Doing things to relieve depression... Motivation and ideas

Posted by mscosette @mscosette, Mar 22, 2018

Hi I just started with Mayo Clinic connect yesterday. I noticed a couple people commented on motivation. This is something that I definitely can relate to and would like to discuss with others.
I have struggled with depression since my teens I and now 57 I've been seeing a wonderful psychiatrist for many years, take depression meds, and have been in and out of therapy. My clinical depression is pretty well controlled.
However I am finding myself very lonely and vulnerable.
And I want to fight this. There are things I know I need to do that would help me. But I'm not doing them.
Basically I sleep, work, watch TV and overeat at times.
My goals right now are to exercise, do what I need to do to be around people more. Really anything rather than watching television all evening would be better for me.
What has worked for other people? I thought it would be helpful to have people that I can share these types of issues with.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@parus

Lonely and vulnerable are uncomfortable. I am lonely because of not wanting to be vulnerable to others. The old push me, pull me thing. I am in too much physical pain to volunteer. I try to get motivated to do things and can not find a valid enough reason to try and accomplish anything-why bother?

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Hi @jo2010, I'm glad that you came back to share how another member's post made you feel. You are quite right that discussion forums have limitations. We only have words, and sometimes images, to demonstrate empathetic listening. We can't see body language, which is so important in human connection and interaction. But the online communication has benefits too, especially for introverts or when it is difficult to find someone nearby who understands.

Thank you for taking the time to review Gemmax posting history and to recognize that she is a frequent post-er, and an empathetic and supportive person. At the risk of speaking on her behalf, I interpreted her phrase "I wouldn’t even consider quoting platitudes to you." to mean that she recognized that Parus and anyone who is suffering from past and present injustices deserves more than platitudes, and not as a reflection of something you shared with Parus to support her.

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your job. I admire your strength in returning to Connect at this particularly vulnerable time and encourage you to give the members and the community another chance.

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@parus

Lonely and vulnerable are uncomfortable. I am lonely because of not wanting to be vulnerable to others. The old push me, pull me thing. I am in too much physical pain to volunteer. I try to get motivated to do things and can not find a valid enough reason to try and accomplish anything-why bother?

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Hello @jo2010

I also want to thank you for your post. I agree with Colleen that online support groups do have their advantages and disadvantages. Your post reflected that understanding. I hope that after some time, you will feel comfortable about returning to Connect. We appreciate each of our Members as they express their thoughts and feelings and you are certainly welcome to post whenever you feel like coming back.

I also want to wish you well as you seek new employment. I know how difficult that can be. I wish you well and do look forward to hearing from you again in the future.

Teresa

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I joined a Meetup group with people who have similar interests it’s obly about15 people we are reading the52 lists with weekly goals and thought provoking ideas being with others helps my symptoms of depression which peaks in the winter

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Congratulations on keeping your depression in check. Like you I’m 57 and experienced major depression after a series of traumatic life events which caused me to take time off from work. Then my (58) year old sister got insanely jealous my dad was helping me financially for the first time ever and ostracized me from my family five years and this is when the suicidal ideation presented, I was terrified, I isolated and couldn’t believe my entire family believed my sisters lies.

During the worst of it I went to Northwestern University’s Intensive Outpatient program. 4 days per week for 3 hours for 3 months. The group teaching subject that helped me the most was DBT Therapy or also called Distress Tolerance.

It was almost immediate that when I read accepting your situation versus fighting against It lessons suffering. There are many useful mindfulness exercises which when encorported DO elevate the pain. It takes practice but taught in a group forum you meet new people and incorporte very useful tools to combat the depression that tries to take our lives away.

Distress tolerance and radical acceptance reduce pain from depression significantly but you must be diligent in incorporating these easy exercises throughout your day.

I’m taking the class again it helped so much. Behavior Health Centers associated with major medical centers typically offer free or greatly reduced pricing.

Like you I must exercise more also.

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@anneterese True that if one can accept an uncomfortable situation and not fight or try to fix it the pain lessens. I have a difficult time maintaining thus due to PTSD and all that goes with it. I am a loner for the most part as I don't want to be vulnerable. I tell myself there are things that cannot be changed or fixed and this helps me.

