Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

I still say all families should stay together as much as possible. Christians know the Lord says to honor and respect your parents or it will not go well. We all need to love one another and look for all ways to respect and remember each other. No excuses Just how I feel.

Have the same feeling....don't know what to do either....wish sometimes I wouldn't even wake in the morning....some people can deal with that much stress....or they hide it well....I don't.....at a total loss of what I can do to get myself out of this.....

Hi! Just for clarification, I keep the extent of my down times and depression from my children. I don’t have it daily, but can have some tough times, but this is for my counselor, husband, and adults I can share with. 😊

I do understand your feelings of sometimes not wanting to wake up in the morning. What you have to do is look in the mirror, talk it out and then you tell yourself I matter. I make a difference. People love, care and depend on me. For me I say “Satan you are NOT going to control me and I’m not going to believe your lies! Not today Satan, not today!! I grab my journal and I make myself come up with 5 things I’m grateful for. Some days the list is full of great things and some days I can only come up with things like coffee, my chair, etc. We are all here to reach out to and I’m here anytime you want to chat!

I could never tell my adult children how badly I am feeling as my problems are not theirs. Likely I would be out of the loop completely. My children owe me nothing just because I am their mother. I love them and cherish any time I get with them. All 15 minutes away. Maybe if I were rich with a lot to leave them it would be
different. My youngest does
come by and is thankful I do not need to move in with them. Something to be
said in my favor. I know mothers that guilt trip their children. Not something I would do as I have been there 🙁. A global statement from where I am. Not in anyway an attack. I live in a different world. I would rather be working.

I do understand your feelings of sometimes not wanting to wake up in the morning. What you have to do is look in the mirror, talk it out and then you tell yourself I matter. I make a difference. People love, care and depend on me. For me I say “Satan you are NOT going to control me and I’m not going to believe your lies! Not today Satan, not today!! I grab my journal and I make myself come up with 5 things I’m grateful for. Some days the list is full of great things and some days I can only come up with things like coffee, my chair, etc. We are all here to reach out to and I’m here anytime you want to chat!

It was ok. I was thrilled when they put me to sleep 😂
Praise God they didn’t find cancer! They did find out several other issues such as IBS, Diverticulitis, damaged colon, etc. I may have surgery in the future but not now that I know of. Thanks for asking. It means a lot!

Oh how I understand. We moms sometimes just need our adult kids to take time for us, listen to us....really listen and care, don’t fix it just tell us things like: “mom that must be so hard for you, how can I best help you?” Or: “gosh mom, I didn’t realize you have the amount of chronic pain you have and how it’s so easy for you to feel invisible.”

I’m in my late 50’s, and I’ve had to tell our 3 kids (22-29) that sometimes I need them to do this, and I give them specific examples of what would be good ways to also pour into me, as my husband and I do for them.

I know it’s common for we older moms to feel invisible and like we don’t have much to offer anymore. It makes sense! We spent YEARS and thousands of hours “directing household traffic” and then it can feel like we’re no longer needed in so many ways.

Yes, I do agree with the fact that we were probably all that way in our 20’s, but it can be talked through so that even our needs can be met.

Our 33 year old son in law, and his 2 adult brothers, still to this day talk on the phone with their parents once/week! Every Sunday around dinner time. They let the parents FT with the grandkids. At first I thought this was controlling on his parents’ part, and just plain weird. But now having heard some of these conversations, and see him FT them, it is such a blessing on both sides. They are connected in a way they never otherwise would be.

You’re not invisible because I see you and care about you! And so do many others on here. 💗

@kdo0827
I am so pleased to hear that the colonoscopy did not reveal cancer. You must be relieved. It does sound like there are some diagnoses that might be managed.

Do you have a follow up with your doctor to discuss the results?