Alzheimers: When should someone not be left alone?

Aww, I have a Staffy mix who’s name is Gabby. She’s a rescue as all my others have been. She is the one one the right. I was reading through this because my father suffered this ghastly disease. His mother and two brothers were also diagnosed before death. I tested positive for the APEO 4 gene. Scary, although I know it’s not a promise that I’ll suffer also. The most frightening thing is that I’m so aware of the early signs now since we were able to have hindsight on Daddy’s, I am recognizing signs in myself. I have a girlfriend who talks with me and acknowledges that she has seen them too. I can’t get my family to agree and take it seriously.

Hello @debrat1 Love your pups! I have a rescue Lab and our daughter will be getting a rescue this Friday! I got Napa when a family got a pup as a 'gift' and then tired of her.

I wish you the best and agree that the future is never known to any of us.

On the topic of family recognizing, acknowledging, etc. our health journeys I am reminded of the fact we can not change those things that are out of our control. Throughout my wife's 14+ year journey there were those who consistently thought she was not 'really' ill or that I was just an alarmist when they'd ask 'how is she doing?' and I would answer honestly.

Glad you have your pups! I love their love!

Strength, courage, and peace

Aww, so cute! I just hate it when people are so callous and decide to throw away an animal like trash. If your not going to be responsible then don’t get one. I agree. Ill tag you @gingerw to keep in loop. I kept telling mom that something was up with dad and she wouldn’t accept it. It even took me awhile. It’s strange looking back. Daddy was such an easy going, beloved and fun person who seldom lost his temper or said anything against others. There were several instances that I thought wow that is so unlike my dad. I remember exactly though when I realized something was definitely wrong though. He and mom were at my house and we, my mother and I, were discussing something about his mothers cooking being so good when I was small. When I say there was an explosion I’m not exaggerating. Out of the blue he exploded and jumped up screaming at me not to ever talk about his mother again and kept telling my mother to come on because he was leaving. I was dumbfounded. He went out the door. I told mom to wait and went after him. He was standing by the porch and I asked him what was wrong and if he’d sit down with me for a minute. I believe he was as confused as I was. He did sit and I asked him what was wrong and he said something about his mom again. I told him no one was talking bad and how much we all loved her. Then it was over. He came in and they stayed until the visit was over when it originally was going to be. I took mom aside and asked her about it. She aid he’d been doing strange things more often. That’s when I told her he has to see and doctor and can’t let it continue without knowing. I lost him a piece at a time after that. Long, slow and painful. One night my mom called me around 1:00am and says daddy has lost it and shoving her. I could hear him through the phone ranting. So not my father, he was gentle and my mother and him were best friends. I never heard a real argument between them. I live about two hours away from home there. I told her to tell daddy I wanted to talk to him. She told him and he got on the phone mad. He’s shouting she wouldn’t let him have the keys to the car. I was able to talk him down until he was calm and back to normal. He gave my mom the phone and I asked if she thought I should go over. She said no she thinks he’ll be fine now. I called the next morning and we discussed it. I explained that she can’t have him be physically combative towards you. He doesn’t mean it but that she could be hurt. It happened again in the middle of one night and we went through the same scenario. I told her after that, if it happens again she has to accept we will need to do something about it. My whole family are law enforcement officers and I’m well aware of something called a Baker Act. I’m sure everyone is aware too. I told her we were going to have to get him to the hospital and get him expedited help for not only her safety but his. A month or so later I drove over at 3:00 am in the rain after talking him down again. I got there and told daddy I wasn’t well and needed to go to the hospital and needed his help to go. I wanted this calm. When we got there I asked him to sit with mom a minute. Let me say this was not anything she wanted. I can’t explain how difficult it was for me. My daddy and I were very very close. I was his standing for a son. The oldest of two girls but a big tomboy. Daddy took me fishing, taught me basketball, took me to the place where the guys played pool and everywhere else I wanted with him. We were buddies. Anyway, I went in and explained the situation so they could have a heads up in case it went south. He was very calm and accepting. I think he understood.
This has gone on longer than I realized. I’ll finish in a later post but just wanted you to hear about my experience. Thanks!