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@anneterese

Congratulations on keeping your depression in check. Like you I’m 57 and experienced major depression after a series of traumatic life events which caused me to take time off from work. Then my (58) year old sister got insanely jealous my dad was helping me financially for the first time ever and ostracized me from my family five years and this is when the suicidal ideation presented, I was terrified, I isolated and couldn’t believe my entire family believed my sisters lies.

During the worst of it I went to Northwestern University’s Intensive Outpatient program. 4 days per week for 3 hours for 3 months. The group teaching subject that helped me the most was DBT Therapy or also called Distress Tolerance.

It was almost immediate that when I read accepting your situation versus fighting against It lessons suffering. There are many useful mindfulness exercises which when encorported DO elevate the pain. It takes practice but taught in a group forum you meet new people and incorporte very useful tools to combat the depression that tries to take our lives away.

Distress tolerance and radical acceptance reduce pain from depression significantly but you must be diligent in incorporating these easy exercises throughout your day.

I’m taking the class again it helped so much. Behavior Health Centers associated with major medical centers typically offer free or greatly reduced pricing.

Like you I must exercise more also.

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Thanks for your post. I googled Distress Tolerance and there is good info. there. The more we can learn as we fight our battles the better!!
Ainsleigh

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I am a visual artist and there are many kinds of art projects that would be helpful, even if it were one of those coloring books for adults. They come in all kinds of formats: easy to high level. You can use colored pens, crayons, paint, whatever you want. A sketch book is also helpful. You don't have to be a master artist to draw. Just get those tools out and draw whatever comes to mind. Many think they do not have artistic talent, but actually they do. I recently found a book called, "Vintage Years" that addresses the issues one faces when they turn 60. It talks about opening up your mind to new things, almost like being a kid again. Creativity can be a wonderful outlet and one can try new things that they may have wanted to do in the past but were afraid to do so. For example, do you play an instrument or do you want to learn how? I am thinking about taking piano lessons, even though I have no idea how to play and my hearing is not that great. It's all about being open to new ideas and experimenting with those you may find interest in that you were afraid to approach before. Good luck! Maybe there is a community art center in your area that offers classes....

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I understand. It's difficult, and for me especially so since I lost my beloved dog in March.
I am a visual artist and avid gardener and prolific reader. As I mentioned in an earlier post I mentioned that my art has been a very good way to ease both my anxiety and depression associated with losing my dog and also being diagnosed with an orphan disease. I do have a therapist, via teletherapy and that has helped. However, my art, gardening and music have been most helpful. Deep breathing also is a good thing to do and easy to learn, which I just learned. Pick up a pen or pencil and get some paper and just sketch whatever comes to mind. Don't worry about trying to be Van Gogh. I also paint rocks, and that is an easy and inexpensive thing to do. I recently found a magazine, Breathe Memory which has articles about wellness, kindness, mindfulness and inspiration. The magazine is published by http://www.breathemagazine.com. I would suggest you try to find a copy of this publication as I have found it to be very useful. I read it sporadically and just last night I came up with another idea about how to ease my stress and depression about what is happening in my life.
I wish you the best, and hope you will find the strength you need to get back on your feet. Also, for what it is worth, my 83 year old neighbor who has a wealth of experience, recently told me about a mantra by Emil Coue that I practice everyday and it is: "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better," I actually made a sign that is in my entrance way with this mantra. Try saying it 20 or even 50 times and it may help you "get out of your body" so to speak. If you are unfamiliar with Emil Coue, there is a good discussion about him on Wikipedia. I was a skeptic at first, but now I have noticed how much of a difference it has made.
Taking short walks is also therapeutic. There is still a lot of beauty in our world, just look around you and you will notice so many things when your mind and eyes are wide open. I understand that sometimes big changes take time, try taking baby steps and then you can progress to bigger and better things to improve your life and outlook. Best, Frances007

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Great!
I just posted another comment and mentioned a magazine, Breathe Memory, which has many valuable articles and I would recommend that you find a copy. The site is: http://www.breathemagazine.com.
I just painted some rocks for my garden this morning. That is another fun, easy and inexpensive activity to help with anxiety and depression. I also collect, dry and press flowers to make greeting cards, another fun activity that gets me motivated to walk and look for items to press. Best of luck

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It also covers statements that someone who is depressed might find helpful to hear.
Tell Them You Care. ...
Remind Them You're There for Them. ...
Ask How You Can Help. ...
Urge Them to Talk With a Doctor. ...
Ask Them If They Want to Talk. ...
Remind Them That They Matter. ...
Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do)

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