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Feeling bad for taking a break
Greetings all,
I’m taking a break from caregiving for my mother; getting a bit of much needed rest.
However, I feel very bad being away because I know she may not be here much longer. As much as I hate dementia and all of the traits it brings out, I love her, and I feel very conflicted and guilty being away.
I’m wondering if anyone else feels this way? When you’re with them, you can’t wait to get away; but when you leave, you feel sad, you worry, and you miss them…
Maybe it’s a form of Stockholm Syndrome?
Thank you for listening, and sending everybody support, and much love during this difficult journey.
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I'm not in your situation, but I look at things this way:
If you were reading a similar post written by someone else, would you blame them or expect them to feel bad for needing a break?
Probably not, I bet.
If you can readily forgive someone else, why not yourself?
I have a YouTube episode about self-forgiveness, something I struggle with a lot:
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3 Reactions@gratia Taking a break I think makes us even better caregivers. Your mom will be there when you get home for you to shower your deep love and affection. Just go enjoy those beautiful bouts you have in nature, and don't feel guilty over the roller coaster of emotions we often feel - love, exhaustion, frustration, and that dreaded guilt. Taking care of you - in your own selfcare......I say move guilt aside and YES to that much-needed break! Best, Karla
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6 ReactionsGratia , Don't feel guilty at all - a little R&R now and then is not only earned, it is absolutely necessary. If you intend to continue caring for your mother, you need to take care of yourself. Plus, when you return, your mother will probably be so happy to see you back, that it will give her a bit of pleasure to see you again. Whenever you are able to get competent support, please take advantage of it, you will be much better able to continue supporting Mom as you have so far. Best to you and your mother, enjoy a short break from what I know is not an easy task - but you will always be grateful that you were able to do it.
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4 ReactionsYou sweet soul! Give yourself a hug from me. Think of all the things that make you feel special, scents you like, tastes you love, and give yourself these things. Unplug for as long as possible. Your poor nervous system needs some TLC. The thoughts that contradict this fact, that is just your brain replaying a false narrative. Rest. If it makes your life easier, invest in that! If something enhances your wellness-do it! Your life is happening AS your mom is losing her ability to connect with you. My own mom with dementia is forgetting all the sacrifices and responsibilities that I have. You have to care for you. Start with one thing today. Keep reaching out.
@kjc48 Thank you Karla! 🤗❤️
@fred1 Thank you very much, Fred. I just needed to hear the confirmation that it’s ok. Logically I know that this is needed, and I should enjoy myself and take the break, but emotionally I’m just so exhausted that I feel lost, if that makes sense.
Thank you again! I appreciate the support 🤗❤️
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