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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
I am so sorry for everyone that lost someone that they loved deeply. My dad has been gone since 2001. God i still miss him so much!! When he died, it was a shock to my whole family. Who would of thought he would die before my mother. My mother passed away three years later. She was in a nursing home for twenty-five years due to a stroke she had. My dad visited her every day come rain or come shine. I still am not over their passing away. They were good people. I still cry sometimes when i think of them and still have vivid dreams about them to this day. It got easier to deal with their loss with the help from my husband Mark who loss his mother a few years ago too. prayers for everyone who loss someone, Trudy
Replies to "I am so sorry for everyone that lost someone that they loved deeply. My dad has..."
@littleonefmohio,
Hi littleone. I haven't forgotten you, just had to check into crazy street for a while. Not really! I grabbed a stray dog and was busy taking care of him until the owners and I got connected. It happened yesterday and Jake the dog heard Cole's truck pulling into my yard and his ears perked up and they had a happy reunion. It was interesting the reaction I got from neighbors. I was pulling the posters from the stop signs and trees and stuff when I pulled into Darby Lane there was a car parked there which I ignored until a lady got out and came up to me wondering if I had found the owner. Yep! All's well. Another guy was working on a roof and he hollered at me, "You find the owner?" Yep! Came by yesterday. "Good" he said, "I like a happy ending."
Good fun and I'm getting a dangerous tree cut down because we talked, I mentioned the pine tree he looked at it and agreed it's got to come down. Then he said he'd get his tree cutting buddy over here after the storm and cut it down. Then I won't have to worry about it falling on my head one night, it's leaning way to much towards my bedroom. No charge too! Couldn't afford it anyway at the moment.
Some good things happen! Hope you're doing well! I get a bit lonesome here and start feeling bad for me but it's just something I'll deal with. Might go to an AA meeting tonight, I'm feeling good about that.
Be well and your husband too. Think I got that right??? Guess I should re-read your post's.
Mark
What a great experience. It appears that one good deed (finding the dog's owner) led to another good deed (getting your tree cut down). While it doesn't always work out so nicely I'm very pleased for you! A bit of encouragement is a good thing, we all need it.
Teresa
@hopeful33250,Yeah, I wasn't very happy with the bit of humanity I'm close to so yes this helped a lot. The owner, Cole, has been with the dog for five years and the reunion was a good thing to see. Guess some reunions work out.
Thanks for the boost. Still have you on my mind a lot and have a little list I keep.
Take care
Mark
@littleonefmohio,
I haven't ghosted you people because you are to fun. I can divert a little can't I?
My head is spinning with all sorts of info I've picked up and I feel like I've been through the old fashioned ringer. I still remember my Grandmother doing that before she'd hang the wash, then she got a clothes dryer. Were you the one who told me this is a zig zag ride? Kind of like a sailboat heading into the wind, got to tac this way and that. Been a long time since then as a Sea Scout. Lots of fun when I was a kid.
A girl at my meetings named Grace was chairing the meeting and she brought up "What do you fear?" She picked me first and I really wasn't prepared as I'd never sat and thought about that. In a weeks time now the only thing that I can come up with is "gossip" at the moment. Been in bad spots before, I fear God in a reverent way, not very good at that but I know He knows.
I'm feeling a bit mean at the moment. I'm not talking about bar room brawl mean but if anyone tried to pull one on me at the moment I know how to slash with words. Don't want to do that but I can. Told my x a while, months, before she left that I can be mean and I can be nice, but I prefer to be nice.
My brother Joe called me from Arizona and we went down memory lane for a while...heavy duty stuff from way back.
Still here! "I need, I need, give me I want..." old movie called What About Bob. It was a big funny for me and I watched it about 16 times. Want a good laugh this will do it. Bill Murray and Drefus.
Mark
@hopeful33250,
I need some advice right now! My x just called and hung up on me. I don't know whether to call back or wait. This has me in another knot. I don't want to call back but I don't know! It's about 4;00 right now! Hate this crap.
Did you call Mary back yet, Mark? I don't think it's necessarily required. If she had something to say, she should call again. I wonder if she hung up or if someone else cut her off. Were you having a good conversation with her when the call ended?
I know that life can be hard and complicated for all of us. I'm glad you're finding the AA group helpful.
Jim
@jimhd,
Hi Jim, you are on my list. I'm not real good at praying but I try. I've been trying to do things and my mind got all messed up. Only excuse I got!
