Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@daddylonglegs

Hello i totally agree with you. I have same symptoms. Also nothing that i get interested lasts long. I get a feeling of" cant be asked" . When watching telly nothing seems to interest me for very long. Anxious all the time. I feel my whole insides shaking. I hate this condition. I am 62 yesrs old and have been suffering for about 20 years. I get alot of peeps saying the same thing. Pull yourself up. Its just laziness. NONE OF THE ABOVE. Please someone find a solution to depression. But some of the symptoms also resemble chronic fatigue. Good luck.

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Hello @daddylonglegs

I am sorry to hear of your symptoms. It sounds like they must limit your activities and your life. Have you ever been seen by a neurologist? While I'm not a medical professional, I have heard of these symptoms before in relation to neurological diagnoses. Over the past 20 years have you had other symptoms like balance problems, double vision, etc.?

Some of your symptoms, especially the one about nothing holding your interest for very long, can be related to an ADHD diagnosis or another neurological condition. I have found that many folks with Parkinson's have what is called "internal tremors." The PD disorder makes you feel "shaky" on the inside.

A good neurologist might be able to help you sort this out. I have known many people who have been treated for anxiety to later find out that it was a neurological problem. While your problem might be anxiety, it might be helpful to look at other possibilities.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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McLean Hospital and Harvard Medical School researchers believe they have uncovered a method that could be useful in predicting a depressed patient's treatment prognosis, prior to starting treatment.

Read more https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180411111103.htm

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This depression I carry will always be my companion whether I want it or not. It never goes away and now all I want to do is go away-far, far away. There is no "away".

Liked by johnsonk

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@parus

This depression I carry will always be my companion whether I want it or not. It never goes away and now all I want to do is go away-far, far away. There is no "away".

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Because of the use of brain imaging there is hope that what is learned will provide the answer to the depression you live with. We live in an amazing age and perhaps tomorrow some research team will provide the answer and free you from the depression you live with today,

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@parus

This depression I carry will always be my companion whether I want it or not. It never goes away and now all I want to do is go away-far, far away. There is no "away".

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I feel the same way. IT NEVER goes away!

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I'm so sorry you feel as if your depression will last forever. I can honestly tell you that we can learn to be content and full of joy in spite of sometimes feeling a little down. I don't want to preach to anyone, but God is my answer. I'm not talking about Religion, but truly giving your whole life to Him. It is amazing! 🙂

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A "little" down for some of us would be a welcomed thing in place of the deep, dark hole. We all experience down in varying levels-I think so.

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Once I dealt with depression by keeping busy and helping others. My body gave out and so did others in my life who once knew me as strong and amounted to something.
Now I am old and have wasted my life endeavoring to please others. I am saying it does not work and will destroy people-pleasing people.
If there is any one who does this I can tell you it will not gain you anything.
If my words sound self-pitying then so be it. I am saying these words as advice. I learned too late.

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@parus

Once I dealt with depression by keeping busy and helping others. My body gave out and so did others in my life who once knew me as strong and amounted to something.
Now I am old and have wasted my life endeavoring to please others. I am saying it does not work and will destroy people-pleasing people.
If there is any one who does this I can tell you it will not gain you anything.
If my words sound self-pitying then so be it. I am saying these words as advice. I learned too late.

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I understand what you are saying. I came from a large family and my older sister and one brother and I spent a lifetime looking after the others. I am the last survivor and about five years ago I decided that I had done enough for the family and turned the responsibities over to the oldest surviving niece. I am a widow (married for sixty years to a caring, wonderfull man) and in my old age I decided to live my life concentrating what was the best for me. The result that I have been abandoned by my children, nieces and nephews but I have developed a very fulfilling life without them. The Internet has opened new opportunites to explore the world outside of my immediate surroundings. I hope you can look at this time in your life as a time of absolute freedom to explore and find new meaning in your life.

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When we grow old and useless life begins to lose meaning.

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@parus While Im not all that old, I feel old and useless. Long distance significant other that doesn't need me, no children, feel unwanted and useless at work, cant care about anything long enough to have a real hobby, family lives 5 hrs away, number of true friends countable on one hand, etc. Talk therapy doesn't work anymore. Really the only thing that keeps me going is my dog and a couple of friends. I know how you feel…

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@parus

Long term depression is nothing more than a death sentence. The constant battle is never ending. There are no solutions for some. Reality is all there is for some. DNA cannot be a battle that can be won for some. we all do the best we know how. There is no denying genetics.

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@parus It is never ending and Im terrified to know that I have 40-50 more years of this ever present, exhausting daily battle.

Liked by Parus

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@johnsonk

@parus While Im not all that old, I feel old and useless. Long distance significant other that doesn't need me, no children, feel unwanted and useless at work, cant care about anything long enough to have a real hobby, family lives 5 hrs away, number of true friends countable on one hand, etc. Talk therapy doesn't work anymore. Really the only thing that keeps me going is my dog and a couple of friends. I know how you feel…

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I wish I could wave a magic wand and help you feel better about this stage of life. At age 91 I have gone through all the transitions after my husband's death 12 years ago and eventually found light at the end of the sadness tunnel. How can I help you to find the sunshine that is now part of my life?

Liked by Parus

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@parus

Long term depression is nothing more than a death sentence. The constant battle is never ending. There are no solutions for some. Reality is all there is for some. DNA cannot be a battle that can be won for some. we all do the best we know how. There is no denying genetics.

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How can I help you find the peace that I have acquired?

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@johnsonk

@parus While Im not all that old, I feel old and useless. Long distance significant other that doesn't need me, no children, feel unwanted and useless at work, cant care about anything long enough to have a real hobby, family lives 5 hrs away, number of true friends countable on one hand, etc. Talk therapy doesn't work anymore. Really the only thing that keeps me going is my dog and a couple of friends. I know how you feel…

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@johnsonk I am sad for how you are feeling. Does being able to work help at all? Once I could no longer work my life seemed even more worthless. I have only ever had one "true" human friend. I have had several of the quadruped type. I do miss having a pet, but health prevents thus so I settle for house plants. I have adult children nearby and I do not let them know how depressed or how much physical pain I am in. They have their lives and I don't ever want them to know how pathetic I feel. When needed I can muster up the "happy" face and push past the physical pain. I do enjoy time with my grand children.
Guess some of this sounds pathetic and I do not mean for it to be dismal. I held up emotionally until my body gave out. Stuff happens and I tell myself that there are others in worse shape than I am.
Glad you have your dog as a pet can be a form of motivation as well as going to work. Feeling empty is a sad place for many of us.

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