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Long-term depression
I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.
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@stressedmesseddepressed
I'm grateful for this group, as well. I'm the kind of person who naturally wants to be an encourager, and I find opportunity to do so here. I'm also grateful that others share their perspectives and experiences, which are instructive and empathetic. I'm as far along as I am thanks to both the people who are in my real life and the people who are in my online life. I've learned a lot here about a wide range of topics. I like to learn new things even if it isn't relevant to my own experience. One other important aspect of connecting with others is that it keeps me from isolating and feeling alone in my circumstances.
I appreciate everyone who gives input. Some is useful, some is interesting, some is encouraging, some is informative and some is humorous. Every post and every post-er has value.
Jim
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1 Reaction@jimhd Well, in the midst of what seems to be nothing more than doors being slammed on me. Thanks for a small chuckle. I am not even looking for an open window for now. Sure, take Aleve and Tylenol and go outside and walk to help with the pain. My pain is pyschosomatic...grrrrr. Teach me to see a therapist for mental health.
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2 ReactionsI know there is nothing anyone can do. I am responsible for myself. Depression can get ugly. It is right now. I feel betrayed by a therapist I "was" seeing. Now here records are a part of my medical history. How much help will I be able to get medically? Nothing that can be done. I am very discouraged and feel my patient rights have been violated. I had mentioned that my records were now available to all within the system she is in. I am dropping off the proof for her tomorrow. Nothing I can do nor do I want to do anything. I need help and there is no one to trust with all of the sharing of information!! Okay, blame it on PTSD.
@parus
Did you sign a form that allows sharing your information, and if so, who is permitted access? You might tell the doctor's records department to give you a copy of your accessability paperwork. It's totally illegal and unethical for them to disclose any of your patient records without your written permission.
Good luck.
Jim
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1 ReactionHello to all. Long term depression is a struggle. Finally after suffering at the bottom of the vortex for what was seeming like an eternal abyss I am beginning to have some good feelings. I appreciate the support I have gotten here and understand the torture of depression and when the blackness lifts for a while I am ever so grateful.
Today has been a good day. Always good to be able to see some sunshine. I strive to tuck it safe a way for the darker days. For today I will feel the sun upon my face and give thanks for the ability to emerge even if only for a little while.
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4 ReactionsI am so happy you have had a good day. I think it keeps hope alive and I am wishing you many many more!
Best wishes
Ainsleigh
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2 ReactionsYou gave me a Chuckle! Everyone's answer is to go outside and take a walk. What happens when your knees and legs are bad????
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2 ReactionsAh yes, records! My doc had his own practice and the last two years he belonged to the same hospital when he was an attending but joined a group of doctor associates. Their system is computerized - paperless office! So what happens when I want to know what exactly was done to my big toe ten years ago???? I'm being a bit facetious but it's true. I had been told that all his old records (handwritten, etc.) from his practice are stored in a warehouse!
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1 ReactionSo happy you had a good day. My anxiety is off the roof! Truthfully, I think my GAD is worse than my depression because the anxiety causes the depression. I don't know anymore.
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1 Reaction@shoregal45 Glad I could give you a chuckle. My legs are a mess too. I am not able to take that type of walk very often. Today will be ice packs and warm rice bags. My walking is bone against bone with bone spurs aplenty, etc.
I do not know your issues with your knees and legs. This does seem to be what many suggest. It may be like telling an intoxicated person to drink a cup of coffee for some.
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