@2011panc
Hi again! Funny how we are so different. I shiver to think that I'd have to live in the city again. I consider the whole SF Peninsula a big city. From Silicon Valley to the Golden Gate.
Here in Murphys is fine with me. Not much work up here for me now that I'm no longer a contractor, that got real slow after all the carpenters got laid off in 2007. August of 2007 I came home and told Mary, "Honey, I think we're in a depression." So many trucks stopped going past my house. And so many contractors doing anything to make a buck. I had a good niche going because the other contractors would not look at a small job, then, all gone. Other things but that's to long.
I had some money back then so weathered it until about last May when I was trying to figure out, do I spend here or there. Oh well.
I kind of think that was one reason Mary left. Hard times come and whatever...!

I cheated on my mowing this year by using a lot of round up. I didn't think I'd have the strength to do it all. I was able to cut some paths so Jon and Mary could reach the rear door without getting their wet feet carrying her furniture out. Mower is still where I stopped.
I grew some daffodils in Montara, CA where I lived for about 15 years. Small place on the coast just north of Half Moon Bay, CA. One day I went to look at them and someone had helped themselves. All gone!
Mark

@2011panc, Way back I wanted to study horticulture at the College of San Mateo. To late! Had two sons, and the study was 5 years solid. CSM was one of the highest rated horticulture studies in the nation. Did you have gophers? I like gladiolas too. One day I was looking at them and they started going down. What the heck? I walked over there and it was a gopher munching away. Oh well!
Good thing creatures don't like daffodils. Guess that wasn't your growing problem. Wonder what it was? To wet? They'll rot with standing water or to much water. Don't think they need much water other than natural rain and good drainage. Have you tried potting them? They do good that way.

Getting off subject here, I'm supposed to be depressed and I'm talking flowers.
Hah Hah, to bad I'm feeling a little better every day. Still hurts a lot but what can I do?
Take care and a little prayer.
Mark

@muppey I am in the Midwest, so when I say town I mean 10,000 to 50,000 people. The town we live in used to be 5 miles across. It has grown some so my guess now would be that it is 7 to 10 miles across. Not densely populated either, so manageable for me. More manageable for me here than for my husband in the country. Too bad about the daffodils at your other place. One of my meditation points is a hillside full of daffodils. That is always a happy place for me. Seriously though, enough with the cigars! You quit alcohol, you can quit cigars too. I promise your body will start healing itself within one day and you will feel better after a while. My husband quit both after we got together. For me it seemed harder for him to quit smoking, but he says they were both hard. The first time he tried to quit I bought him an entire paper grocery bag full of gum, mints and hard candies as an incentive. I did what I could to encourage him, but ultimately he is the one that did it. Just as you are the one that is going to have to kick your cigars. One tip a friend told me from a cessation class is to remove all evidence of smoking (even clean out the ash tray in the vehicle) and make it more difficult to smoke by intentionally changing your patterns. Such as, don't allow yourself to relax in the same chair where you used to sit and smoke whenever anyone called you; take your morning coffee outside and contemplate your unmown grass rather than sit at the table smoking while you have your coffee. Maybe these ideas will help you get started on quitting. I say that because I have seen how hard it is and most people are not able to quit and stay done the first time.
A trip of a thousand miles begins with the first step. So to every new thing we try. Good luck and Blessings.

@muppey no gophers here in town. We have had a couple moles. Little buggers! We also seem to have a wild warren of rabbits
somewhere in the neighborhood. I don't have to worry too much about them eating my plants, our cat loves to hunt them down and devour them! lol
We think we lost the daffodils because of a combination of large trees and their roots casting shade and sucking up moisture; hard winter freezes; and dry prairie atmosphere. The soil in our yard is not very good either. I call it gumbo, it is rather clay-like. So, as I said, we have other plants that do well in our "prairie" environment. Our house has awnings on all sun-facing windows and our windows were manufactured to reduce the amount of damaging rays from the sun entering our home. So, I cannot grow flowering plants or cacti without a grow light. I have pruned back my indoor plants since my transplant and only have one peace lily now.
You were depressed, but no one says you have to stay that way. Each day is 24 hours more away from the trauma, so it is right that the pain and memory should begin to fade a little for you. I am glad I distracted you with flowers! lol
Blessings.

@20011panc,
Can we post pictures here? I'm probably getting away from things but I really like flowers and my lilac bushes out front. One lady stopped and told me she used to come into the yard before people moved in, she'd cut some lilac. Now she drives by and admires the beauty. The grass grows tall and wet, but the lilac smells good and pretty. Should have told her to pick some.
We got a place not far from here in Amador County and the place is called Daffodil Hill. I'm going to attempt a picture here.

OK! Now I'm remembering I used to pick flowers for Mary and one day she told me "Those smell!" End of flowers. What's that all about? Sweet perfume instead of cigar smoke???
https://www.suttercreek.org/graphics/daffodil-hill-amador-county-sutter-creek.jpg
Guess no picture but I think this link will take you there. I'll try something else if this doesn't work.

@2011panc, Like I said the daffodils probably rotted in the clay soil. Daffodils like loamy soil and good drainage. Hope you like the link. There are more pictures if you just google Amador County, Daffodil Hill. Had something else to say but I lost this page and forgot it. If you get loamy potting soil and some good sized pots and just keep the pots damp, not wet they should do fine. Might be to late for you this season, don't know anything about "The lone prairie, where the coyotes howl and the wind blows free" sung by Eddy Arnold. Lost his records but can get it on youtube. Check with your nursery guy or look it up for your area on how to grow daffodils on the Prairie.
Just because I'm feeling cheered up doesn't mean I've put Mary away or anything, just dealing with it is all. Don't have enough water in the summer for a garden so I'm doing it here. My brother Phil called and we talked for about an hour. Mezi came by at around 8 am yesterday or the day before and we had a nice visit, talked for about two hours.
Hope I'm not upsetting anyone by trying a little cheer. Maybe it's just for me but I'd like you people to be happy and Blessed.
Mark

Hi, @muppey -- you sure can post pictures here on Connect. First, when you receive an email notifying you of a member's post in a discussion you are a part of, click on VIEW & REPLY in the email. This will take you to the particular post you are replying to on the site, where you will click on "reply," a white text box will come up, and you will see above the white text box "Add media." Click on that, and it will allow you to post a picture. I'd love to see your flowers and lilac bushes.

@2011panc, Serious stuff there panc. Hate it when the woman is right! Just kidding! I know I need to quit but it's like Shelly West singing her song, "Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine" In the song she gets blasted which I hate. But the idea is like these cigars are like a pacifier. I told one Doc that taking my cigars away would be as tough as taking a little kids pacifier away. It helps when I'm up until midnight now.
I'll do it but it's like they said at AA, don't try to quit everything in one go. You know, if I'm quitting my wife it's a little tough on me. Smoke if you need to and when it feels right to quit and the trauma of stopping drinking wears down then go ahead if you want.
I'm still missing Mary a lot and what can I say? The trauma is still there and my heart still hurts a lot. OK! I'm faking it here.
You can bug me about it once in a while, I won't bit you!
Right now the flowers make me happy. They were in full bloom when Mary picked up her stuff. Thousands of them.
Mark

It is nice to see someone having a little cheer as you say. Its good for the soul to be happy and laugh. God Bless.

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