@muppey Hi Mark:

I don't know much about bears and their hibernation, but I'm glad that you have had some good days. Grief is rather cyclical, all seems good one day and the next it can feel like you are at the beginning all over again. However, take heart you never go back to square one, even though it might feel that way.

Wishing you more good days and I'm wishing us all some spring weather (without snow thank you!).

Teresa

@hopeful33250
High Hope! Guess I should have been more clear. I should have said, "Do bearer's hibernate to get away from it all?" Or, "Do bare's (sic) hibernate to get away from it all?"
Another reason I was not cut out to be a comedian.

Hi, @muppey -- wondering how it's going? How are you feeling these days? Has your snow gone away completely now?

@harriethodgson1 -- also thinking of you and the grief you've gone through with the loss of your daughter 11 years ago. I can only imagine that hurts for a very long time.

How are you doing?

@hopeful33250
Hi, I haven't forgotten you guys, just, whatever, I don't know. Weather here is nice, 81' outside and for some reason it's 83' inside but a nice breeze blowing. Lilac is starting to bloom and I have a Tamarisk tree out front that blossoms pink, Dogwoods are blossoming and I have to cut the grass. Wish the horse didn't get bit by the stupid rattlesnake! Sarah was her name and she kept this place clean. Oh well!
I'll try to "keep coming back."
Mark

@muppey Hi Mark:

Thanks for checking in again. You were missed! Yes, the nice weather is great isn't it? I can smell the lilacs from here (I'm in Michigan so that is a ways). I'm sorry to hear that Sarah was bit by the rattlesnake - sounds like a personal loss and loss of some good help around the yard.

We have not hit 81 degrees here yet, but looking forward to it.

Teresa

@hopeful33250
Hi! Hope everyone on this forum is doing better than yesterday.
I'd post a pic of the lilac's but my disc drive won't drive, I got it to open but it stalls and won't communicate. The weather today is a bit cloudy and down to 76' but that's OK.
Sarah is missed, I felt bad for her because that bit was nasty and painful for her, guess she was munching grass as the bite was on her right cheek.
Strange how this thing ebbs and flows, like the tide. Why doesn't it just ebb and not flow? Time I guess.
Thanks for being a mentor.
Mark

Yes, really great to hear from you, @muppey. I could go for some lilac blooming here in MN. Still relatively brown and barren here, but warming, thankfully.

If things get fixed with your disc drive, please do post a pic.

Sorry to hear the horse got bitten by a rattlesnake. Scary and just awful.

You said something about this thing ebbing and flowing, like the tide. Are you speaking of your feelings following your wife leaving? How are things going with that?

@muppey Hi Mark, when your disc drive starts driving please send a photo. We are still not in bloom here in Michigan. Some of the daffodils went into hiding from an ice storm last weekend.

You are right about the ebb-and-flow thing.

Regarding being a mentor - it's a privilege and I know that I get far more than I give. So, in response to your thank-you, let me say a hearty your welcome!

Teresa

@lisalucier,
Hi Lisa, I'll see about fixing the disc drive. I think it's a dust thing because I track a lot of wood into the house, and there's smoke (not gonna talk about the creosote explosion again...until next time). I do try to keep the place clean but it's a country house and there's dust, dirt and whatever gets tracked in. Vents on the computer need cleaning often, if not I'll hear the cooling fan whirring trying to cool the thing.
This isn't new to anyone here I don't think! The ebb and flow is a reference to one day I feel ready to go and have a pleasant day, but then wake in the morning doing fine, then it hits, "it" sucks. I hate it when people tell me to "just get over it." OK, I'm over it but my body, soul, brain, spirit, heart and whatever's left don't believe me. Thought I was the boss???
The ER doctors thought I was crazy which made me mad and I talked back to them and told them I wasn't crazy, I know what happened.
There isn't much study on this ghosting phenom although it's been around forever, just not enough call for study or treatment. Talking with empathy whether you understand or not would f'n help. (not you) That'd be the treatment I'd prescribe if I was a Doc. But it would be better if the other person experienced the same thing. Mezi did experience that but she hasn't called back and I left it up to her. Her x comes by to help her with the kid and things but...I don't know, maybe that helps. I wouldn't let Mary back here, no kids so no talk needed.
"Get over it!" Kiss my grits!
Anyway I really appreciate this forum and all the people here. Wish we could all get to together and exclude all the unbelievers. HAHA, just kidding.
Mark

@muppey -- I cannot imagine at all how one would possibly "get over" that long of a marriage suddenly disappearing on you in a flash. I'd imagine it will be quite a process of grieving and going through many emotions. Allowing yourself to really feel it all -- sit in your sadness, if you will -- seems much healthier than trying to snap out of it. You sure seem like you are in a very "normal" place, given all that's transpired in your life not that long ago. I think you are taking good steps to go see a therapist, being concerned for having your weight up, etc. Sounds like you are working on good self care.

Have you done some research on "ghosting," then?