have a very difficult time climbing out. I realized that my choice of thoughts was now critical. First, I reminded myself that I am God's child, and it is His job to take care of me, especially now that I almost cannot take care of myself. I have a terrific therapist, and she was able to help me considerably. It is a mistake to look to other people for love and support. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. We also have to remember that God loves us first and foremost. Instead of talking to other people, I bring all my hurts and fears to God who strengthens me. Our mental health issues are for Him to take care of. We can change our negative thoughts to positive ones. Other people will ALWAYS let us down. God won't. I have placed my life in God's hands, so He cares for me. My life still has purpose and meaning in His eyes, even though I was beginning to think I was worthless. WRONG! There are still things I can do, like pray for and support people in this group. Every life has value in God's eyes, and He loves us so much!!! I recall my mother asking, "What is wrong with you?" I could hear the shame in her voice. We need to remember that we suffer from a mental illness and that still carries a stigma in today's society, although it is much better than it was when I was a child in the 50's. Yes, it would be nice if our families were kind and understanding with us, but sometimes they are just incapable of it. Family often fear that they may succumb to the same condition, and some individuals actually think that mental illness is contagious!. The best advice I can give anyone suffering from depression is: 1. Faithfully take the medication your doctor has prescribed. Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right combo, so be patient; 2. Find a good therapist that you can trust and relate to; 3. Give your life to God as you know Him/Her. Pray a lot. Meditate on how much you are loved. Ask God to bring the right people into your life. Trust Him/Her; 4. Be grateful for even the little things; 5. Get your mind off yourself and find someone else to help. This worked for me, and I hope it helps all of you! Thanksgiving Blessings to all!!!