Aww, so cute! I just hate it when people are so callous and decide to throw away an animal like trash. If your not going to be responsible then don’t get one. I agree. Ill tag you @gingerw to keep in loop. I kept telling mom that something was up with dad and she wouldn’t accept it. It even took me awhile. It’s strange looking back. Daddy was such an easy going, beloved and fun person who seldom lost his temper or said anything against others. There were several instances that I thought wow that is so unlike my dad. I remember exactly though when I realized something was definitely wrong though. He and mom were at my house and we, my mother and I, were discussing something about his mothers cooking being so good when I was small. When I say there was an explosion I’m not exaggerating. Out of the blue he exploded and jumped up screaming at me not to ever talk about his mother again and kept telling my mother to come on because he was leaving. I was dumbfounded. He went out the door. I told mom to wait and went after him. He was standing by the porch and I asked him what was wrong and if he’d sit down with me for a minute. I believe he was as confused as I was. He did sit and I asked him what was wrong and he said something about his mom again. I told him no one was talking bad and how much we all loved her. Then it was over. He came in and they stayed until the visit was over when it originally was going to be. I took mom aside and asked her about it. She aid he’d been doing strange things more often. That’s when I told her he has to see and doctor and can’t let it continue without knowing. I lost him a piece at a time after that. Long, slow and painful. One night my mom called me around 1:00am and says daddy has lost it and shoving her. I could hear him through the phone ranting. So not my father, he was gentle and my mother and him were best friends. I never heard a real argument between them. I live about two hours away from home there. I told her to tell daddy I wanted to talk to him. She told him and he got on the phone mad. He’s shouting she wouldn’t let him have the keys to the car. I was able to talk him down until he was calm and back to normal. He gave my mom the phone and I asked if she thought I should go over. She said no she thinks he’ll be fine now. I called the next morning and we discussed it. I explained that she can’t have him be physically combative towards you. He doesn’t mean it but that she could be hurt. It happened again in the middle of one night and we went through the same scenario. I told her after that, if it happens again she has to accept we will need to do something about it. My whole family are law enforcement officers and I’m well aware of something called a Baker Act. I’m sure everyone is aware too. I told her we were going to have to get him to the hospital and get him expedited help for not only her safety but his. A month or so later I drove over at 3:00 am in the rain after talking him down again. I got there and told daddy I wasn’t well and needed to go to the hospital and needed his help to go. I wanted this calm. When we got there I asked him to sit with mom a minute. Let me say this was not anything she wanted. I can’t explain how difficult it was for me. My daddy and I were very very close. I was his standing for a son. The oldest of two girls but a big tomboy. Daddy took me fishing, taught me basketball, took me to the place where the guys played pool and everywhere else I wanted with him. We were buddies. Anyway, I went in and explained the situation so they could have a heads up in case it went south. He was very calm and accepting. I think he understood.
This has gone on longer than I realized. I’ll finish in a later post but just wanted you to hear about my experience. Thanks!

Thank you for the first half of the story. Was he diagnosed with Alzheimer’s? Do these outbursts happen to most Alzheimer’s people? This scares me. So far my sister is quiet and compliant. She has had dementia for about 7 years. Is this something my husband and I need to watch and prepare for? Sallysue

Thank you for the first half of the story. Was he diagnosed with Alzheimer’s? Do these outbursts happen to most Alzheimer’s people? This scares me. So far my sister is quiet and compliant. She has had dementia for about 7 years. Is this something my husband and I need to watch and prepare for? Sallysue

Thank you. That is very helpful. It just sends me into panic mode to think of the future of my sister who is very healthy. We did manage to have the driving talk with her and she admitted that she didn’t need the car since we go everywhere together. My husband talked to her from the financial aspect that it was an 11 year old car and she would never get a better price on it than now while it was in good shape. Our niece was looking for a car and offered the Bluebook price for it and my sister jumped on it to help her out! It was all legitimate but slightly staged by having the whole thing worked out before we started the talks. She was sad to have it pull away from the house but she was genuinely relieved that she didn’t have the upkeep on it to worry about and had all this money in her bank account. God was in it ALL. So I guess if she becomes confrontational or violent we shall depend on Him again. Plan B is to sell the house, split the money and get her in somewhere nearby where my husband and I can live separately from her. The only new thing with her is that she sleeps SO much. Thanks for talking with me. I feel so much better and calmer telling you the car story and remembering that it may all work out to the positive too. Thank you.

Hi @providence1960 'horrible disease' for sure! In so many ways! You are right about the stress of something as simple as your phone ringing! Great to read you have some help -- what a difference that can make!

Strength, courage, and peace

My mom is on a roller coaster...she told me if her caregiver ever comes again she will throw her out! That’s what she tells me but than she tells the caregiver not to leave until I’m back home. I know there is humor in there somewhere! I’m so comforted by this group.