The pain is still here and I didn't need this today. Yes I was feeling stronger but can't take this very well, prefer not at all.
The phone call was from Mary and it was a hang up call. Just heard one word and then the hang up. She sent an email but it was just a nothing. I'd sent her some of her mementos which do not pertain to me at all but are pre-meeting stuff. I still need to send her some jewelry and two other box's of her stuff which has nothing to do with me, that which pertains to me and her is gone, unless something turns up....you know! Cleaning out the barn and office and the corners of the house. A fair amount of stuff but it's all going through the mail as I get around to it.
This is not a "Mark is being nice to Mary"! This is strictly for me! Selfish or not that's what it is. It's her personal stuff and I don't think it right to dump it or throw it on my burn pile.
I won't respond to her email because she is mean but thinks she can get away with her attitude so I'm doing nothing. My niece also told me not to call her back.
If she calls I'll attempt to talk nice to her. It's very difficult to forgive someone who keeps it up. In the past she thought she was being clever with some response's she's given to people and it only hurt them, and me!
A lot of this is hind sight on my part but I have a pretty good memory. Some things I won't talk about and just leave them in the back of my head, I know grudges can hurt me, been there on a forty year grudge which got purged, painful but mostly gone. I don't like to worry about some things like, "Do you know what so and so did?".
I want peace and I'll get it but not with vindictiveness, I know that! I'll forgive, and I told her I'd work on it but she needs to stop being "worthy", which her new church teaches her! I am unworthy in her eyes and their eyes, and therefore I'm not deserving. I know what I'm saying, she told me this stuff and I researched the churches teachings.
Mary hasn't offered one word of apology to me! I think when you ruin someone and still want a limited amount of "What's up?" you should have some respect. She knows she put me in the hospital, her girlfriend the xray tech told her. I didn't want Mary to know for a very good reason.
When I was still in severe shock the first week, she called and told me she'd call every month and "check up on me." Well I'm just thrilled out of my mind to get sarcastic calls from her. When she gets smart ass with me I tell her "Have a nice day! Bye!" Rude of me, but really rude of her to make fun of me like this is some kind of comedy.
Sorry for the rant, but I've found that if you guys allow this from me it helps. I'm teachable and trying but I see no reason to allow her to torture me. I don't hate her, just extremely shocked and highly disappointed that this once sweet person could turn so mean.
Listening to Hymns right now 'Be Still My Soul', 'A Mighty Fortress Is Our God'. Bedtime music, good for the spirit. 2nd Chapter of Acts is the name of the band and one of the better ones. If you like, go to youtube and look them up, worth it.
I really don't want to fall into the hypocrite category so if you see something let me know, please. I'll consider it. We all can heal, right attitude is what the Master wants from us.
I'd like a more cordial talk with you because I'm me. Not a great photographer but I got a decent pic of my old blossoming plum tree which I pruned some, it looks good but not much fruit. We'll see in October, I think, maybe earlier whenever it ripens.
Thank you for listening. We all hate pain and that's what we are working out on this forum, I'm thankful I found you guys.
Mark,
ps: and I really do care for all the hurting people here!
I'm still confused and my brain is still rattled.
@muppey Mark,
I appreciate that you continue to post and share your experiences and feelings with us all. You are doing yourself a tremendous service and also helping others to recognize their own feelings.
I am glad that you are part of this online community. Keep up the good work you are doing. It will make a difference (even if it does not always feel like it). As they say in 12-Step Meetings - keep coming back!
Teresa
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@lisalucier,
Hi, the owner of the dog, Jake, called me yesterday and we are all happy campers today. The dog perked up when Cole drove into the driveway, they're hunting partners so that's good. We were talking at his truck for a while and I mentioned my pine tree which is staring at my house, it's started to lean way to much because it's growing with a steep bank on one side and no soil to hold roots. Naturally it's got to aim at me, poor guy/ Hah!
Anyway I mentioned it and asked Cole if he knew anyone who could fall a tree and then I said, "Couldn't afford it now anyway but it'd be nice to know." Cole didn't miss a beat and told me he'd get his pro friend over here after this Pineapple Express Storm blows over. Gonna get some rain tonight through Sunday morning. He said they'd do it for fun and no charge. Blow me away. He called later that night and said it's all set up with his buddy. Some days are diamonds. (John Denver)
Just got back from my VA therapist and that went well. See her again in May.