@2011panc, "10,000 to 50,000 people." I think Murphys is about 2,300, but up and down Highway 4 there are a lot of people not included in the count. In our whole county there's around 48,500 people and it's a fair piece of ground. I think Angels Camp on my other side is about 5,000 something. The other big town is Arnold which is up higher about 4,000 ft. and the population is about 3,800. This is a popular vacation area for the people down in the SF Bay Area.
A picture of my little place.
This is good therapy for me so I'm not really off track here.

@muppey I live in Ohio. I was in Alabama for 10 years I think it was, and moved back because I missed my family. I now miss the warm weather in Alabama. I hate the cold but my family is more important to me.

@muppey Funny you should mention the stop smoking stuff. I am doing the same thing but I have the patch. I have been doing great for 2 weeks not smoking now I am having panic attacks. I get mad at myself because I have tried this several times and the panic attacks come back no matter what I try. I tried Welbutriun and after a month it made me mean and I am not a mean person at all. So back to doctor soon to get something for these attacks and then try again. Good luck with yours. I hope it works for you because I know who much better I feel when I don't smoke. God Bless

@littleonefmohio, Should have guessed...it's in your name there?? On the smoking I'm wondering if I can do it. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened.
Another thing is I don't want another seizure experience and I know I'm giving up another 'friend' which comforts me. OK weird. But it's also weird waking up in the ER. I do have anti-seizure meds so I hope that's enough.
AA warned us not to try everything in one go. "Smoke if you need to and stop when you get better!"
Don't know why every thing gets all screwed up in such a short time. I've read other peoples situations and mine isn't near theirs. But it is my problem so it seems important to me and maybe no one else gives a hoot.

Hope you have success in quitting. I've been thinking about this for a good while now even way before the roof caved in.
I'll say another prayer for you, might become a habit as I'm doing that for my x, not that I want her back here to much lying.

I went back to doctor today because of the panic attacks. She gave me Xanax to take as needed which is great because I did not want to be on anything long term. Thanks for the prayers God knows I need them.

@littleonefmohio, OK, call me weak, I just got back from the store where I bought five cigars. Fat ones. I've been sucking on those nicotine lozenges and that's no fun. Not a candy sucker either.
Don't follow my example, this is the first day. I hope you're able to stop smoking.
How's the heart ache doing? You doing any better? These things hang on for far to long. How do you get a loved one out of your mind along with missing them?
Still hurts here but it's getting more like spring and the pear trees trying to blossom.
Today I got an email from Mary's sister, it was nice, they find and rebuild really rare old house trailers. It's kind of amazing because Dan snoops these trailers out and when he gets there the things are sometimes partly buried and total wrecks. He brought one to a Murphys show at a fancy winery so naturally we went to see the thing. It was amazing what the guy did on that trailer. What got me is the thing had a littleone log wood burner just tucked up and fire safe.
I replied to them and told them I wouldn't be going down to Lodi for their next show in April, not supposed to drive and it's to far for me.
Anyway I'll keep your stop smoking in mind. And I will not promise I'll stop, but I will say I'll try. To much money anyway.
Take care!
Mark

@littleonefmohio

Panic attacks are awful. I had a particularly bad one Tuesday night. I finally got up and went to the family room to the recliner for the rest of the night. If I'd known how bad it was going to be and how long it was going to last, I'd have taken a second Klonopin. I was sure I was dying.

Jim

@jimhd Hi Jim. Yes they are awful. I am sorry you are going through them. You would think I would remember that I get those stupid things everytime I try and quit smoking but I don't until it happens. I guess I am concentrating on other too much to think about it. Have a good day.

@muppey I get lost on these boards so I apologize for not responding earlier. I started smoking after I had the panic attack to try and calm me down. I will try around April 1st since I have something to knock those panic attacks away. Those nicotine lozenges are nasty, yuck! So is the gum so don't try it either..haha. I hope you make it so you don't smoke but if you don't you don't . I have tried so many times and I always go back smoking. I do not handle stress very well so smoking is my crutch to handle stress.

@kathy4385 Hi. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can say I know a little bit of how you feel as I felt the same when I lost my fiance to cancer. Never believed he would die on me but that is because I did not want to believe it. I felt very alone. Grieving lead to me sitting at home drinking and doing nothing else but that and crying. I reached out to the only person who was close to where I lived and that was my ex husband. I have to admit it he was a God send as he really helped to get through it. Even though he is a butt head most the time and we are so different he did help me. Then when I started keeping my little granddaughter after just 2 weeks old I knew I would be ok. My furbaby was also a comfort at times. I really did not grieve much after that because of estate and problems with his children that I thought liked me. I still have my moments. I know if it was not for God, my grand baby, and my fur babies I would be at home constantly drinking. I will pray God will take care of your broken heart for you. God bless